Friday, August 31, 2007

Let's recap, shall we? Or Learning Experience 2

Let's talk about my week. It's been fun and exciting, let me tell you.

  • Sunday. Started coughing ferociously in an attempt to either a) remove my lungs of all fluid and imagined fluid (there was drainage from my nose but not enough to make coughing comfortable (not that coughing ever is really comfortable but there's a big difference between a dry cough and a productive cough. Dry coughs hurt more)) or b) my body decided it no longer liked me and was attempting to shake me to death.
  • Also on Sunday/Monday. Reached into my purse to pull out my keys and discovered that my keys and other key (hee. pardon the pun) items were now floating in Apricot syrup. Which is quite yummy but not a good substance to be coating your cell phone and camera and wallet. Fortunately, after much cursing and scrubbing, everything seems to be back to normal (well, other than the purse and any loose bits of paper. oh, and my brush. And the cheap piece of crap amplifier that I bought in an attempt to hear better. 15 bucks and all I got for my trouble was a headache. Sure, it made everything louder but that does not help you much in a bar), albeit a bit sticky still.
  • Tuesday. Found out that I did not get either of the jobs I was incredibly excited about. The reasoning was that there were two people that were more qualified and I can't argue with that. The announcement email that was sent out listed the qualifications and I was impressed.
  • Tuesday. Somehow I got a paper cut on my lip. How does this happen? Fortunately no one was throwing flaming lemons at me (long story. Maybe Beth will post about it).
  • Wednesday. Did not get the MATH job. Didn't care. Really glad that they "chose someone whose experience is more suited to the position." Woo-hoo! Don't have to turn it down. Yay!
  • Thursday. While at work, the area right between the underarm and my back starts itching. On both sides. What the heck is going on? Why am I so itchy? Argh! Fortunately dear sweet Co-worker Jackie comes to my rescue.
  • Thursday night. At the Chalet. Itch. Itch. Itch. Itchy meets Scratchy. Large reddish blotches start appearing on my skin. What are these? Can it be? Yes, it can. Yay! I have hives! Wow. This is so awesome.
  • Still Thursday night. Trying to scratch off all of my skin. Liz asks me if I've changed anything lately.

DM: Ah, yeah. I started using a new laundry detergent.
Liz: I was wondering if that was it. What kind of detergent?
DM: I don’t know. It was $2.50.
Liz: How big of a bottle?
DM: 32 loads of laundry.
Liz: Well, that would do it. $2.50 for 32 loads? What are you allergic to?
DM: Penicillin. Biaxin. Mold. The smell of paint. Apparently cheap laundry detergent.
Liz: Oh, yeah, you’re going to have to wash everything. Your sheets, clothes…
DM: I didn’t wash my sheets this time.
Liz: Oh, good. You can fashion yourself a toga.

Yes, I’m sure that my co-workers would love the sight of me in a toga made of brown sheets with little pink flowers (I love the colors brown and pink together. A few weeks ago, I bought pencils that are brown with little pink skulls. Don’t ask me why. I can’t explain these things) all over them.

Liz also caught me using the bar top to itch my hand.

Liz: Stop itching. Stop it. You'll just make it worse. You're like a cat! We'll buy you one of those cat scratchers.

Beth also caught me using her car door to itch my back.

Somehow I woke up Keem when I got home. Or Eddy did with his excessive need to meow at everything and everyone. Oh, and his need to get into the linen closet at 3 in the morning. The cat's a dork.

DM: Keem! Keem! I am itchy.
K: You're always itchy.
DM: Guess what happened to me. Guess.
K: What now?
DM: Apparently I am allergic to my laundry detergent.
K: You're kidding.
DM: No. Come see. I have hives. I have one the size of a quarter on my leg.
K: Yes, you sure do. And three on your knee.
DM: ARGH!!!!!!

I try to remove all skin from my body.

DM: Why me? Why?
K (trying very hard not to laugh. Failing): I'm sorry. Poor Dana. Well, I'm going back to bed.
DM: No! Itchy! Itchy back! Can't reach! Keem!
K: Keem is tired.
DM: But Keem! Itchy!
K: Poor Itchy Dana. Fine. This is going to be quick.
DM: Ah! Scratch harder! Rip the skin off!
K: Go to bed, you dork.

Thanks to Beth stopping at SA so I could buy Benadryl and the Aveeno ointment Keem gave me, I am less itchy today. I'm rather swollen and red in places but I am armed with a back scratcher, ointment and also my CO Bigelow Witch Hazel skin tonic that oddly seems to help. I'm going to La Crosse this weekend with Keem and I'll be spending some time in the basement rewashing clothes so that should be fun. Not exactly how I envisioned my Labor Day weekend. How about you? What plans do you have?

Yes, yes, go ahead and laugh. I know it's funny. Only me, right?