Pennies From Heaven

Several years ago (2002 to be exact) I had what I refer to as “The Cancer Scare – Act 1 and 2.” Act 1 occurred during a routine doctor’s appointment; Deb was performing a breast exam and said the words that can strike terror into the hearts of women everywhere. “I found a lump” is not something you ever want to hear, unless someone is talking about panning for gold. An appointment was made for a mammogram. Two days later, the results of my PAP smear came back – abnormal cells had been found that could be precancerous.

My mother had cancer of the uterus when she was pregnant with my sister. Shortly after Kari was born, Mom had a hysterectomy. When I was in high school, she was diagnosed with breast cancer and had to have a lumpectomy. So, as you can imagine, I was a little freaked out when I was faced with the possibility of Double Cancer (since Vegas, anytime I use the word Double I say it my head as Doo-blee. This will not make sense to you unless you are Beth. To the rest of you, I'll explain some other time). To add to the stress, I was also sent to the hospital to be diagnosed for some disease that causes your esophagus to stiffen and then you stop swallowing or breathing or something like that (I have a tendency to choke on my own saliva, let alone other food. Like the little broccoli things on heads of raw broccoli).

On the day of the mammogram and the test for the choking thing, I am sitting in the waiting room. Now, I have a tendency to hope for the best but prepare for the worst. So, while I am waiting, my positive side is thinking "Yes, you could have cancer BUT they've made great progress and it is going to be okay" while my other half, the depressed side, is thinking "You're going to die. Oh MY God. This is horrible!" Needless to say, since I've been taking Effexor, my negative/depressed side usually keeps her mouth shut. Which is a good thing.

Anyway, to take my mind off of the waiting and the nerves and the nerve wracking waiting, I start paging through a magazine. It may have been a Reader's Digest but I'm not positive. Anyway, the article that caught my attention was about three women who lost their mother or father and had been having a hard time dealing with the loss. One of the women was listening to the radio one day and heard the song "Pennies From Heaven" and reminded the others how their parent had enjoyed that song. The next day, in different parking lots, all three of them looked down and found bright, shiny pennies lying on the ground. And every time one of them got depressed over missing their parent or was going through a rough time, they would find a penny.

When I read this, I thought "It sure would be nice if I could get a sign that things would be okay." My mind immediately flashed to my grandmother. When I was in a car accident about ten years ago and rushed to the hospital, I had been asked if there was a family member I wanted them to call. I said "Yes, my grandmother" and rattled off her phone number. The nurse headed towards the phone when I said "But she won't answer." Why not? "She's dead." That's when they decided I was probably in shock. It is my grandmother who I want when I am hurt or scared.

In the waiting room, I got this intense feeling that Grandma was there with me and I looked down. There was a penny on the floor in front of me. I told myself it was just a coincidence and then, two seconds later, a car commercial started playing on the television. The song playing in the background was "Pennies From Heaven." The commercial featured a car being driven through a rain storm, if you will, of pennies.

I felt so relieved and so loved at that moment that all that came after that (the indignity of swallowing chocolate flavored chalk and having to hold completely still while crammed into this small tube like thing AND the taking my breast and dragging it across the room only to try and flatten it completely) went by without anymore worry. I was going to be okay.

Thursday night, Beth and I were sitting in my parking ramp, talking about the night and we got on the subject of her grandfather and her mother. While we were talking about that, I flashed back to sitting in the waiting room and the commercial. After we said goodbye, I was headed inside and thought "I wish I knew that Laurie (Beth's mom) was going to be okay (I hope her grandfather will be okay as well, of course, but I think of Laurie as sort of a surrogate mother)." When I walked inside the building, the song play was "Pennies From Heaven." That feeling of love and relief washed over me again.

I miss my grandmother a lot but it is nice to know that she's there, watching over me and the people I care about.

Pennies From Heaven - Frank Sinatra

Every time it rains, it rains pennies from heaven
Don't you know each cloud contains pennies from heaven?
You'll find your fortune's fallin' all over the town
Be sure that your umbrella is upside down

Trade them for a package of sunshine and flowers
If you want the things you love, you must have showers
So, when you hear it thunder, don't run under a tree
There'll be pennies from heaven for you and me

Every time, every time it rains, it's gonna rain pennies from heaven
Don't you know every cloud contains lots of pennies from heaven
You'll find your fortune's fallin', baby, all over the town
Be sure, be sure that your umbrella is upside down

Trade them for a package of sunshine and flowers
If you want the things you love, you've got to have showers
So, when you hear it thunder, don't run under a tree
There'll be pennies from heaven for you and me

Karaoke Revisited - Part 2

The first part of this is here. I am now covering karaoke from more recent evenings:

Unknown Sunday

Craig is singing.

DM: It’s “Arthur’s Song!” Yay, Arthur!

Then I applaud in a most dorkish manner. There may have been an interpretive dance. I’m not saying.

The same night, we were discussing the Tomato conspiracy that took place. Beth and I were discussing how I could avoid the tomatoes. Beth feels that I should request a sandwich that doesn’t have tomato in the name. I could order a turkey sandwich, request bacon and no tomatoes. I feel that, since all I want on the sandwich is bacon, mayo and lettuce, I would have to order a turkey sandwich, add bacon, no tomatoes, no turkey. I think they would mess it up even more.

Craig: Why don’t you tell them that you don’t want any bloody tomahtoes?

I am not sure why I found that so amusing now.

Also, Craig is singing again. Beth has walked away. It’s a slow night, the only other person there is Random Guy (whose name is also Matt but that is too many bloody Matts so we’re sticking with Random Guy). Not wanting to make eye contact with Random Guy, all my attention is focused on Craig.

Craig: La. La. La.

He thinks the song is over and goes to put the microphone away. Then he sees more words on the screen and realizes that he’s not done yet. He grabs for the microphone but it has become tangled up in the stand. He ends up having to lean over to sing the last few lines of the song. I start laughing, of course, because it looks ridiculous and he knows it.

Craig: You! You hush now!
B (returning): What?

I explain what happened. Craig is making shushing noises at me.

Craig: You just had to tell her, didn’t you?
DM: Yeah. I’m blogging it.
Craig: ARGH!

He may not have actually said ARGH. I exaggerate on occasion. Not that anyone would notice.

Random Guy wanted to know if he could sit with us. Beth and I quickly explained we had friends sitting with us. And we did. Off playing darts. And then, not long after, they abandoned us. And we were afraid that Random Guy would return and want to sit with us. He did end up sitting at the end of the table, next to Craig. And then he proceeded to occupy Craig’s time with every possible thing he could ever tell anyone. And I, of course, listened to some of it for the purpose of blogging.

Random Guy had recently cut his hair so he went from having a mullet to short hair.

RG: No. Dude. Seriously. Three of my female friends hit on me today.

I find this very hard to believe. First of all, while his haircut has upped his potential attractive points, he only moved from “horribly scary” to “frightfully scary.” He is not an attractive man. He’s rude, annoying and also Beth overheard him telling Stubes about how his girlfriend left him and that’s why she deserves getting beat up by her new boyfriend. Yeah. I so want to date this guy.

RG is singing “The Dance.” Badly. Beth and I are trying very hard not to laugh at him.

B: This is a sad song.
DM: Yes. Yes, it is. As I laugh hysterically.

After Random Guy finishes singing, Craig turns to him.

Craig: Nicely done.
DM: Are you on crack?

I am surprised I said this out loud and where RG could overhear me. I will rarely ever say anything negative about someone’s singing. Oh! We interrupt this post to bring you an update on Random Guy. He's not only annoying to us. Bryan decided to tell him that he wouldn't be able to sing karaoke anymore unless he purchased something. Seems the guy only drinks water. It's okay for me to just drink water though, because Beth drinks Coke and we tip extremely well. It's one of the reasons why we get the special mugs and I am allowed to ransack the garnish tray for olives. Anyway, Random Guy got ticked off by this and has not been back. Darn.

We return to our regularly scheduled post.

I am singing the song “Wonder.” I’m not sure why I thought this would be a good choice. While I love the song, it’s a bit high for me. There’s a section where all you sing is “Mmm.”

DM: That makes my lips tingle. And not in a good way.

Another night, maybe the same one? Doesn’t really matter. There is a girl who decides she’s going to sing Melissa Etheridge’s “Come To My Window.” Damn good song.

Beth grabs my notebook and writes down the following:

I would crawl inside just to hear you breathe. Hold the hand of death.

Apparently, breathe and death now rhyme (It’s supposed to be “your breath”).

I add the following:

And also, apparently, we chose this song just so she could scream – not because she knows it AT all.

Sunday, October 2nd

Saturday, I went over to Beth’s to scrapbook and spent the entire time organizing my stickers. This is amazing for me. I am not an organized person at all. Of course, if I hadn’t organized the stickers, Beth would have killed me. I did leave them scattered all over her table.

She is going through pictures of her family and holds up one. It’s of a handsome man who looks like a 40’s movie idol.

DM: Ooh. Who’s that?
B: My grandfather.
DM: Wow. Your grandfather was hot.

She shows me a few other pictures of him.

DM: I was so born in the wrong time zone. I mean time. Argh! Era!
B: Yeah. Just think of how much better your life would have been if you were born in Mountain Standard Time.

Other random Bethisms:

B: There’s my Mom. With a cracker. No. That’s Jesus’ flesh.

B: I think I’m going to title this page “The day my Godmother decided to take me out to get pictures of me that make me look like a whore.”
DM: What?
B: She took me to Glamour Shots.
DM: Oh. Okay.

I grab for a piece of paper.

DM: What was that again?
B: I can't repeat it. It was fun and spontaneous and you have ruined it, man.

She shows me that iTunes is now letting people purchase movies. This is evil of them but, fortunately, none of the movies are ones that she just has to have. One of the movie titles intrigues us enough to watch the preview. It is called "Scorpius Gigantus" and it frightens us. Not because the movie appears to be scary at all but because it is quite possibly the dumbest idea for a movie. We decide to watch part of the preview. It is beyond cheesy.

We journeyed up to the Chalet and, while waiting for karaoke to get started, heard this on the juke box.

“Stop the senseless killing. Can’t you hear the roses cry? How many flowers have to die?”

I am confused and a little frightened but amused enough to Google the lyrics. Have I mentioned that this was definitely a country song? It's by some guy named Brad Paisley? Pailey? Something or another?

Long stem things of beauty
Created by the good Lord
Cut down in the prime of their lives
Boxed up, wrapped in paper
Delivered to your front door
Just to wind up in your garbage can outside

(Chorus:)
Tell me how many flowers have to die
Before you give this love another try
I've asked you to forgive me at least 9 dozen times
Tell me how many flowers have to die

I'm crazy and I'm desperate
I had you and I blew it
And right now I've got nothing left to lose
I've got a Visa in my wallet
And I'm not afraid to use it
How long the needless violence lasts
Is really up to you

(Chorus)

Stop the senseless killing
Can't you hear the roses cry
Baby, how many flowers have to die
Tell me how many flowers have to die

I may have to analyze the lyrics of this song someday. Not today. This post is long enough.

Bryan enjoys bad movies and we were sure to tell him about Scorpius Gigantus.

DM: Yeah, we watched the preview. You have this scorpion that looks like it was made out of papier-mache scurrying around. Completely cheesy.
Bryan: Do you know how to defeat a papier-mache scorpion?
Beth: Fire.
Bryan: No. It takes a stick and a blindfold and someone has to spin around 3 times. Turns out papier-mache scorpions? Filled with candy.

Last night, Beth brought up a DVD for Bryan. Her dad found out that Bryan likes to watch bad movies and thought he might enjoy it. The DVD is filled with 4 horror "classics" and Beth read the synopsis of them to me in her Horror Movie Announcer voice (which she's quite good at, by the way. If she ever gives up her career at NABABNA, she could make a killing (pun intended)).

B: There's "Attack of the Giant Leeches," "She-Demons," "Bride of the Gorilla" and "The Sound of Terror."
DM: Can you really call them horror classics if I've never heard of a single one?

She shows the DVD to Bryan and his eyes light up while he is looking it over.

Bryan: Well, as a karaoke host, I am quite familliar with the sound of terror.

It was a good night. There were some new people there last night, two girls (Somorae and Treasure (and neither of these names are made up, apparently) and their friends. Somorae became a bit intoxicated and was very amusing, with the dancing and the excited clapping. There was also the start of a running joke involving Treasure and Bryan.

Treasure: I was born in 1985.
DM: Shut up. I graduated in '85.
Bryan: I lost my virginity in 1985 (pause). What's your mother's name?
Somorae: He boned your mom.

Treasure: You have a gap tooth.
Bryan: Yes, I do.
Treasure: I have one as well. Daddy!

Treasure: Daddy? Why didn't I get a present for my birthday this year?
Bryan: I named you Treasure. That's enough.

After the bar closed, Somorae was talking to us while her friends waited by the door. It was pretty funny watching them wait as she was telling us everything about her fiance Tim once being a rescue swimmer for the Coast Guard to her job for the government. She's very animated and I really enjoyed her antics last night. We hope they come back.

Also, I went to Josh's birthday party on Sunday. Once again, my sister has done her part to make sure I never want to have children. 1 child (if Josh), enjoyable and amusing. 2 children (Josh and other child), tolerable. 14 children (Josh and 13 of his friends/classmates), terrifying. It wasn't too bad until it was time to open the presents. I was supposed to document who each present came from. Fine. I can handle this.

Josh sits in the middle of the floor. Kari sits next to him to hand him the presents. Josh goes to open the first present. And then the swarm of children attack. Ripping at paper and shoving and screaming and making me cower in fear.

DM: Yeah, children, you're all freaking out Auntie Dana a little bit.

Josh is somewhat shy and I don't see him that often. It usually takes a little while for him to warm up to me. I found it amusing that, after the party was over and we were waiting for Daddy to show up with the car, Josh comes over to me and grabs my hand.

DM: Hi, Josh.
Josh: Come here.

He drags me over to a machine where you can make a souvenier quarter.

Josh: Money.

Yeah. He is so his mother's child. Suckered me out of a buck 25. And then I had to make one for myself so I can scrapbook it, of course.

Afterwards, there was the playing on the sidewalk while Daddy and Mommy loaded the car. Josh was walking up and down the bench and posing like a monster and also showing off his muscles. I might be slightly biased when I say that he is the most adorable child in the entire universe but I think that's okay.

Hope you all had a good weekend! I did but I am exhausted.