Friday, August 31, 2007

Let's recap, shall we? Or Learning Experience 2

Let's talk about my week. It's been fun and exciting, let me tell you.

  • Sunday. Started coughing ferociously in an attempt to either a) remove my lungs of all fluid and imagined fluid (there was drainage from my nose but not enough to make coughing comfortable (not that coughing ever is really comfortable but there's a big difference between a dry cough and a productive cough. Dry coughs hurt more)) or b) my body decided it no longer liked me and was attempting to shake me to death.
  • Also on Sunday/Monday. Reached into my purse to pull out my keys and discovered that my keys and other key (hee. pardon the pun) items were now floating in Apricot syrup. Which is quite yummy but not a good substance to be coating your cell phone and camera and wallet. Fortunately, after much cursing and scrubbing, everything seems to be back to normal (well, other than the purse and any loose bits of paper. oh, and my brush. And the cheap piece of crap amplifier that I bought in an attempt to hear better. 15 bucks and all I got for my trouble was a headache. Sure, it made everything louder but that does not help you much in a bar), albeit a bit sticky still.
  • Tuesday. Found out that I did not get either of the jobs I was incredibly excited about. The reasoning was that there were two people that were more qualified and I can't argue with that. The announcement email that was sent out listed the qualifications and I was impressed.
  • Tuesday. Somehow I got a paper cut on my lip. How does this happen? Fortunately no one was throwing flaming lemons at me (long story. Maybe Beth will post about it).
  • Wednesday. Did not get the MATH job. Didn't care. Really glad that they "chose someone whose experience is more suited to the position." Woo-hoo! Don't have to turn it down. Yay!
  • Thursday. While at work, the area right between the underarm and my back starts itching. On both sides. What the heck is going on? Why am I so itchy? Argh! Fortunately dear sweet Co-worker Jackie comes to my rescue.
  • Thursday night. At the Chalet. Itch. Itch. Itch. Itchy meets Scratchy. Large reddish blotches start appearing on my skin. What are these? Can it be? Yes, it can. Yay! I have hives! Wow. This is so awesome.
  • Still Thursday night. Trying to scratch off all of my skin. Liz asks me if I've changed anything lately.

DM: Ah, yeah. I started using a new laundry detergent.
Liz: I was wondering if that was it. What kind of detergent?
DM: I don’t know. It was $2.50.
Liz: How big of a bottle?
DM: 32 loads of laundry.
Liz: Well, that would do it. $2.50 for 32 loads? What are you allergic to?
DM: Penicillin. Biaxin. Mold. The smell of paint. Apparently cheap laundry detergent.
Liz: Oh, yeah, you’re going to have to wash everything. Your sheets, clothes…
DM: I didn’t wash my sheets this time.
Liz: Oh, good. You can fashion yourself a toga.

Yes, I’m sure that my co-workers would love the sight of me in a toga made of brown sheets with little pink flowers (I love the colors brown and pink together. A few weeks ago, I bought pencils that are brown with little pink skulls. Don’t ask me why. I can’t explain these things) all over them.

Liz also caught me using the bar top to itch my hand.

Liz: Stop itching. Stop it. You'll just make it worse. You're like a cat! We'll buy you one of those cat scratchers.

Beth also caught me using her car door to itch my back.

Somehow I woke up Keem when I got home. Or Eddy did with his excessive need to meow at everything and everyone. Oh, and his need to get into the linen closet at 3 in the morning. The cat's a dork.

DM: Keem! Keem! I am itchy.
K: You're always itchy.
DM: Guess what happened to me. Guess.
K: What now?
DM: Apparently I am allergic to my laundry detergent.
K: You're kidding.
DM: No. Come see. I have hives. I have one the size of a quarter on my leg.
K: Yes, you sure do. And three on your knee.
DM: ARGH!!!!!!

I try to remove all skin from my body.

DM: Why me? Why?
K (trying very hard not to laugh. Failing): I'm sorry. Poor Dana. Well, I'm going back to bed.
DM: No! Itchy! Itchy back! Can't reach! Keem!
K: Keem is tired.
DM: But Keem! Itchy!
K: Poor Itchy Dana. Fine. This is going to be quick.
DM: Ah! Scratch harder! Rip the skin off!
K: Go to bed, you dork.

Thanks to Beth stopping at SA so I could buy Benadryl and the Aveeno ointment Keem gave me, I am less itchy today. I'm rather swollen and red in places but I am armed with a back scratcher, ointment and also my CO Bigelow Witch Hazel skin tonic that oddly seems to help. I'm going to La Crosse this weekend with Keem and I'll be spending some time in the basement rewashing clothes so that should be fun. Not exactly how I envisioned my Labor Day weekend. How about you? What plans do you have?

Yes, yes, go ahead and laugh. I know it's funny. Only me, right?

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Not sulking. Well, not much

In a fit of frustration, I threw the purse away. Yes, I probably could have de-syruped (which is a fun word) but it would have taken too long and I am not known for my patience. Fortunately everything important made it out of the sticky sweet muck without ruin, such as Zoe and my wallet. AND! My blogging notebook had been left at work on Friday so that was awesome realizing I didn't destroy my main lifeline (not that I couldn't get another notebook but this also has all my karaoke songs in it and someday, when the Chalet owners realize that karaoke is important, I will sing again). I dragged out the old standard, my black briefcase. It will work just as well for now.

I am feeling better. Went to bed at 7:30 on Monday night and woke up with a clear head and no coughing at all! Awesome! What a great start to the day.

Until I got the phone call...I applied for two great, I would love to do this for a living, jobs a few weeks ago. I didn't get either one. Again, the only thing that could be said was that the other people had more experience. Which is great, I'm glad that I am such a great candidate and all but can I get more experience if no one will hire me? I still haven't heard anything about the MATH job which is just as well because I would turn it down if it was offered to me. I think I would rather go through 400 tax seasons in a row than deal with math daily.

How did I get a paper cut on my mouth? This makes no sense. It's right on my scar as well so it looks weird and will probably scar even more and then the scar will be more noticable.

Owen Wilson tried to kill himself. I am really hoping that he finds his own happy pills and that things go better for him. He's not my absolutely favorite actor but anytime he is in a movie, he makes me laugh and my heart pitter-pat just a little bit. And I don't even like blonds so you know that's a major accomplishment on his part.

Anyway, to keep up with the randomness, I bring you random bloglines that I've been collecting in a Word document for awhile. Hope you all have a great day.

You Are Surrealism

Dreamy and idealistic, you've created a world that is all your own.
It's very likely that you've either dabbled in drugs or are naturally trippy.
You are always trying to push beyond the boundaries of your culture and society.
You believe that art, love, and freedom can change the world.

Well, yeah. I like the "naturally trippy" part myself.

You Are Midnight

You are more than a little eccentric, and you're apt to keep very unusual habits.
Whether you're a nightowl, living in a commune, or taking a vow of silence - you like to experiment with your lifestyle.
Expressing your individuality is important to you, and you often lie awake in bed thinking about the world and your place in it.
You enjoy staying home, but that doesn't mean you're a hermit. You also appreciate quality time with family and close friends.

Hmm. A little eccentric. That's me. And the hermit thing! Yikes. This is right on.

Your True Love Is a Capricorn

Why you'll love a Capricorn:

Hard working and driven, a Capricorn will work overtime to win your heart.
Be prepared to get wined and dined, even once you're convinced that your Capricorn is the one!

Why a Capricorn will love you:

You don't rush things. You know it will take a while for a Capricorn to trust you, and you can wait.
Social and outgoing, you can introduce normally shy Capricorn to a great circle of friends.

I don't think I've ever even met a Capricorn.

You Are a Carousel

You are young at heart and a truly playful person. No one would ever accuse you of taking life too seriously.
You are definitely in things for the fun. You find joy easily, and you are often building up anticipation for your next adventure.
In relationships, you tend to want to be babied and taken care of.
And while you may be a bit high maintenance, you are incredibly loyal.

Your life is simple and satisfying. Each day you treat yourself to something you enjoy.
You have a lot of emotional attachments, and experiences are extra vivid to you.
You tend to be nostalgic and sentimental. The past is important to you.
Comfortable around all living things, you have a special connection to animals and children.

At your best, you are whimsical, free spirited, and creative.
Even if your schemes seem a bit strange, they usually work out wonderfully.
At your worst, you are spoiled, demanding, and impossible to satisfy.
You've been known to act like a brat if you aren't getting your way!

Sometimes these things scare me with how close they are.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Learning Experience

Last night Beth and I went to Perkins. Fortunately we were Craig Free. As we were leaving the restuarant, I saw a bottle of Apricot Syrup. I absolutely love the syrup on pancakes and waffles so I decided to buy the bottle.

Good idea, right? Sure it was. What was probably not a good idea was putting the bottle in my purse.

You guessed it. At about 2:15 this morning, as I was digging in my purse for my keys, I found them. In the puddle of syrup that was collecting.

I so look forward to the experience of cleaning my purse out after work today. I bet it will be Super Fun! It is the first time I've ever been glad that I didn't have a book with me.

Oh. And I'm getting sick. Life is so good right now. Don't you wish you were me?

Monday, August 20, 2007

How was your weekend?

I have a big, gigantic, huge post that I'm working on about my weekend (which was awesome) but right now I just wanted to let you know something that happened yesterday.

I got hit on. By a guy. By a cute guy who had a sense of humor, all of his teeth and did not appear to be insane, a crack addict or an axe murderer. AND he knew how to give change back properly (putting the change into your hand and then the bills on top of it instead of letting the change slide all of the bills and annoying me immensely). AND he knew how to do math which is very important because I hate math and like it when other people do it for me.

I do not see us having a great and exciting relationship, however. Unfortunately afforementioned hitting on occured on the way home from Waupon. Since the weather was being stupid and there was an even more stupid than the weather person in front of Beth, we pulled off at the Black River Oasis (home of the Orange Moose Bar & Grill!) gas station. This is about 100-150 miles away from my home. I don't drive. I also don't know his name or he mine. So, you know, not much chance there for Twue Wuv.

But I have been sitting here, with our systems down, 12 people holding (it was at 40 one time), dealing with the rain, scratching the 5 million bug bites from yesterday and I have been smiling. Because I got hit on. Amazing what a boost that is to your ego.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Why a spoon, cousin?

What I wouldn't give for a huge, hulking, gigantic man who could squash Craig like the little bug that he is. I could see it now.

Craig: Hi, kids. Can I sit with you?*
HHGM: No. My woman don't like being called kid. You go now. Or HHGM stomp face.
DM: Oh, HHGM, you're so wonderful.

I'm not really sure why I can't fantasize about a HHGM who is also intelligent but hey, at least he's not Craig.

*Actually karaoke is no more on Sundays so you'd think we'd not run into Craig but he seems to be stalking Beth. He has shown up at Fridleykins 3 times. My theory is that he has a GPS tracker on her car.

So my weekend was excellent, actually. Saturday I went shopping with Keem. We went to Catherine's and I bought clothes (yay!). Bath and Body Works where I spent way too much money on hand soap (okay, I bought other things like lip gloss but that is not the point). Joann's where I bought a laminating machine because I have now decided to make bookmarks. Said bookmarks are collage like and are fashioned from magazines. My favorite one so far is the one I made of this girl from a Physician's Formula add where she is hiding her face behind a book because she apparently has broken out. The bookmark now says "Investigate the world. Provide the imagination. Renew your sense of discovery. You. A true story." Would you like a bookmark? I will make you one. Just email me at greenduckiesgirl AT comcast DOT net with your address and the three words you would use to describe yourself and I will come up with a nifty new bookmark just for you! Disclaimer - those three words will probably not end up on your bookmark but it will give me an idea of what would be perfect for you.

I showed Co-worker Eric the bookmarks I had made so far and he said I have weird hobbies and wanted to know just how many books I read at a time.

Co-worker Eric has been amused by me this morning. So far I have sliced my thumb on my scissors while cleaning it (do not clean your scissors by running your thumb down it. It doesn't work. Oh. And Purel hurts when it gets into your cut (because you're using the Purel to clean the scissors because it is pure alcohol and will remove the stickiness from the laminator). Just so you know) and sung different songs because they are stuck in my head.

Here's a sampling...

Islands in the stream. That is what we are. Nowhere inbetween. Blah blah blah. Sail away with me.

Co-worker Eric: Hahahaha. This is gold.

I have also managed to get Sweet City Woman stuck in Keem's head by email (we heard it on Thursday on the way home). She is somewhat annoyed with me. On Saturday, as I was waiting for her to finish purchasing the clothing, I was sitting in a chair and doing a little dance to the song. I was not singing it out loud but apparently she knew what it was because of the dance. Co-worker Eric said it sounds like a dangerous game and he could see us in a gladiator arena with microphones and ukeleles.

Another Co-worker Eric quote.

Co-worker Eric: I blame you for the queue blowing up.
DM: I didn't do it! You did it!
CWE: No. No, I did not. I said "Can you believe it." So I could have been talking about the queue. But the queue didn't know that.
DM: I am so quoting you.

You can never ever say "Hey, there aren't any calls holding" around here. Because if you do, the queue Gods will become angry and smite us with calls. He said "Can you believe it" when there were no calls holding and I said "Don't say it!" because I was in fear of the queue Gods. But then I said "Yeah, this is pretty amazing for a Monday." So it probably is my fault that we're now at 22 calls holding. Not that I care because I am on the help desk until 3 PM today. Hee hee.

Oh. I was talking about my weekend, wasn't I? Beth and I played pool last night. It was fun. I won 3 games by default (she scratched on the 8/9 ball depending on the game that we were playing) and won an actual game by sinking the 9 ball. There may have been a happy dance. And then we went to Fridleykins and drove through the parking lot and convinced ourselves to leave because we didn't want to take the chance of seeing Craig and then we said why are we leaving, this is Beth's Perkins and dammit, it's the best Perkins ever, how dare he drive us away? And then we were happy because he wasn't there.

Guess what. He showed up about a half hour later. He either has a GPS tracking system on her car or there's a curse on his name and when you say it, he shows up. Why no, I've never ever read a Harry Potter book. What do you mean?

Anyway, as you may or may not know, sometimes when I get annoyed, I like to pick up forks and make vague stabbing motions. I did this last night but a quote from a movie ran through my mind.

DM: Why a spoon, cousin?
Beth (laughs because she knows exactly what I am thinking): Because it'll hurt more. I can't believe I got that. I'm not even sure what movie that's from.
DM: Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves. Unlike Robin Hood, Men in Tights "Where, unlike other Robin Hoods, I speak with an English accent." I watch too many movies.


Some odd song has come on the radio. Apparently the music for the evening is Top 40. Now, back in my day, Top 40 was actually fairly decent. But these songs now play on the Oldies Station (which is so depressing) and instead we were stuck with songs that were written by whiny, annoying people who have lost their love (probably because they were whiny and annoying) or people on crack.

Some song comes on that is about feet or losing the love of your life or, quite possibly, a gay man's house (I'm pretty sure that's not the lyric but I have blocked the rest of the song from my mind so I can't look it up).

DM: Who writes this crap? I could do this.
Beth: You should.
DM: Of course, the only song that I've ever written was about "grind you out like a cigarette" and "unlike my cigarettes, you gave me cancer of the soul."
Beth: Okay.
DM: I should give my poems to John and have them set them to music.
Beth: John?
DM: Or Bryan. Bryan would work.
Beth: John?
DM: Your John.*
Beth: Oh! I was trying to figure out what John you know that is musical.

*Her totally awesome employee who calls her and leaves voicemails for her that consist of him playing Stairway to Heaven or Paint it Black and other songs. The man is amazing. I've never actually met him but he's amazing.

Later again...

Craig is leaving.

Craig: Beth, I just wanted to let you know that when you said "Who writes this crap?", that was great.
Beth: I didn't say it.
DM: That was me (I did not add bonehead. I was thinking it but I didn't say it).
Craig: Oh. Well, it was communely funny.
Beth: Uh-huh.
DM: Yeah.
John (Craig's friend who is only easy to deal with because you can talk about boys with him. Anything else and he is a whiny, obnoxious, annoying man who is always complaining about working in a convenience store and the dregs of society that he runs into): I got accused of stealing change.
DM: What? That's stupid. Why would you steal change?
John: Blah, blah, blah, the world is out to get me, blah, blah, I am truly annoying, blah.
DM: Uh-huh. See you.

Beth and I then spent the rest of our time at Perkins bemoaning the fact that Craig and John have taken our wonderful home away from home (well, more Beth's because I don't get out there that often) and seem to have invaded it and why, why, why is he stalking her and his last name is what you do when you're bored (Yawn (it's hopefully spelled differently than that but hey, it is true. You yawn when you're bored and you're usually bored when he is around)) and my God, could he be anymore annoying? And then we stopped talking about him and continued playing Liverpool Rummy which is either the coolest game in the world or the most annoying, depending on if you are stuck with a set of 6 8's and need a run of 6 and a set of 3.

So it was a good weekend. Next weekend Beth and I are going to Wisconsin because they're having an inpromtu family reunion and I am tagging along for the ride (and the steaks and garblic bread). It'll be fun. Hope you had a good weekend as well.

Oh, and I have to add this because of Joe. He posted it and this guy is seriously going to be my next boyfriend. I was laughing so hard watching this. Anyone who would film this video of himself is obviously the perfect guy for me.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

This is not my day but it better start being my day real dang soon! - Update

Should I be worried about the following?

  • I have an interview in 12 minutes.
  • The foundation I decided to put on (in an attempt to mask my constantly red skin with the gigantic zit that decided to pay me a visit today) has sunk into my pores.
  • Instead of having flawless coverage, I look like Monet decided to use my skin as the canvas.
  • The redness is somewhat covered.
  • This is good.
  • Except that there are two more tiny pimples. They don't want to stay covered.
  • I have seen the evil number 3 times today.
  • I'd not worry so much if it was cancelled by 3 viewings or more of my favorite number 777.
  • I am worried that I'm going to say something completely stupid like "I am a very focused individual. I am able to multi (looks into corner at hat rack)...I like your hats...multi task and maintain focus."
  • You laugh but I've done it! In an interview!

Okay, got to go. Want to be early. Wish me luck!

The interview is for a position in another department here, handling stock owners requests to sell, etc.

The interview went well, at least I think it did. I did babble. Babble apparently is my middle name. Well, Odd is my middle name, we've established that (or at least I have a category that says it so it must be true). I think Babble must be my confirmation name. And Marie is the name Mom gave me so she wouldn't have to become a nun (Yep. She got "the call" and made a deal with God that she would name her daughters after the Virgin Mary if she could get out of it). So I'm Dana Marie Odd Babble Vittum at your service.

The problem is, I'm not so sure I want the position. It isn't what I thought it was at all. You're handling transactions but it deals with balancing and math and making sure things are in BALANCE! This is not so good. Math is not my strong point. There's some dealings with a broker and stuff but mainly balancing and math. What to do? What to do? Do I take the position (if it is offered to me) and fake it? Or do I apply for another job in another department because, let's face it, I need to get off of the damn phones soon! I'm getting so burnt out. I need to do something that would utilize my talents more.

Sigh. Life is interesting, isn't it? And the zits brought friends. Bastards.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

We're okay

I heard about the bridge collapse this morning. It's a very frightening thing. I viewed the video of it on, it looks like it took seconds to cause so much havoc. My prayers are with those who are involved and on the wonderful people who risked their lives to come to the rescue. So far, no one I know has been involved, Thank God.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

I've been kind of cranky lately...

From: DM
Sent: Wednesday, July 25, 2007 9:01 AM
To: Keem
Subject: RE: Are you going to be done at 3:30? Because there's no rush if you won't be. I'm willing to be understanding and caring.

Will you remind me to take my Effexor to work tomorrow? I think the only thing that will remind me to take them is the actual reminder for Outlook. I am cranky today and I think you're right; it is probably lack of happy pills.

From: Keem
Sent: Wednesday, July 25, 2007 9:16 AM
To: DM
Subject: RE: Are you going to be done at 3:30? Because there's no rush if you won't be. I'm willing to be understanding and caring.

I will try. Why don't you just take them at night with your other meds? I thought you had them by each other.

From: DM
Sent: Wednesday, July 25, 2007 9:24 AM
To: Keem
Subject: RE: Are you going to be done at 3:30? Because there's no rush if you won't be. I'm willing to be understanding and caring.

I do. And I look at them and then I don't take them because I am a dork. I don't know why I don't take them.

From: Keem
Sent: Wednesday, July 25, 2007 9:50 AM
To: DM
Subject: RE: Are you going to be done at 3:30? Because there's no rush if you won't be. I'm willing to be understanding and caring.

You can't blame anyone but yourself for not taking them and being irritable. You know that this happens if you don't take them.

From: DM
Sent: Wednesday, July 25, 2007 9:50 AM
To: Keem
Subject: RE: Are you going to be done at 3:30? Because there's no rush if you won't be. I'm willing to be understanding and caring.

I'm not blaming anyone else. I know this happens.

*Thinks of really sarcastic thing to say. Decides snapping at Keem will not help matters at all. Writes something completely different.*

That's why I said I am a dork.

From: Keem
Sent: Wednesday, July 25, 2007 9:51 AM
To: DM
Subject: RE: Are you going to be done at 3:30? Because there's no rush if you won't be. I'm willing to be understanding and caring.

I know, but it's my duty to lecture you. I took an oath. :)

From: DM
Sent: Wednesday, July 25, 2007 9:51 AM
To: Keem
Subject: RE: Are you going to be done at 3:30? Because there's no rush if you won't be. I'm willing to be understanding and caring.

You did not! Liar! You're silly.

From: Keem
Sent: Wednesday, July 25, 2007 9:52 AM
To: DM
Subject: RE: Are you going to be done at 3:30? Because there's no rush if you won't be. I'm willing to be understanding and caring.

I did. I took it the day before we moved in together. You weren't there. I had to get all dressed up and go down to the court house and everything. :)

From: DM
Sent: Wednesday, July 25, 2007 9:53 AM
To: Keem
Subject: RE: Are you going to be done at 3:30? Because there's no rush if you won't be. I'm willing to be understanding and caring.

Really? I wonder why I wasn't invited to witness it.

From: Keem
Sent: Wednesday, July 25, 2007 10:04 AM
To: DM
Subject: RE: Are you going to be done at 3:30? Because there's no rush if you won't be. I'm willing to be understanding and caring.

I don't know. You missed the party with cake and everything. I worked long and hard to be able to take that oath... I'm sure I have pictures somewhere...

From: DM
Sent: Wednesday, July 25, 2007 10:05 AM
To: Keem
Subject: RE: Are you going to be done at 3:30? Because there's no rush if you won't be. I'm willing to be understanding and caring.

Oh, my God. You are so awesome. You have completely ruined the crankiness mood and he has run and hid. Thanks!


It is nice to have a Keem to help with the crankiness. I hope you are all well. I'm trying to get around to sites but I'm so busy at work. And I am taking my pills now.