Saturday, July 30, 2005

Memories, misty water-colored memories

There's another post below this, guys. It's lonely. Please read it as well. Please? You know I'm a comment junkie.

Ten Years Ago: Hmm. 1995. What was I doing then? Oh. I remember. Going to my ten year high school reunion which was a complete waste of time. Working for a small wire distribution center where I hated my boss with a passion and hoped, when he and his wife went to see the Grand Canyon, that she would push him off. I figured not a jury alive would convict her because he was such an ass. Living with a "friend" who thought making fun of me was his God given right and who used to tell people that he had to move to a new place because my ass had taken up all of the room in the old one and also would, right before my birthday, say "Dana, you're going to be 28. What have you accomplished in your life so far?" Which would make me completely analyze my life and think that I was a total loser and is one of the reasons that I used to get depressed right before my birthday. This is the same guy who decided to move and sell his trailer out from under both myself and my other roommate. I had two weeks to find a new place to live, if I remember right.

You know, now that I think of it, this was the summer right before I turned 29 in March and ended up calling the suicide hotline because I couldn't deal with everything going on in my life - with the depression and the hating of the job and the fact that Rob (posts 1, 2 and 3) couldn't make up his mind between me and that married bitch with the kid and my cat ran away and oh, my God, could my life have been anymore pathetic. Obviously, 28 was not my year. 38 is much better.

Five Years Ago: I would have been 33. It was the beginning of some major changes for me. First of all, I left the Dark Side Bank and came to NABABNA in 2000. This was at the suggestion of the former friend mentioned above and is quite possibly the best thing he ever did for me. The second best thing he ever did for me was when he finally crossed that last line, the line that I didn't even know I had drawn into the sand, and I was able to walk away from him without any regrets (I will do a post about this some day. Not today. Too tired). This is before I met Beth and Keem but I had met Matt because we were in the same training class.

I was living in my own apartment for the first time ever and loved it. Eddy and Mac were my cats. Buffy was on the air. Life was good and has only become better.

One Year Ago: On July 31, 2004, I wrote this post about my Dad. During this time frame, I was watching Last Comic Standing and had "met" Firebear for the first time. I believe he found my blog by searching for Tammy Pescatelli. I was still working in the call center at NABABNA and getting extremely burnt out. I was not yet on Effexor and felt like I was missing something. Like I was wrapped up in cotton wool and no real emotions were getting through to me. Sometime into August I wrote this post about my feelings about Public Displays of Affection. It is very funny, if I do say so myself. Oh, wait, I do. You should go read it. It will please me. And I wrote a post about what my dream lover would be like, the main point of the post is right here:

"My Mr. Right will have an odd sense of humor that I will get but others might not. He will like to read and watch movies. He will understand that sometimes I just don't want to talk to anyone. He will cook and clean and understand that I hate to do both and will not expect me to do so (or he'll be rich enough so that I can have that ultimate of luxuries, a staff). He is artistic and sensitive and loves my friends. And they love him. He will wear suits that are tailored to fit him. He will strut. He will be articulate. He may speak with an accent (preferably British). He will be bookish and charming. He will sing to me and occasionally dance in fountains. He will want to make love in the rain. He will be playful and fun and make me laugh. He will like movies with martial arts and car chases and buddy cops and will also appreciate romantic comedies and musicals."

Beth, am I wrong in thinking that this describes Gil extremely well (except for the tailored suits and English accent thing and I don't think I've ever seen him strut)? May I just scream in frustration? Thank you. ARGGGGGHHHH!

Yesterday: I got really cranky with stock holders. Not with them, I guess, but after I hung up the phone. I had a horrible headache and went home and slept until almost 3:30 AM. I figured out I really need to refill my Effexor prescription because, while I'm still pretty happy and enjoying my life more than I ever had before, I'm getting easily irritated and that's just never good. I said goodbye to Katie and cried.

5 Snacks I Enjoy: Don Pablo's queso blanco with chips. These cinnamon raisin bagel crisp things that I forget I like until I find them at the grocery store. Trail mix, preferably with cranberries and almonds. Mmm. Blue Bunny root beer float popsicles. Rye bread and butter. I love chocolate, don't get me wrong but these are things that I could sit down and binge on. Which is why I try to enjoy them in moderation.

5 Songs I Know The Words To: Change The World - Eric Clapton, Two Out of Three Ain't Bad - Meat Loaf, Nobody - Sylvia, Hit Me With Your Best Shot - Pat Benatar and Give Me One Reason - Tracy Chapman. It helps that these are all songs I sing at karaoke.

5 Things I Would Do With $100 Million: Pay off all of the debts of my family and myself. Buy a house. Give Kari and Eric money so that they tear down their house and build a new one. Give Liz the money she needs to start up her own restaurant and be a silent partner. Do the same for Beth and Keem in any business that they might be interested in. Surf the internet daily on exciting broadband (I hate dial-up!). Maybe open a book store (which would pretty much be an excuse to read all day). Bring Johnny and Loverboy to Minnesota so Johnny can go to the State Fair. Travel. Finish my stupid book. Let my sister invest my money so I can afford to become a silent partner for many people and never have to work again.

5 Places I Would Escape To: Great Britain (could spend years exploring England, Ireland and Scotland), Portugal, Italy, some place where the temperature never gets below 50 or above 80 degrees (does such a place exist? It has to be out there somewhere) and the Chalet (no one said they all had to be countries).

5 Bad Habits: Not exercising as I should, being cleaning challenged (God, I hate it), whining (although I prefer to think of it as creative complaining), biting my fingernails and interrupting people (mostly Keem. She hates it).

5 Things I Like Doing: Reading, eating, making anyone laugh (Diana's first three, obviously we have much in common. Until I read her next two: gardening, organizing closets), karaoke and watching movies. Dammit, I'm the Queen of the Universe. I'm adding scrapbooking to this.

5 Things I'd Never Wear: Anything that comes above the knee, really, really tight clothes (yeah, like I need more bulges than I already have), anything with a heel higher than one or two inches (can't walk in heels), my hair super short again (what was I thinking) and white (doesn't look good on me and I spill constantly. And yes, Mom, this does include a wedding dress. My wedding dress would be red (and no, I have no wedding plans. It's just fun to think about this stuff, especially with Rachel getting married and we discuss how different I am from her)).

5 TV Shows I Like: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Rock Star: INXS (it started out only because Jordis is on it but I am enjoying it but I only watch on Tuesday nights when the whole group is performing because I don't care about the clinics and as long as no one I like from the show is in danger, I don't care who gets voted off), CSI: and The Amazing Race (it has become family time since Jeff, Keem and I watch it together).

5 Biggest Joys Of The Moment: Karaoke (always), Spending time with my friends, Blogging and reading blogs, Effexor (got to love the stuff, it keeps me alive) and the pizza I'm going to order as soon as I finish this post (sausage, pepperoni, black and green olives with a white sauce (garlic & butter instead of stupid tomato sauce) - yummy).

5 Favorite Toys: Computer, iPod, my eyes (in the fact that I use them to read and watch movies), my digital camera and, and iTunes (I couldn't think of a 5th toy and started grasping at straws).

From Diana.

Friday, July 29, 2005

Thoughts From Karaoke

These are just random thoughts from karaoke that I had while waiting for Beth and Char to come up. Keem dropped me off at the Chalet at about 8:30 and I had a lot of time to listen to my iPod and read my new book (Count Down by Iris Johansen). And observe the oddness that surrounded me. I changed colors to demonstrate the difference between thought patterns.

Since when is eating cheese fries considered a sport? ESPN is broadcasting the Alka-Seltzer Open. Does anyone else find it amusing that Alka-Selter is sponsoring a food eating competition?

Bryan's shirt has a goat on it. It is very cool. Apparently it's for a rugby team.

DM: I like sheep.
Bryan: Yes, but a man wearing a shirt with a sheep on it would be considered suspicious. There would be raised eyebrows.*
DM: This is true.

*It was close to this but infintely more cooler than what I actually remember him saying. But I think he would think it weird if I pulled out a tape recorder and made him repeat everything brilliant that he says.**

**No, I do not yet have a tape recorder. But soon, my pretties, soon.

I got free cigarettes! Someone left a pack of Carlton Menthol 100s behind. Unopened. They are not bad but remind me of when I used to steal my grandmother's Carlton's and used to wonder why anyone would smoke cigarettes made out of air.

The first guy to sing tonight sang "Jenny" and it was odd and quite horrible. Not that he was a bad singer but he kept screaming at the audience ("Embrace the 80's!" "Ladies! Hello, ladies!" Stuff like that). I asked Mel (the bartender who gave me the pack of smokes. She is quite nice and not only because she's helping me foster my addiction to nicotine (I only smoke occasionally, people. No lectures allowed. It's mainly a karaoke thing and I smoke maybe a pack or two a week, much less than the pack or two a day from two or three years ago)) if she thinks he's probably single. Her response was "Oh, I'm quite sure of it." There was a hint of desperation in his performance.

Andrew is here! Yay! It is nice to see him.

I found greeting cards that I had bought about two months ago. Two of them are now earmarked for LIz because it was her birthday last week. One is for Beth. I'm giving one to Matt (the boss) because he is pretty cool (On the front it says "A short essay on why I work." On the inside it says "I like food. The End"). I think he'll be amused. I also bought a card for Rachel without really knowing her at the time (I just thought the card was funny and had no idea why I was buying it) but it is about shoes & therefore perfect.

If you are anorexic, you should not wear a spaghetti strapped tank top. Your shoulders are frightening me.

I honestly just heard a woman ask Mel "Are they doing karaoke here?"

No. It's a concert. C'mon, look at the Chalet shirts. "Karaoke gone wild", for God's sake. The sign outside says "Karaoke 7 nights a week!"

Here's a question. On the "Best Damn Sports Show Ever (or whatever it's name is because I'm not paying that much attention to it)," the male guests are escorted out by scantily clad women in bikinis. Do they have female guests and, if so, are they escorted by men wearing Speedos?

The really annoying girl from last Thursday is here. Now I'm not a violent person (stop laughing, people! Don't make me hurt you) but I wanted to bitch slap her so much last week. Especially when she kept hitting one of the Thursday regulars on the arm. I'm not sure if that was her way of flirting but personally, I've never won the affections of anyone by hauling off and pounding on them.

Of course, since I'm so very single, perhaps that would make the difference. Maybe I could get a club and drag Gil off to my cave after hitting him over the head. I'm sure he'd appreciate that!

It is very crowded tonight. I had a table earlier but was asked to switch with a bunch of people so they could move the tables together. I ended up at the bar for awhile (because the table I ended up sitting at was right next to the really loud drunk people and I couldn't hear my iPod over them) but moved to another table in the back since Beth and Char are going to be here soon.

The table I ended up at almost collapsed when I put my purse on it. Fortunately Andrew was very manly and was able to fix it. I like knowing men. They can be so very helpful.

Reverend James (I don't think he's a real reverend but I'm not sure. He is engaged to Marian or Mary Anne or something like that. Who can wear a midriff baring shirt with class and doesn't seem to find the need to pair it with low cut jeans (I hate it when you're walking along and get thong glimpses. I don't want to see your thong, people. That is a level of intimacy that I'm just not ready for) and I'm starting to become fond of her since she is very nice), Joe Funko (not sure that's his real name. Bryan calls him this) and Bryan are all singing Ceceila. I love this song.

Scary anorexic woman just grabbed Bryan. I am worried for him because she doesn't look like she's had anything to eat in months. Please don't eat Bryan, scary woman. We would miss him.

Yay! Beth and Char are here. We are going to play darts.

I have to feel so sorry for Andrew because I usually end up choosing him as my dart partner. I have this theory that we should be partners (just in darts. Anyone thinking he might be Gil would be wrong) because his name starts AND and mine starts DAN. So our names are closer and therefore I don't choose Bryan or Benny. I think he's going to kill me because I'm so very pathetic at darts.

I think Benny and Char won. I don't remember for sure.

We ended up back at the bar when Liz got here. I gave her the cards. She was amused (or quite frightened but hid it well).

We spent the last hour or so of the night talking to Liz and had a great time laughing about random things, including dead hamsters (Char and Liz told us about the funerals that they had for their pets. Maybe you had to be there but oh, my God, these are funny stories). I told Liz about my plan to drive my Mom insane if I ever get married by either having an Elvis impersonator or Bryan perform the ceremony and she said "Or you could have Bryan dress like Elvis. He could sing "Blue Suede Shoes!" Is she great or what?

I cannot wait for Sunday. Who knows what will happen? Tune in later for the continuing adventures of Dana, Queen of the Universe!

Kiss Me

As I mentioned in my last post, Beth and I went to see “March of the Penguins” on Monday. Since I work in South Saint Paul and the movie was playing in Roseville and Beth lives in Moundsview, we decided it would make much more sense if I met Beth at the Rosedale Mall than have her drive out to downtown Saint Paul to pick me up and then turn around and head out to Roseville.

This decision actually worked out pretty well. But, as always, a simple bus trip for me cannot just be a simple bus trip. No, there needs to be adventure of some sort. I am assuming this is God’s way of making sure that I’m never bored.

Right before I got on the bus, I felt a raindrop. Then another. Now, this is not a big deal because honestly, I like the rain. Well, let me rephrase that. I like warm, cool you down after really hot day kind of rain. I do not like cold, damp seeping into your bones rain. That is bad rain.

Anyway, I got on the bus and listened to some really kick ass music on my iPod. Which, for some reason, all of these songs seemed to be about romance. Since my iPod is on auto fill and I rarely adjust it, apparently the cosmic joker is back messing with my mind again. For your enjoyment, here are some of the songs I heard that I would recommend to anyone. The lyrics are linked (and I tried to avoid the sites with the pop-ups. I hate those).

It Hurt So Bad – Susan Tedeschi. Wow. Who is this woman and why have I never heard her before? She rocks.

Use Me Up – Hootie and the Blowfish. Live version of the Bill Withers song and it is amazing. Yes, I like Hootie. But I will still mock him for his purple cowboy suit wearin’, Burger King commercial singin’ self.

Crazy for You – Madonna. I used to say that Madonna’s music reminded me of my first boyfriend. This song was no exception. The first time we heard it was during an argument and he used it to win said argument. Sacana!

Pavlov’s Bell – Aimee Mann. I mentioned the song in my previous post so if you didn’t read the post or read the post and didn’t comment, it is there for you. Isn’t that fun?

Dangerous – Ghost of the Robot. Spike James Marsters band. Former band. They broke up. This is kind of sad because I like this CD. And yes, I bought it just because of the fact that he is Spike. I also bought the Kane CD which is by Christian Kane, the incredibly hunky actor who played Lindsey on Angel. Diana, you should email me and we should discuss how much you need to have these CDs.

Anyway, I am rockin’ out to some great tunes (anyone have any doubts that I graduated in ’85? That should convince you) when I get to the spot where I need to get off to catch the second bus. In the rain. Because it is now pouring. But I don’t mind. Because I like rain, remember?

I ask the bus driver which way Jackson is and start heading that way, when I see a large bus shelter. Perhaps this is where I am supposed to catch my bus. I wander all over the shelter, trying to find a dry spot on my shirt so I can clean my glasses since I am now blind and not finding the number for my bus on the many route schedules.

Fine. I’ll check with a bus driver. Maybe he will know. He doesn’t. But a woman boarding the bus tells me to walk up a block to the next bus stop. Okay. This is not a problem. The rain is still warm, I’m in a spectacular mood, and I’ve got great music. I take my glasses off and put them in my purse so that I’ll be able to see and walk up to the next stop.

Hmm. I still cannot find my bus on any of these schedules. This is not good. A quick check with another bus rider reveals that it is getting close to the time I need to catch the bus. I may have to fall back on Plan B, taking an alternate bus which will require transferring to yet another bus. I do not want to do this. Two busses are bad enough but three would be just outrageous. Especially since I’m not overly fond of busses. I check the schedules again. 63, 64. No 65. Dang it.

I ask yet another bus driver. He tells me to walk to another stop. This is up a very steep hill. And will take me at least another five minutes. As I start pulling out my cell phone to call Beth, I look up and there is the schedule for the 65 bus. Soooo, I am at the right bus stop. Oh and look. Here is the bus I need. Thanks so much, Mr. Driver of the 64 bus for not having a clue. And I could have waited at the large shelter and avoided all of this rain. Not that I mind. Because I like rain. Rain is our friend.

I climb on the bus, still in a great mood, when I realize that there is a slight problem. I am soaked. The bus is air conditioned. I am now freezing.

But that’s okay. I spend the next 45 minutes to listening to music and thinking about stuff (read Gil. Because I obviously have nothing better to do than analyze everything he has ever said to me and try to figure out if he has figured out that he is the guy I like or if he’s just being flirty because he likes me and oh, my God, can I stop thinking about him for two seconds and hello, iTunes, you are not helping me when you play these songs!)

I think my number one complaint about my romantic life is that I have never been kissed in the rain. I suppose I only have Hollywood for making this seem the epitome of romanticness but I really think this would be passionate and exciting and wonderful. It would be the kiss to end all kisses.

Does anyone else find it weird that my number one complaint of my romantic life is that I’ve never been kissed in the rain and not, oh the fact that I have been “dateless” for over 8 years? But that’s me, people of the Internet. I obsess about odd things.

Finally, finally I get to Rosedale. Does the bus drop me off near the door? No. I am released from the freezing confines about a ¼ mile away from the door. It is raining even harder and I start looking around for an ark. Where is Noah when I need him? Besides being dead, I mean.

Fortunately Beth is only a phone call away and, after we try to figure out where each other are, we finally meet up. In the five minutes since I got off the bus, I am completely drenched.

DM (on the phone, peering through the deluge of water streaming from her hair): How did you know where I would be?
Beth: I drove to where the bus stop was.
DM: Oh. Yeah. That would make sense.

The theater is across the street from Rosedale. We have enough time to get something to eat at Timber Lodge (Mmm. Steak. Beth posted about our evening here, by the way). After dinner, I decide to run to the bathroom and check my hair. Where I promptly scream since I looked like the proverbial drowned rat. I am really glad that this was not a day I decided to wear make-up. I rarely wear the stuff but when I do decide to experiment, it is usually on the hottest days of the year where it melts off in moments or on days like this.

We did make it to the theater in time, were able to say hi to James. He was very busy so there wasn’t a lot of time to talk to him but he did arrange for us to see the movie for free which was quite nice of him. Especially if you disregard the death threat he made to Beth when she said we could pay for the movie. I don’t think he really would have killed us.

“March of the Penguins” was brilliant. I did enjoy it and recommend you see it. I laughed, I cried, I laughed and cried some more.

After the movie, Beth was craving ice cream so we headed to Fridleykins. Getting out of the car, we hear this barking and there is a puppy (all dogs, regardless of age, are puppies to me) in the car next to us. Beth and I say hello to the puppy and then I notice that there is a smaller puppy in the back seat.

DM: There are TWO puppies!
Beth: Double puppies!

This just goes to show you that Beth and I do have a lot in common. We are both dorks.

And, keeping with my whole romantic vant about never being kissed in the rain, I leave you with today’s song and title (which is not so much about being kissed in the rain as it is about dammit, I need some smooches and this is probably the sexiest song I have ever heard):

Kiss Me by Melissa Etheridge.

Baby what you doin' tonight?
I'll go anywhere that you want to go.
Jump into my car, go down to that bar
Pretend I'm someone that you don't know

I'll ask you if you would like to dance
Slip myself up close to your thighs
You can buy me a drink, we'll make everyone think
That love is so damned perfect tonight

Oh kiss me, kiss me, kiss everything away
Oh honey now kiss me, kiss me, kiss me.
Come out and play

A woman can go crazy I know, working all day in and day out
Come on, we'll let off some steam,
Create a scene
Nothing like a good scream and shout

Oh kiss me, kiss me, kiss everything away
Oh honey now kiss me, kiss me, kiss me
Come out and play

Your kiss is like medicine - a prescription to ecstasy
And your mind is my playground –
Look at what I've found lying next to me


Baby what you doin' tonight?
I'll be anyone you want me to be
Just a girl in a bar, your personal super star
I just want ya, I want ya, I want ya, I want you to

Kiss me, kiss me, kiss everything away
Oh honey now kiss me, kiss me, kiss me.
Come out and play

Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me.
Come out and play
Come out and play
Come out and play

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Pavlov's Bell

I spoke to my Mom on Sunday. After the usual Mom stuff (how hot it is in Arizona, do I miss her, she’ll be coming up in November, etc) we have the following exchange:

Mom: You don’t send me emails telling me what is going on in your life. How am I supposed to know?
DM: That’s why I have a blog, Mom.
Mom: Oh. Yeah, that’s right. I got kicked out of the library.

I have to wonder about what my Mom did to get kicked out of the library. I am assuming that it is because they were closing but part of me wonders if she staged a library coup or if she tried smuggling out books without checking them out. I like to think that my Mom might be a bit of a rebel.

Anyway, since the library is thwarting her from catching up on my blog and since I’ve had reports demanded (Hi, Johnny!); I’m going to give you some information about what’s going on in my life.

Random Stuff

I am still sick. Not as sick as I was a few weeks ago but sick enough that I am still coughing and feeling sick to my stomach. Keem has decided my new nickname is Emphysema Girl because I smoke on occasion and she’s convinced that is why I am still sick. I laugh at her theory. Well, I would, if I didn’t cough up a lung (that’s an exaggeration. It’s not that bad).

My hair is getting longer. Not astoundingly long because it is barely touching the back of my neck. Not long enough to actually put into a pony tail or pull back and have it stay in one place. But long enough that it is kind of tousled and wavy and doesn’t drive me absolutely insane with wanting to cut it all off. I think we have made it through the in between stage, folks. Thank God. It does need to be shaped but I can live with it right now. See for yourself.

Self portrait

See!  It's almost bouncy

About Work

My friend Katie, the one that talked me into coming to the Stock Transfer Department, is leaving me. Her last day is on Friday. She says we will still see each other and I should not be sad but I am. Katie (I like to pronounce her name Kay Tee instead of Katie. It is fun. It's how DM should be pronounced, Dee Em, instead of slurred together or, as the mean Keem has done before, pronounced as Dim) is a cross between Keem and myself - practical yet also fun and spontaneous and willing to hug trees. She has a great laugh and I am going to miss her so much and I am kind of crying right now realizing that I will not get to play with her ponytail anymore (it is bouncy and I play with it like a cat would play with bouncy things) or have her walk by my desk and say "Dana" in the dramatic way that my name should be said. Her going away party is on Friday at TreVina at Valentino's which is the big castle building near my work which will be fun because I want to live there (it looks like a castle. I am the self-proclaimed Queen of the Universe. Is this really such a stretch?). If you are in the area on Friday, you should come over there and say goodbye to Katie and comfort me when I start sobbing since she is leaving me.

This is for Katie. She will understand. DON'T GO!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have a new friend! Well, she's been sitting by me for awhile now but I'm really glad that she is there. Her name is Rachel and we email each other back and forth when we are frustrated about our day and our calls. She is getting married and she tells me about her trials and tribulations planning the perfect wedding. And I, proving that I am the perfect friend, laugh at her. Well, come on. She wants shoes that cost $600! She's not going to buy them but still...are they gold plated shoes? No? Then what is the point? Rachel has expensive tastes. I do not. The most money I ever spent on shoes was $40 and that was way too much.

As a joke, I told her and her mother (her mom also works with us) that, if I ever get married, I would either get married by Elvis (impersonator, people) or Bryan (who is an atheist minister). When I mentioned this to Beth once, I asked her which she thought would freak out Mom the most. Beth's response was "How about an atheist minister dressed up as Elvis?" If Bryan would do it, that would be the coolest wedding ever, don't you think? And no, I'm not planning on getting married anytime soon, Mom. Don't freak out yet. Reserve that for my wedding. Which, honestly, the way my romantic life is going, probably won't be for another 20 years. If ever.

About Karaoke

I had a really, really, really great time at karaoke on Sunday. This is not surprising, I usually do, but it was a nice evening. I got to complain about the whole Harry Potter thing to Bryan because, even though he is not reading the books, he has seen the movies and has listened to Liz talk about them. He has an interesting theory about what happened and I am quite intrigued and now waiting eagerly for the last book.

Andrew was not at karaoke. This is quite sad. Andrew is a lot of fun to talk to and, well, kind of mock, because he reminds me of my little brother. Oh, wait; I don’t have a little brother. But if I did have one, I think he would be like Andrew. Here is a picture of Andrew.

Andrew again

Beth and I were making him pose. It was fun. It's nice to have a friend who will let you take pictures of them for no reason. Unlike other people who will take pictures of you and then hide behind the karaoke monitor when you try to take their picture.

Bobby used the phrase “his baby’s mama” and I pleaded with him to never call Tia that or I would have to hurt him (Tia is his girlfriend and I think I’ve mentioned that she is pregnant and actually due very soon. We (Beth and I) are excited about this and have insisted that he bring pictures and we may have suggested that he scrapbook the blessed event. I think he laughed at us (this may have actually been me, I don’t remember)).

There was a Gil (guy I like) sighting, as you may have determined by reading my 104 things (103 & 104), but I must be very sneaky about this because it was mentioned that Dean would be reading Beth’s blog and wanted a mention. Since Dean is a Chalet regular and has read my blog before (even though he did not leave comments, dang him. Sure, leave comments for Beth. That’s just well and good. Obviously you like her better than me), I cannot reveal anything that might give too much away as to Gil’s secret identity. So I must deprive you of the fascinating comedy that is my life. I’m sorry but I have to have some secrets. Which, by the way, is what the title of this post was going to be about if I could find a good secrets related song but I can’t and my co-workers are not being helpful.

There was a fun “What is your favorite movie” conversation between James, Beth, Dean and myself. Now, I don’t typically say what my favorite movie is because I love a lot of movies, normally I will say I have a favorite movie for different genres. I was, however, forced by James to say what my absolute favorite movie is and, when cornered, said the first thing that came to my head. Dear Internet, I’ll tell you as well. My favorite movie is “So I Married An Axe Murderer” with Mike Myers and Nancy Travis. I love this movie. How can you not? It is hilarious and romantic and suspenseful and, well, quite perfect. I was amused and jealous when James told me he has the banner from this movie over his bed.

Just for fun, I give you one of my favorite quotes from this movie – I should mention that Mike Myers character is a coffee house poet with a slight fear of commitment. This is from when he is trying to get Harriet (Nancy Travis) back after breaking up with her.

Harriet. Harry-ette. Hard-hearted harbinger of haggis.
Beautiful, bemused, bellicose butcher.
Un-trust... ing. Un-know... ing. Un-love... ed?
“He wants you back,” he screamed into the night air like a firefighter going to a window that has no fire... except the passion of his heart. *
I am lonely. It's really hard. This poem... sucks.

*This is my favorite line.

We also talked about music. The conversation turned towards Aimee Mann (which led into movies because I am supposed to see “Magnolia” since she did the entire soundtrack. The fact that I hate Tom Cruise was disregarded because, apparently, this movie is so good I will not even notice his presence). I liked Aimee Mann from ‘Til Tuesday, of course, but rediscovered her by watching a Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode. Dean also remembers that episode (it’s a good one) where Spike and some vampire chick are fighting and he stakes her on the stage. When Aimee Mann is leaving the club later, she says to someone else “I hate playing vampire towns.” The song she sings, the song that rekindled my interest in her music, is called Pavlov’s Bell. Eureka! We have a title (lyrics at the bottom of the post, as usual)!

I love Sundays incredibly so and hate when they come to an end. Sometimes I really wish I didn’t work Monday through Friday. I could easily spend hours talking about movies and music and comic books and books and everything like that. But no, I have to be responsible and work. Dang it. Liz and I also had a discussion about being the responsible one and the one that management relies on to cover other people that call in sick but when you call in sick, they don’t believe you. This just happened to her and I’ve had a few jobs that I ended up quitting because of it. I might just post about it some day.

Monday’s Adventure

That is going to be a post all by itself. Highlights:
1. Beth and I went to the theater that James manages to see “March of the Penguins,” narrated by Morgan Freeman. I sincerely recommend that you see this movie. It was fantastic. I laughed, I cried, I laughed some more.
2. James let us view the movie for free. This was very sweet of him, unless you consider that he threatened to kill us if we tried to pay for the movie. I wanted to thank him when we were leaving but he had already left for the day. I’ll be sure to thank him either on Thursday or Sunday because this was a wonderful experience.
3. I cried during the preview to “Dreamer,” new movie with Kurt Russell and Dakota Fanning. Beth laughed at me because apparently I didn’t just cry, I sobbed. While I usually cry at previews the sobbing seems to happen when horses are involved. Can I help that I’m sensitive?

Work Again

I have realized that I know a lot more about comic books, etc. than I thought. Matt (the boss) and I had a 15 minute discussion about the "Fantastic Four" movie and whether it would be any good. I have a problem about the fact that Jessica Alba is playing Sue Storm, she should be in her late twenties, early thirties. Then we started talking about the X-Men and how disappointed we were that Beast wasn't in the 2nd movie but he might be in the 3rd and how Rogue was too young and was supposed to get involved with Gambit, not Ice Man, etc. And it dawned on me that, y'know, I'm really kind of a big geek. In fact, if you asked me to right now, I'd probably still remember how to play Magic.

Anyway, that's been my weekend. Kind of trivial but always exciting. Since it's me, after all. Hope you all had a great weekend as well. Tomorrow I will be meeting Beth at the Chalet for another night of karaoke. She doesn't get off work until 11:30 but it will still be fun to spend some time with her. Key, one of the non-singing regulars, has indicated that we need to play darts again so hopefully he will be there.

And I know you've been avidly waiting for the lyrics to Pavlov's Bell, so here you go. And it does kind of work with the theme of secrets since "We can't talk about it."

Pavlov's Bell - Aimee Mann

Oh Mario, sit here by the window
Stay here till we reach Idaho
And when we go, hold my hand on take off
Tell me what I already know
That we can't talk about it
No, we can't talk about it

Because nobody knows that's how I nearly fell
Trading clothes and ringing Pavlov's bell
History shows there's not a chance in hell

But, oh, Mario, we're only to Ohio
It's kind of getting harder to breathe
I won't let it show, I'm all about denial
But can't deny all that needs belief
That we could talk about it
But we can't talk about it

Because nobody knows that's how I nearly fell
Trading clothes and ringing Pavlov's bell
History shows, but rarely shows it well
Well well well

Oh Mario, why if this is nothing
I'm finding it so hard to dismiss
If you're what I need then only you can save me
So come on baby give me the fix
And let's just talk about it
I've got to talk about it

Because nobody knows that's how I nearly fell
Trading clothes and ringing Pavlov's bell
History shows, like it will show and tell
So tell me

That's how I nearly fell
By ringing Pavlov's bell
So baby show and tell

Oh Mario, Mario

Monday, July 25, 2005

100 Things (More Or Less) That You May Or May Not Know About Me

Beth and Johnny did this before me and they are very funny so you should go read them now. Or maybe you already did. I don't know. Nobody tells me anything.

Hey, it is finally done. Can you believe it? I can't! It took me, what? A good 3 months? This is awful for someone who loves to be the center of attention.

  1. My name is Dana Marie Vittum.
  2. If you know a Vittum, they are related to me. Somehow.
  3. In 1922, Edmund March Vittum published a book called "The Vittum Folks."
  4. His name is very interesting to me.
  5. My cat's name is Edmund "Eddy" Fitzgerald Orange Vittum. Edmund is one of my favorite male names.
  6. I was born in March. March 11, 1967. I'm 38. Woo-hoo.
  7. Anyway, the book was published 2 years before my dad was born. His name was Robert Earle Vittum and he was born on May 10, 1924. My mom's name is Carol Ann Vittum (nee Kaufhold) and she was born on August 22. I am not allowed to post the year she was born. She will hurt me.
  8. From the time I was 18 until the time I was 26, my mother lied about my age. I would meet people and they would express surprise that I was only 18. Where I would then reply, "I'm not 18, I'm 23 (or whatever my age was at the time)."
  9. My mother has the endearing habit of calling me on my birthday and singing to me and asking "How can I have a daughter that is 38 (or whatever my age is at the time)?" When I say endearing, I really mean kind of annoying.
  10. I have been single for over 8 years. And when I say single, I really mean celibate. Joy.
  11. I love to read. If reading was a guy, I would marry him.
  12. I like to write but I'm not very disciplined. I've been working on this list since April 9th & I've trashed it twice.
  13. I really like to make people laugh. That is my goal in life. That and to be admired and adored by millions.
  14. And to also have the love a good man who loves me for who I am.
  15. I do not think that I am overly fussy when it comes to what I'm looking for in a man - I am looking for someone who is intelligent (but not arrogant. I hate arrogance), has a good sense of humor, either likes to sing or will tolerate karaoke, enjoys reading, music and movies. Most important, he must like my friends and my friends must like him. Looks, race, creed, religion - none of these things are that important. However, the most important requirement is that he not hit people over the head with beer bottles.
  16. I really think thunder and lightning storms are cool.
  17. I am quite fond of rain.
  18. I am terrified of heights, spiral staircases, escalators and elevators.
  19. I live on the 26th floor of a 32nd story building.
  20. I have learned to deal with heights and elevators now. Still terrified of escalators but it's getting better.
  21. I hate cleaning. It bores me. I do not like to be bored.
  22. I do not do my own laundry. I pay Keem to do it for me. I am trying to talk her into cleaning my room but it is slow going. She is stubborn.
  23. I am lucky enough to have two really great female friends - Beth and Keem. I adore them.
  24. I have another really great female friend, Johnny, but she is far away and I miss her.
  25. I am not a very social person.
  26. No, I'm serious. I really don't like people. Well, that's not true, exactly. I do like people but I like them in small doses. And I really prefer talking to people online or through blogging then face to face. Beth and Keem are usually pretty good about getting me to get over that anti-social hermit phase I try to go through every once in awhile.
  27. And yet I am extremely extroverted.
  28. I think it's because I like to be the center of attention.
  29. I am the self-proclaimed Queen of the Universe.
  30. No, I do not really think I am the Queen of the Universe.
  31. I may be crazy but I'm not Prozac crazy (no offense to anyone that actually takes Prozac, this expression came from a discussion Beth and I had about how Phil Hartman should have married me and maybe he would still be alive. Not that Phil Hartman and I ever met but dammit, he would have adored me as much as I adored him).
  32. Nope. I'm Effexor crazy.
  33. Happy pills are our friends.
  34. I was in a lot of plays in high school and at my church. I loved acting. It was wonderful.
  35. I was not leading lady material. I always got the character parts.
  36. I played Snoopy in "You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown."
  37. I was Miss Hatchett in "Stout-Hearted Men." She hated men. This was so not type-casting. I really like melodramas. They are very fun.
  38. On our read-through for "Stout-Hearted Men," Miss Hatchett says to the pretty young Melody Trueheart "Eschew the company of men for they are the minions of Satan." Except that I read it out loud as "Eschew the company of men for they are the minions of Satin." As you can imagine, there was a great amount of laughter. My favorite teacher ever, Miss "L" said to me sardonically "Yes, Dana, they like Satin as well. But the word is Satan."
  39. I really like saying the word "eschew." It is fun to say. So is "thwart," "thwack" and "segue."
  40. One of the reasons I love karaoke as much as I do is because it reminds me of being on stage (we go to karaoke at The Chalet and there is an actual stage. Not very high or wide but still...) and I have really good memories about that. Plus I really like to sing.
  41. Right now, as I am writing this, it is raining and thundering and lightning(ing) and I know I should turn off the computer but dammit, isn't that what the surge protector is for?
  42. I really love thunder and lightning storms. Living on the 26th floor, we get a great view of them and it's fun to turn off the lights and watch. We also get a great view of fireworks and the first year we moved in (on the 4th of July), we watched the fireworks from six areas around the city from the comfort of our living room.
  43. We can also do a traffic report from our living room - you can see 3 of the major highways in the Saint Paul area (or maybe 2 or 4, I can't remember).
  44. I do not want a baby. Ever.
  45. A lot of people freak out when I tell them that. I get the "Are you an escaped prison freak" look and will get the "Oh, it's different when it's your own child" lecture. Huh. Tons of kids in the world that don't have homes and I should bring another one into the world. If I really decide that I want a child, I'll adopt.
  46. Although occasionally I do have "Oh, cute baby" moments and think that it might not be so bad and then my sister tells me about my nephew peeing on her or I see some screaming child at the store (I try to be tolerant because I realize, especially after reading some of the blogs that I do, that these children may not be misbehaved but suffering from sensory overload or autism and may not be able to help themselves) or remember the risks for women over 35 to have children and then I usually come to my senses.
  47. This does not mean that I hate babies or people that have babies. And if I mention to my sister that I don't like children, I get a lecture about how I have to like children because my nephew is a child and don't I love him? I try to avoid that lecture.
  48. You know how there are cat people and dog people? I think there are also baby people as well. I'm just not a baby person.
  49. I am mainly a cat person but I do like dogs. I can't stand the little yappy dogs, I like Labs and Retrievers and whatever the heck Papoila is because she is the best dog ever. Although I did have a Cocker Spaniel once and he was a great dog.
  50. It is still lightning(ing). And it's crazy. There's a flash like every two seconds and I haven't heard any thunder. Totally cool looking.
  51. Hmm. What else is there about me? God, I can't be stuck at 50. This is so pathetic.
  52. Well, I was stuck. It's now, oh, 3 weeks later. Let's try this again.
  53. Hey! Look! My website is 69% good. So much for Bryan telling me that I was evil!
  54. This site is certified 69% GOOD by the Gematriculator
  55. I still have not received my Harry Potter book but Data lent me his. I am finding it amusing that I am reading Data's book and using my Data book mark. Have I mentioned that Data was my favorite Star Trek: TNG character?
  56. I used to talk to clocks. I thought of this today when reading a post Mark wrote.
  57. This was when I was a teenager and my psychologist thought I might be schizophrenic.
  58. I also overheard some Japanese bugs plan on destroying all of our plant life as revenge for Hiroshima.
  59. Honestly, at this point, I don't know if I made that all up because I wanted attention or if I was border-line schizophrenic. That's a scary thought.
  60. My favorite animals are pandas.
  61. I have collected pandas since I was 7 when I received a stuffed panda from my grandmother for Christmas. I still have him but I can't sleep with him anymore.
  62. The reason is not because I outgrew sleeping with a stuffed animal. It is because I once decided to wash him and he didn't dry completely because I took him out of the washing machine because I was a) afraid someone would steal him and b) unable to sleep without out him. We think that his stuffing may be a bit moldy and I am allergic to mold. I would like to have him restuffed.
  63. I also like hippos and sleep with a stuffed hippo. I do not collect hippos, however.
  64. I have several collections. I am trying to purchase every book Nora Roberts and Jennifer Cruisie ever wrote, I have a frog (green ducky) collection at work, I like the occasional cat sculpture, I also collect green glass and A&W memorabilia.
  65. Hmm, this may be why my room is such a disaster.
  66. I hate Tom Cruise. I have hated him ever since Goose died in Top Gun.
  67. Yes, I realize that this is completely irrational but still...I thought Goose was such a better person and poor Meg Ryan was so devastated.
  68. The reason I feel so strongly about this is because I had a friend who dragged me to see Top Gun fifteen frickin' times.
  69. It got to the point that I would walk out of the theater rather than see Goose die.
  70. I would hang out in the lobby and talk to the theater staff. Once they let me watch the vomit scene in Stand By Me. It was pretty gross and funny at the same time.
  71. I do not like tomatoes. This drives my mother crazy. Apparently, since I ate tomatoes until I was 5, that should mean that I would like tomatoes forever. I have explained that 33 years of tomato hating certainly outweighs the temporary insanity of my youth.
  72. I counter with the fact that I will eat almost any vegetable known to man (including brussel sprouts and asparagus) but this is not good enough. I should eat tomatoes.
  73. I do not like red, yellow, green and orange peppers. While they are quite pretty and like a stop sign (except for the orange), I do not like them one bit. Although I do like stuffed green peppers which makes absolutely no sense at all.
  74. My favorite color is purple. My favorite colors to wear are orange and red with black.
  75. My favorite holiday is Halloween because of the orange and black and it is fun and kind of scary and people give you chocolate. Plus you get to dress up and pretend to be someone else.
  76. My second favorite holiday is Ground Hog's Day.
  77. Yes, I am just kidding. It's Christmas.
  78. I absolutely adore liver and onions.
  79. My favorite Dr. Seuss book is The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins. I'm not really sure why except that I like hats.
  80. My favorite Stephen King book is The Stand. There is a scene in there that reminds me of The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins. In case you were wondering why I put these together. My mind is not that random.
  81. I love chocolate. But usually only milk chocolate.
  82. Raspberries are evil. Do not let anyone tell you differently.
  83. I am allergic to mold.
  84. I am also allergic to penicillin.
  85. I had a dentist prescribe me penicillin once.
  86. What was odd about this is that he asked me if I was allergic to anything before he made the prescription out. I also told the hygenist this and wrote it on the stupid form. Obviously he was trying to kill me.
  87. I do not like dentists and have said I would rather have a pap smear every single day than have some guy poke around at my teeth.
  88. There are three important things that I could not live with (other than food and water and sleep): friendship, music and reading.
  89. I drink at least 8 glasses of water a day. What amazes me about this is that about five months ago, I thought I would never be able to do this. Now I don't even like the taste of pop that much.
  90. I like being awake in the middle of the night and looking at the city lights.
  91. I really would like to kiss someone in the rain.
  92. I rented Hellboy last month and thought the most romantic part was when Liz Sherman (Selma Blair) kissed Hellboy (Ron Perlman) and burst into flames and they were kissing in the flames (Hellboy is immune to fire, her super power was fire). Not that I really want to set anyone on fire while we're kissing but still...could you think of a better matched couple? I didn't think so.
  93. My favorite super hero is Batman because he doesn't have super powers and uses his brain and really cool gadgets.
  94. Adam West is and always will be my favorite Batman.
  95. I like trees.
  96. Tree hugging is something I highly recommend to everyone. It is very relaxing.
  97. I also like birds. They hop. Have you ever noticed that?
  98. When Keem and I go to the Chinese buffet, I try to pet the fish in the koi pond. Keem yells at me. I don't understand why.
  99. I hopped in puddles yesterday. It was fun.
  100. When I was active in a church, I went to Sunday School (adult Sunday School). One day we had a discussion about this bible verse from Matthew 18:3-4. "And he said, 'I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.'" The guy leading the class (his name was Dann. Yes, with two N's. How pretentious is that?) goes on about how he doesn't get this passage and how impossible it is for him to be like a child because he's got a mortgage to worry about and blah, blah, blah. I looked at him dumbfounded and said "Dann (choking a bit on the stupidness of the two N's), are you serious? You seriously don't get this?" He says no. I go on to say "Children believe in what they can't see. They have enthusiasm about everything. Even when there are things I have to worry about, I still enjoy my life with a child-like enthusiasm. I get excited over the simplest things. And I give thanks for that."
  101. Because of this verse and my interpretation of what it means, I hop in puddles and hug trees and squeal excitedly when I see birds. I look at clouds and try to find shapes and faces in them. I have fun every single day. And I give thanks for this enjoyment and this world and my life. Especially now that I'm on the happy pills.
  102. I can't believe I finally finished this. Yay!
  103. You know that you are in serious trouble when you smell the guy you like and he smells like beer and it kind of turns you on a little bit. Because on every other guy, that would make your stomach completely rebel but in his case, your stomach does the whole butterfly flipping over thing and you seriously want to lick his neck and people start goading you to do it because they want to see what his reaction would be. That is wrong, people! Stop encouraging me.
  104. Do you know how long it has been since I have accidentally brushed up against a guy and had that little thrill moment? Do you know what I mean? That moment when you can feel goose bumps pop up on your skin and your stomach turns over in a good, excitement kind of way (not the I'm going to throw up now way) and you really think that if he would just kiss you right now you could die happy. Or am I just babbling? I'm probably just babbling. Ignore me.

Sunday, July 24, 2005

By the way

The Bring Johnny to Minnesota fund is up to $83.23. Since the state fair starts next month, I don't think we're going to earn enough to bring her here this year. But next year? It could happen.

Thanks for clicking, guys!

A Exercise In Frustration

Today has not been the best day for me. Nothing seriously wrong happened, don't get me wrong, but it just seems that there is a cosmic joker out there who thought it might be fun to mess with me a little.

I still have not yet received my Harry Potter book but a co-worker lent me his. So frustration #1 has been countered, it is just still kind of bothering me that I haven't received the book. It is not flea's fault, she had problems with the publisher, and I know I will soon get it but I want the damn book! Because then it is really mine, you know what I mean? Probably not. A lot of people do not understand my book fixtation and why it isn't enough to just read the books, I have to own them as well.

Keem and I decided to go and see a double feature today. The movies we chose were Fantastic Four and The Wedding Crashers. I'd love to be able to tell you that these were the best movies ever but I can't. Not because I didn't like them but because we didn't get to see them. About 3rd preview in at Fantastic Four, the screen went black and the emergency lights came on. There was a storm this morning and the power decided to go out. After a good 30 minutes of waiting and reading my back-up book (Keem didn't bring her Harry Potter book so the only way I could convince her that we should read while we waited was to let her read the Potter one), the theater management said that it would probably be about another hour or so and we decided to get refund tickets.

After getting home, I decided to read. Here is where frustration #3 comes into play. I finished the book. I'm not going to say what happened, in case someone stumbles across my blog and hasn't finished it yet. I will say this, however. For the first time in my life, I really understand Annie Wilkes' motivation in Stephen King's Misery. I'm not saying I'm going to kidnap JK Rowling and keep her prisoner and chop her foot off but if ever I would want a rewrite of a book in my entire reading career, this would be it. Why? Why? Why? I understand that sometimes characters just take on a life of their own and do what they want and maybe she didn't want the book to end this way but dammit, I am seriously depressed about this. Maybe depressed isn't the right word but I'm not happy about the ending and having to wait however long until she finishes the last book.

Anyway, after finishing the book, I decided to take a nap. Said nap took place from 4 PM to 1 AM. Apparently I was tired.

At least tomorrow is karaoke and I will be able to see Beth and discuss the HP book with Liz. That helps a little. And if the cosmic joker would like to stop messing with my life and give Gil a little nudge to help him realize that I am The Girl, that would help a heck of a lot more!

Monday, July 18, 2005

Wicked Game

I've decided to put the Princess Paisley post on What is the Meaning of Life. Part one is there. Enjoy. It is bizarre and, at the time I wrote it, I pretty much had no respect for men. That has changed a lot so I apologize for the occasional slight towards men. Please forgive me.

It was an interesting weekend for me. I am still sick. I hate being sick. I know that there aren't many people in the world that say "Ooh, yay, I'm sick today. How exciting!" but I'm just letting you know that I am not one who deals with illness well. I whine, I tell Keem I am dying (which drives her crazy) and I am, in general, fairly annoying. I am willing to admit this to you, dear Internet, but I will not tell Keem this. That would be wrong.

Anyway, after a horrible day on Friday where I hacked up a lung or two and wanted to crawl under my desk, Keem and I went shopping (because nothing makes you feel better than wandering around Cheap-Marts for an hour or two).

Saturday, Keem and I had planned on going to not one or two but three movies. This did not happen. I still felt fairly awful and my sister wanted me to babysit that night. Which means she was desperate because I have, in all of Josh's short life, been left alone with him once. Apparently I am not overly trustworthy. It may have something to do with the fact that I have frequently said I do not understand small children and they kind of freak me out.

Anyway, Keem and I went to see one movie instead, Bewitched. It was cute. I am not going to say that it was the best movie ever because it wasn't but I did enjoy it. Will Ferrell was very funny (as usual) and Nicole Kidman didn't ruin it for me. I'm not overly fond of Nicole Kidman. I'm not sure why but the only two movies that she has been in that I've enjoyed was Practical Magic and Bewitched. And in each of these movies, she reminded me of Meg Ryan (Don't ask me why. But Beth agrees with this. She may have been just nodding her head rapidly to humor me because she thinks I'm crazy but that's not the point).

Then we went grocery shopping which is ever so exciting. Road Rage Keem paid a short visit. Keem was going to pull into a parking spot and there was this guy standing in the middle of the spot, leaning into the driver's window of a car next to the spot. Keem patiently waited for a minute while this guy continued to gab with the driver of the car. Keep in mind that this is a Saturday and it is over 100 degrees in Minnesota with humidity and crankiness abounding. There are very few spots near the grocery store.

The guy shows no sign of moving himself from the parking spot so Keem honked her horn. The guy looks at her and, I swear to you, motions to the other spots in the parking lot, as if to say, "Why do you need to park here, crazy lady? Look at all of the other spots where you can park." Yeah, this is all well and good but these spots are nowhere near the grocery store.

Keem honks her horn again, the road rage simmering in her eyes. I am quite frightened (okay, not really). The guy finally moves, opens the door and the driver gets out of the car. Then she walks very slowly to the passenger side of the car and gets in. The guy gets into the driver side.

Okay, what? You are riding in the same car together and you had to take up two parking spots to have a conversation when you could have easily done this in the car? That is just rude.

We finally end up parking and walk into the store where I am told specifically that I may have my own cart IF I stay near Keem and do not wander off. I often think that Keem will make a very good mother because of all the practice she has had with me. I do manage to obey the directions and stay near Keem for the majority of our shopping trip. Which, honestly, I think that is more important than the fact that I wandered off once or twice. Or three or four times. But still, it's not like she had to look for me that much.

Kari ended up not needing me to babysit so I took a nap and then it was time to go to Beth's and scrapbook. I am still working on my scrapbooking album from Beth and my trip to Vegas in 2004. Really the only thing I have left for it is our visit to the Luxor museum and then a few casino pages but I am so bored with it and want to work on my Portugal trip. So I am just sort of slapping the pages together haphazardly and not putting a lot of style and design into them.

Beth and I had fun, however, listening to music on iTunes and having discussions regarding karaoke, Life, work and, of course, the topic turned to Gil (code for Guy I like). iTunes started playing a song I occasionally sang at karaoke, "Kryptonite" by 3 Doors Down. I don't know if you know this but I like Super Heroes. So this song, which is written as though it is being sung by Superman, is a favorite of mine. Shortly after this, "83" by John Mayer began to play. It is while I am singing along with him that I realize what I am singing..."and these days, I wish I was 6 again. Oh make me a red cape. I wanna be Superman." Great.

I look at Beth and said something about the fact that these songs are about Superman and that it's kind of funny because I like a guy who is really into comic books. Beth laughs and says:

B: It's a sign, Dana. Gil is the one. iTunes does not lie.

Then we giggle because yeah, we are joking and there is no sign that he is The Guy other than the fact that he's a total Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Comic Book and Movie geek and I, for some reason, find that sexy. Probably because I'm a geek as well. Sigh.

Anyway, Sunday Beth and I went to see "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" and it was fabulous. Have you seen it yet? Why not? Go! Go now! It was spectacular and I adored it and I don't think it detracted from the original in any way and it makes me want to read the book all over again. Johnny Depp was fabulous.

We had wanted to go to the 5:15 movie but it was sold out so, after a good lunch at Jimmy John's and dessert at Cold Stone Creamery (where I finally witnessed the horrible singing that flea blogged about (great post. If you've never read flea, this is the one to start)), we went to the 7 something showing. And we were not late for karaoke! We had been worried about it but no, we made it on time.

I did not drink this weekend so there was not the random saying of "Hi" or exchange of secrets that would later come back to haunt me. However, I did have a nice conversation with Barry about his hair (he is using product and is also wearing his glasses again and looks quite nice), talked to Liz about Harry Potter, enjoyed discussing the merits of "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" with Beth, Liz and James and got to say goodbye to Tom because he is leaving us to go to Texas and go to school for the military (and I know what branch it is and I can't remember. Why is this so difficult? Air Force, I think?).

The last song of the evening was performed by James. James does not normally sing but, after much pressure by Bryan and the rest of us, he was talked into going up on stage. He started singing some song I have never heard of - "7 Nation Army." But, during the song, he made the mistake of cursing Bryan (the word used rhymes with sucker) and so Bryan stopped the song and changed it to "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor. This is a song I will not sing because it is too high for me. James, however, did a pretty good job with it. I was fairly amazed at how well he did considering he's so stubborn about singing. At the end of his performance, the audience shouted for James to take off his pants and he did. Karaoke gone wild indeed.

All in all, it was a good night. Topped by the appearance of Gil during my singing "Wicked Game" by Chris Isaak, just when I reached the chorus (I've included the lyrics at the bottom) with the plaintive cry of "I don't want to fall in love with you." This is not a sign! There is no love. There is only like. And all I have to say, "Music, stop messing with my mind."

The world was on fire
No one could save me but you.
Strange what desire will make foolish people do
I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you
And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you

No, I don't want to fall in love
[This love is only gonna break your heart]
No, I don't want to fall in love
[This love is only gonna break your heart]
With you
With you

What a wicked game you play
To make me feel this way
What a wicked thing to do
To let me dream of you
What a wicked thing to say
You never felt this way
What a wicked thing to do
To make me dream of you
And I don't wanna fall in love
[This love is only gonna break your heart]
And I don't want to fall in love
[This love is only gonna break your heart]

The world was on fire and
No one could save me but you
Strange what desire will make foolish people do
I never dreamed that I'd love somebody like you
I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you

No I don't wanna fall in love
[This love is only gonna break your heart
No I don't wanna fall in love
[This love is only gonna break your heart]
With you
With you

Nobody loves no one

Thursday, July 14, 2005

One way to get a reputation

Today Matt (co-worker Matt, not Matt the boss or Matt my friend. I know too many dang Matts) handed me an article he had printed from the Star Tribune's website and said "Here, Dana, you need to watch out for this."

I look down and see that he has highlighted the words "molestation of vegetation."

My response? "Is this what you're worried will happen to me if I keep hugging trees?"

We wonder if you have to register as a licensed vegetation offender.

The article, by the way, (linked here) is about a man who decided to cut trees down in order to gain a better view of the lake near his property. Not about charmingly askew tree huggers like me. But it was still fun (okay, maybe not so much for the trees but still).

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Edmund Wayde the 2nd

Okay, I said yesterday in my post that I would explain why my nickname in high school was Edmund Wayde the 2nd. Except that when I wrote it out, I would always write Edmund Wayde the II. This backfired when I wrote it for the yearbook my senior year. I kept having people come up and ask me why I was Edmund Wayde the 11 (because my Roman numerals didn’t look right when I wrote it. Which is not surprising because I routinely cannot tell the difference between my 5’s and 8’s. Or 5’s and S’s. Can we just say that my handwriting isn’t that great?).

I think my scanner works now so if I can find my senior yearbook, I will scan my picture and you can see the excitingness that was my life in 1985. And how my hair wasn’t so much as big as kind of fluffy.

I was kind of a nerd in high school. While I wasn’t popular by any stretch of the imagination, I was on the yearbook and newspaper staff so I knew pretty much who everyone was. It was normal to find me walking down the hallways, devouring a book. People learned to walk around me because I did not pay attention to where I was going that often. I did walk into the occasional wall.

Anyway, the nickname came from the fact that I adored the song "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" and also there was this really, really hot guy who worked at Donatelli's in Mahtomedi named Wayde. Wayde was gorgeous. Blond and dangerous-looking and I'm going to laugh myself hysterical in a moment but as I am remembering him, I think he kind of looked like George Michael. God, I hope that's wrong and just my really bad memory thinking "Hmm. Blond, dangerous-looking. Well, that's got to be George Michael with stubble." Not that George Michael isn't hot, don't get me wrong, it's just that I saw a video of him with Wham! while Beth and I were at the Hard Rock cafe and he was wearing the most ridiculous outfit and I turned to Beth and said "How did we (we meaning America in the Eighties) not know he was gay?" Because in the Eighties, George Michael was the epitome of heterosexual studliness. I'm really thinking that we all did a lot more drugs than we really remember.

Donatelli's was this Italian restaurant that Kathy and Sue and I would go and hang out at on the occasional Friday or Saturday nights. They had a juke box in the corner where I would plug quarters into it to play "Teddy Bear" & "Return to Sender" by Elvis Presley. They had red leather seats that were sumptuous and nice booths and I loved it there. Haven't been back in years. Now I am completely craving a Pepperoni pizza turnover. It was served with dipping sauce and pepperocini peppers that I wasn't allowed to eat because I had an ulcer. But sometimes I would sneak them off the plate and eat them and then Sue would yell at me.

So, anyway, I collected stuffed animals and I had a stuffed parrot collection. I named one of my parrots Edmund Wayde and then Kathy and Sue started calling me Edmund Wayde the 2nd. No, I'm not really sure why. But my nickname for my nickname was Eddy. Which is my cat's nickname now.

There was one time that we had to go and register for classes for our senior year and Sue and I were going to go together and I was told I was not to be late getting to her house at all or I would be in really big trouble (meaning she would leave without me. Which I hated).

I got up early that morning. I was ready to leave at the precise moment I needed to leave at to get to Sue's on time. I was going to show her that I could be on time. I got about halfway to her house when I realized that I had left my registration papers at home. Crap. Well, there's no help for it, I have to turn around and get my papers.

But I can't just tell Sue that I left my papers at home. No, that will never do. I have to be creative. I have to tell her something so I rack my brain as I am walking back to my place and then back to hers. Finally, it hits me!

When I reach her house, I see that she is getting ready to leave without me, as she said she would. I approach her quickly and see that she is tapping her foot, a sure sign of irritation. I quickly tell her that it is not my fault that I am late.

Sue (S): Really? And why is that?
DM: Well, I was walking here and I had all my stuff together and I was completely prepared but then, just minutes away from your house, these three leprechauns kidnapped me because they were convinced that I stole their pot of gold and they forced me to go look for it. I tried to tell them I had to get to your house but they just wouldn't listen to me.

Sue looks at me. I smile charmingly at her, sure that she will believe me.

S: You are such a dork. Get in the car.

No real point to this post except that yeah, I was just as much a dork in 1985 as I am now. Just thought you should know. And Sue, now that I look back, was extremely practical and logical. Just like Beth and Keem.

And you know, I might have had a better chance of convincing her this happened if there wasn't a bar named "The 3 Leprechauns" in Willernie (the neighboring town).

Next to come is a story I wrote many years ago called "The Perils of Princess Paisley." Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Oh and Keem doesn't know where my yearbook is. So I can't scan my picture. And before you ask, why would I know where my yearbook is if Keem doesn't know where it is. I am not the organized person you keep pretending I am. Stop it with all of this pressure. Sheesh.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Starry, Starry Night and lots of stuff about music

Mark wrote a post about how one of his "city" friends was in awe over the sky view recently and he used this title as well (well, except for the lots of stuff about music part). Those of you in the know (I just like that phrase. Don't know why) would be aware that this song is called "Vincent" by Don McLean (yesterday I typed Don McClean and then I giggled because maybe that's what Mr. Clean's real name is. And perhaps I was still a little warm and fuzzy from my alcoholic experience). My favorite line in this song has always been "How you suffered for your sanity." I'm not sure what that says about me. I've always liked this song as well and have provided you with the lyrics at the bottom of the post. Because that's the type of Queen of the Universe that I am. Generous and sharing of lyrics with you. Take a moment to bask in my glory. I'll wait.

Anyway, here is the comment (listed below in a refreshing green color so that you can see that it is a comment and not an brand-new post (hey, if Nora Roberts can use the official Nora Roberts seal to show the difference between brand-new books and previously published books, I can use a different color)) that I left on his blog. I have decided to share it with you as well because it was quite funny and a good example of what Keem and I sound like when we are together. Keem would say it is a good example of what she has to put up with but since she chooses not to read my blog or blog herself, we'll just ignore her.

I've always liked this song even though I'm not a big fan of his artwork (Van Gogh, not McClean (crap. I just realized I typed McClean on Mark's blog. Now he's going to think I'm a total dork (well, if he didn't already)).

Tonight, while driving back from bingo with Keem, I looked up and saw a very bright light in the sky.

"Is that a star or a planet?" I ask Keem.

"It's a plane, Dana."

"No, it's not."

"Yes, it is."

"How can you tell?"

"Oh, I don't know. That fact that it's got a small blinking light off to the side?"

Never argue with a logical person. You will lose. Especially if their eyesight is better than yours!

While I was writing this post yesterday, I was remembering back to my high school years, where my friends Kathy and Sue and I would go to the Ground Round to watch this guy named Ken Wanovich sing and play the guitar. He would also perform at Old Mexico or Chi-Chi's or some Mexican restaurant that I think was outside of the Maplewood Mall. Do I remember? Not very well. I'm not even sure I remember how we knew Ken. I think it was because he knew our choir teacher and may have come to sing for our choir one day.

I did a search for Ken on Google and discovered that he may or may not be a music director at a church in White Bear Lake. I also discovered that I could buy his album at eBay for $2.29 (plus $3.00 for shipping and handling) but I can't do that. Why, you ask? Is it because I feel that this pleasant memory from 1984-1985 isn't worth $5.29? No. That's not it. There are three reasons why I'm not going to purchase this album and here they are:

  1. I do not have a record player (which isn't really that big of a deal because I could actually just pop it into an album frame and hey, happy memory from high school).
  2. I do not have a debit card at this time (but one is in the mail to me).
  3. I do not have $5.29 at this time because my account at NABABNA is overdrawn by over $200 because someone decided "Hey, I need to pay my cable and/or digital phone bill. What better way to do that than to use Dana's debit card number. She won't mind." Well, actually, I do mind. I mind a lot. Sacana! I do have a claim filed and I know that I will get the money back eventually but still, it is really annoying to not be able to hop over to eBay and make a purchase that would bring me some joy. Stupid criminals.

I remember there was one time that he was going to be at the Winona Ground Round and we planned a college visit (do people still do these? You get time off of school (like a Friday) and get to drive to the college and take a tour and they put you up in a dorm room?) to the Winona State University but didn't tell him about it. He was very surprised when we walked in the door. Fortunately he did not have us arrested for stalking.

He used to sing "Vincent" and "Run Around Sue (because Sue's name, of course, is Sue)" and "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald (which was my favorite song for him to sing. I love that song. My nickname in high school was Edmund Wayde the 2nd (long story and since I've already lost this post twice, it'll have to wait) and Eddy (my cat) is partially named after this song)" and some song about Robin and Pooh Corner and I can't remember it very well but I kind of liked it.

Knowing Ken and seeing him perform and having him greet us and sing songs because we requested them always gave me this little kind of thrill. He was a celebrity in my mind. It's kind of like what knowing Bryan is like for me. Although I think of Bryan more as a friend now than someone who is semi-famous.

But! Speaking of music and knowing semi-famous people, I wanted to bring this up. Have you seen the television ads for Rock Star: INXS? Have you watched the show? I have. Do you know why? I mean, yeah, it's about music and I like music but I'm not an overly obsessive reality show fan. Have you guessed? Have you? Yes! That's right! I know someone on the show! Beth and I both know Jordis Unga!

When I say "know" I mean that we saw her at the Chalet one night where she sang "Georgia On My Mind" and completely blew away the entire crowd (Also, on Bryan's DVD, there is a video for her band (actually, I'm not sure if they're still together or not), The Fighting Tongs and they are good. You can see the video at Bryan's site) and then Matt had to sing after her and he was not pleased and called Bryan a bad name and we all laughed. So it's not like I really know her or anything but the connection is enough to make me watch the show when I normally would not.

And you know what? I'm glad I am watching the show. It is different from American Idol (thank you, God) and I've been impressed with the two episodes I've seen so far. I love rock music. And this is definitely rock and roll. No pop, just good classic rock being pumped out into the air and the crowd and through the television. So far I am voting for Jordis, of course, but I'm also rooting for a few other people. Ty, Daphna, Heather, JD and Marty are also really good as well. It's going to be interesting.

So good luck to Jordis. And now that it's 12:30, I seriously need to go to bed. Stupid Nyquil has not yet kicked in and I'm going to be so groggy tomorrow. Night, all!

Vincent - by Don McLean

Starry, starry night.
Paint your palette blue and grey,
Look out on a summer's day,
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul.
Shadows on the hills,
Sketch the trees and the daffodils,
Catch the breeze and the winter chills,
In colors on the snowy linen land.

Now I understand what you tried to say to me,
How you suffered for your sanity,
How you tried to set them free.
They would not listen, they did not know how.
Perhaps they'll listen now.

Starry, starry night.
Flaming flowers that brightly blaze,
Swirling clouds in violet haze,
Reflect in Vincent's eyes of china blue.
Colors changing hue, morning field of amber grain,
Weathered faces lined in pain,
Are soothed beneath the artist's loving hand.

Now I understand what you tried to say to me,
How you suffered for your sanity,
How you tried to set them free.
They would not listen, they did not know how.
Perhaps they'll listen now.

For they could not love you,
But still your love was true.
And when no hope was left in sight
On that starry, starry night,
You took your life, as lovers often do.
But I could have told you, Vincent,
This world was never meant for one
As beautiful as you.

Starry, starry night.
Portraits hung in empty halls,
Frameless head on nameless walls,
With eyes that watch the world and can't forget.
Like the strangers that you've met,
The ragged men in the ragged clothes,
The silver thorn of bloody rose,
Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow.

Now I think I know what you tried to say to me,
How you suffered for your sanity,
How you tried to set them free.
They would not listen, they're not listening still.
Perhaps they never will...

Monday, July 11, 2005

Tick me off

So I did this whole post today and I don't know what it happened to it. I'm so mad. Mad, mad, mad.

It was brilliant and wonderful and you would have wept with tears of laughter. Believe me.

But it's gone now and I don't really remember what I wrote and I didn't save it in Word because I am an idiot. Sob.

Maybe I'll try it again tomorrow.

Oh, last night, there was alcohol. 4 glasses of Barcardi Limon and Diet Coke with lemons. And I, for some odd reason (oh, yeah, because I was drunk) decided to tell Liz about Gil. I not only revealed his secret identity but I also told her that my code name for him is Gil and that it means guy I like. She thinks I'm insane.

Anyway, mainly my drunkness led to me babbling a little bit and smiling a lot and saying "Hi" at random moments and wanting to lick people. Hmm. How is this different from me usually? I'm not sure. Although I do remember feeling warm and fuzzy.

Friday, July 08, 2005

Open mouth. Insert foot.

Remember my boss? Remember how awesome he is? Well, if you don't, he is incredible and very nice and smart and attractive, even though he is quite Spock-like. But he's my boss. So I have refrained from throwing myself at his feet and begging him to marry me but it has been quite difficult (okay, this is an exaggeration. He's a great guy but any unauthorized lust bunnies (couldn't resist) that might go hopping around in my stomach have been smushed down) .

But this week, I may have let it slip that I would, if he wasn't my boss, throw myself at his feet and beg him to marry me. We were discussing music (he is so very cool and has even more music than Beth does and will borrow me CDs from his collection and has gotten me hooked on some guy named the Reverend Horton Heat (odd name, great performer)) when I looked on his desk and saw a sketch book.

DM: Do you sketch?
Matt: Yes.

He picks up the sketch book and hands it to me, remarking that it's mainly doodles. I start flipping through it.

DM: These are good. Is there anything you can't do? You take wonderful pictures, listen to great music...
Matt: Well, I've been having problems finding dating opportunities.
DM: I find that hard to believe. I think you might just be the perfect man.
Matt (laughs): I've almost convinced some women in Japan of that (I don't know. I didn't ask for details. I'm assuming this is something to do with the internet).

I am still flipping through the sketch book.

DM: You know, some of these would make great tattoos.
Matt: I know. I designed all of my tattoos.

Oh, my God. He has tattoos. Tattoos!

DM: How many do you have?
Matt: Five.
DM: You beat me. I only have 3. But I bet I have more piercings than you.
Matt: I'm sure you do. I only have the one and I only got that because of a bet.

It's the very top of his left ear. Which is slightly pointy with him being a Vulcan and all.

We then get into a discussion between the merits of piercing versus tattooing. I explained that the piercings, while I enjoy them, were mainly because of the adrenaline rush I got when I was pierced each time. And that I want more tattoos. And how, once, while waiting with a friend while he was being tattooed, I started jonesing so bad for one myself that I started begging the tattoo artist just to run the needle over my skin. He didn't even have to put ink into it.

I then give the list of my tattoos (I wrote a post with the descriptions of them and also why the picture of the tattoo below is a bone of contention for me. Go read it now. There may be a test). And then, for some reason that is not quite clear, I decided to show him the one on the swell of my left breast. The reason I freaked Beth out one night at karaoke when I asked her to take a picture of my breast and it took her a second to remember that I promised Larry a picture of this tattoo.

Grooey!  Yeah, Babby!

What was I thinking? Why, oh, why, did I feel the need to yank my shirt down in front of my boss? My BOSS! Oh, my God.

I leave his cubicle and go back to mine. Later that day, after he comes over to talk to me about something as Katie, Keem and I are getting ready to leave.

DM: I'm been thinking. I probably shouldn't have told you were the perfect man and then showed you my tattoo. Please don't sue me for sexual harrassment.
Matt (laughs): Wasn't planning on it.
DM: Okay. Just checking.
Keem: Which tattoo did you show him? The misspelled one?
DM: Yes.
Keem: You're such a dork.
DM: Yeah. I know.

Matt then decides to show us one of his tattoos, on the left side of his chest. It is a question mark but I can barely see it. So what do I do? Yeah. I lean forward, hook his shirt with one finger and pull it down so I can see Matt's chest better. Which, if you were wondering, is rather nice.

Anyway, on Friday, when I walk into his cubicle to ask him the burning question of the day (is it against the dress code if I add pink or purple streaks to my hair), he is not there at the moment. I look at his stack of CDs.

What just happens to be there but this CD?


Yes. Etta James. What just happens to be song number 6? Yeah. Freakin' "At Last."

I have mentioned that I think God has a bizarre sense of humor, haven't I? I'm pretty sure I did. First Quagna and now this. Argh! Of course, this time, this guy is a little closer to being The Guy than Quagna was. But he is, of course, completely off limits.*

*Don't worry, folks. I'm not fretting terribly. As I said, Matt is great and a wonderful boss and I really enjoy him as a person. I am not pining away for him. Do I wish I could meet someone like him? Heck, yeah!

Okay. Anyway, I said there might be a test about the post, Tattooed White Trash* and guess what? There is one!

1. How many misspelled words are on this tattoo and what are they?

2. Where does the title Tattooed White Trash* come from?

3. What is my 3rd tattoo?

4. Am I seriously going to make you answer these questions?

The answer to number 4 is no. But for some reason, no one ever commented on Tattooed White Trash* and it feels lonely (or I forgot to copy the comments when I went to haloscan (more likely). So if you could comment on it, that would be lovely. Even if it is just to say hi. And yes, I would like it if you would comment on this post as well.

Hey, it's not like you didn't know that I loved attention.

Anyway, have a great weekend, everyone. Tomorrow (today) there is karaoke which is very exciting since I missed two Sundays in a row. Which is horrible.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Trying to remain calm

On my lunch break, I popped over to flea's blog and found her post about the bombings. I then went to Johnny's blog and found her post. Then, in a moment of panic, I realized that I do know someone who lives in London and swiftly went to Betty's blog. I was relieved to read her post that all of her family is okay and accounted for but she has friends that live in the area. It makes me glad that I blog, I might not have heard of this otherwise for awhile since I don't read or watch the news.

From what I've read, both blog wise and on, is that there were 4 bombs set off in 3 different subway stations and also on a double decker bus. A group known as the "The Secret Organization of al-Qaida in Europe" has claimed responsibility and states this is in protest regarding England's involvement in Iraq and Afghanistan.

This is awful. I am so sorry for those who have been affected by this and hope that the perpetrators are swiftly caught. My prayers will be with the people of London.

If any of you find information on how we can lend our support, please let me know. I would like to link to the sites. Thanks!

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

I visit the Doctor

So you remember when I said I was having a problem with the whole wanting to pass out and stuff and a few people suggested that I should go to the doctor? Well, I went.

As much as I love my doctor, I am annoyed by the fact that she switched offices last year. She used to be located about a 15 minute bus ride from my apartment and on a bus route that had busses going by it every 1/2 hour or so. Now she is located in an office about a 30 minute bus ride but there is a bus that goes by, oh, every 4 hours. If you're lucky.

So, my appointment is at 9:50. I check the handy little bus schedule that I have. Hey! Look at that. In order to get there on time, I have to leave at 7:15. Wow. I am so blessed. Oh, and look. Forget about taking a half day from work. The first bus after my appointment leaves at 2:30. I pack 3 books to get me through the day.

At about 8, the office opens. I go in, settle myself down, see my doctor in the hall, tell her if she's running late (which she usually is), it really doesn't matter to me. We laugh at the horrendous schedule.

9:50 comes. I am called back by a nurse I don't recognize. Hmm. Is Amy not working today? Turns out, after some questioning, that I've been scheduled to visit a different doctor than mine. How did this happen? Well, it appears that they schedule by numbers. My doctor, Deb, is #26. This doctor is #28. How silly.

The nurse leaves and comes back to tell me that Amy will come back when they have a room available. I go back to the waiting room. Where I wait. And wait some more. And start nodding off to sleep and drop my book (number 2, finished the first one at about 11) while people stare at me, all this before Amy finally calls me back at noon.

I did tell Deb about what happened after Beth and I went to Tomah. She agreed with my sister (who has informed me that I can start calling her Doctor Kari since she is always right when she tells me what is wrong with me) that it very likely was an iron deficiency. My hemoglobin is low so apparently that means I'm anemic. May I just say that I've heard the word "anemia" before but never really knew what it meant? Well, now I do know. It means that I get to continue taking the lovely iron pills and maybe eat some liver now and then (which isn't so bad because I like liver but don't like to cook so I'm going to have to talk Keem into going to Embers one of these days)).

I also had some incredibly ugly skin tags removed. I tried to find a good image of this but will leave this to your imagination. A skin tag is a flap of skin, fleshy kind of a mole, that just kind of hangs around and annoys you (Okay, I guess I'll have to post an image I found on the web because that's not a really good description). fig6

Normally, this would not be a big deal for me because I'm not one to obsess about my appearance but they itch. And they get caught on things and rip and then that hurts. So I had 11 of the biggest ones removed. One on my neck, four under my right arm and six on my left. She had to numb them first and that was less than pleasant. She stuck me with some sort of numbing stuff that burned but then numbed the areas because I didn't feel her snip off the tags. I did feel it when she dropped one of them and it rolled down onto my neck. That was kind of weird.

Anyway, I got my prescriptions for the iron pills and my Effexor, I got a six month prescription for Effexor so I don't have to go back to the doctor unless anything major happens. I'm in fairly good health and am not dying anytime soon.

I have to say that I was really glad I didn't have to go back to work on Thursday. Once the numbing stuff wore off, I was in some serious pain (In fact, today is Wednesday, almost a week has gone by, and they still kind of hurt). So, as you can imagine, going to play darts at the Chalet with Beth was not the wisest decision I have ever made. It was great fun and all but about two or three games later I had to sit out. Fortunately I brought a book along (you can never be bored when you have a book) and sat at the bar and read for awhile. I also had fun making fun of infomercials with Devon (non-singing regular) and Beth later on in the evening.

If any of you might be wondering why it took me so dang long to write this post when I went to the doctor on Thursday, I would like to let you know that I was felled by the evil Bronchitis and spent the entire weekend lying on the couch and watching Angel episodes or sleeping or hacking up a lung or throwing up or getting a lecture from Doctor Kari on the evils of smoking (direct quote "Have you heard of emphysema? Imagine having it") even part time like I do. It was a great weekend. Yeah.

I did get to watch fireworks. There are benefits to living in your own personal phobia nightmare by inhabitating the 26th floor of a 32nd floor building (with elevators!). You can sit on the couch in our living room and see the displays from at least 4 or 5 different cities plus a few homes that were shooting off the fireworks as well. It was really beautiful.

Hope you all had a happy and safe 4th of July as well.