What About Rob? Part One

It's not done yet but I haven't posted anything in awhile. I should finish it in the next couple of days.

So lately, I've been thinking about my birthday. I'm going to be 38 next month and that's a little scary. It's only two years from 40. Which, I suppose is not that big a deal, but it's a milestone. And I'm not good with the milestones.

Those of you have been reading my blog for awhile or know me IRL are aware that I suffer from depression. You may also know that I'm back on the Effexor and that the depression is starting to recede. I actually blow-dried my hair this morning. Okay, this may not seem like a big deal but when I'm in the throes of depression, styling my hair is too much to handle and I have a tendency to just not care what I look like.

Anyway, the point is that my depression is what my former psychologist referred to as milestone triggered manic-depression (or bi-polar disorder, whichever you prefer) but I rarely experience the manic stages. Usually they are brief and crazy episodes where I try to break the depression by shocking it out of my system. By getting my nose pierced (twice). Or having sex with a complete stranger (haven't done either of these things in a long, long time. Although sometimes I miss it. That nose stud was really cute (Ha! You thought I was going to say I miss sex, didn't you? Nah. I have Hippo and Frug, they are all the comfort I need (God, I'm so pathetic. I have stuffed animals! Woo-hoo!))).

So today I thought I would tell you the story about when my depression was once at it's absolute worst and what triggered it. And to tell you that story, I have to tell you about Rob.

First of all, I will have to mention Lily. It is because of her that I met Rob. Lily was neighbors with my former friend Jake and his fiance, Loren. She would come over to Jake and Loren's and talk about how she worked with this guy who was really nice and liked her a lot but she was married and had a child. So nothing could ever come of it but friendship. However, she had absolutely no qualms in letting him spend money on her or her daughter.

I met Rob one night when he and Lily returned to pick up her daughter. Jake and Loren had been babysitting Amber while her mother and Rob were out at an auction. I had been headed downstairs when Lily walked in the front door, followed by Rob. He was carrying a bunch of packages. And there he was, my destiny. I didn't recognize him as my destiny at the time. He was short, with curly dark hair and nerd glasses. Bad teeth and bad clothes completed the whole package.

As time went by, Rob started coming over to Jake and Loren's house and joining us in playing cards and board games. We had a lot of fun and I got to know Rob better. Lily would usually join us during this time, along with her daughter Amber and her drunken lush of a husband, Loser (don't remember his name, can't be bothered to make up a fake name). The more I got to know Rob, the more I started to like him. He was extremely nice and, in my universe, personality is valued far more above looks.

But he followed Lily around like a puppy. It was sort of sad, actually. Here I was, single and thinking he was a great guy and there Lily was, 10 years older than him (he was 5 years older than me), with her husband and child, who was not available. And she would complain about him liking her. I did notice, however, that as much as she complained about the fact that he liked her, she never asked him to stop spending money on her. No, she took the gifts he bought her without a qualm.

About a month after I met Rob, Loren, Lily and I were in Loren's car, headed off somewhere. Lily was running off her mouth about Rob again. "Oh, he still likes me. He knows I'm married but he's always there. Like I'm just going to decide all of a sudden that I want to be with him (remember this. It's important) and kick out Loser for him."

Loren says casually "Maybe we should fix Dana and him up."

Lily jumps on the bandwagon. "That's a great idea! They'd be great together!"

Shortly after that, Rob starts to pay just a little more attention to me. It's like he finally woke up and noticed that Lily was married with child and that, hey, there was a single woman who liked him.

So Rob and I started dating. Things were going great between us, we had a lot of fun together and hanging out with Jake and Loren. When Jake would make some funny but mean comment about me, Rob would just laugh at him and pull me closer or kiss me. It got so that Jake didn't bother me anymore because Rob thought I was great and beautiful and funny.

Well, you know how this is going to end, right? Obviously we're not still together. And there was that little clue at the beginning when I said this was the tale of the worst depression I had ever suffered. That's known as foreshadowing.

While Rob and I were discovering each other, Lily and Loser's relationship was falling apart. He was drinking more and more and not working. Lily found that money was getting tight. And suddenly, Rob wasn't taking her out for dinner all the time. Or buying her gifts just because. Or fixing things around her house. Because he was with me. She didn't like it and started looking for ways to come between us.

She found one way on an extremely snowy morning. Rob had spent the night and, when I got up to start getting ready for work, I looked out the window. Close to 10 inches had fallen during the night, making the roads extremely treacherous. The radio announcer suggested that people not go out if they could avoid it. I called my boss (I was working at the small wire company mentioned in this post) and told him I wouldn't be in. There was some grumbling on his part because I lived about ten blocks away from the company and walked to work every day. My reply was "If I'm not willing to walk to work because the roads are that bad, maybe you should seriously consider not coming into work yourself." God, he was such a jerk. I'm glad I don't work there anymore.

After I called in, I crawled back into bed with Rob, excited about being able to spend a snowy day with my boyfriend.

Previous Comments:


At 2:17 PM, Matt said...
You must finish the story, I do not like it (in the words of my little Ri-Guy "I no not yike it") when you just stop in the middle. I am salivating wanting to know more, please tell me more. I mean it! I do not want to get all weirdly Italian and give you an offer you can't refuse based on the safety and sanctity of your stuffed animals. That would be wrong. There I have said my peace, and now I will go clean my piece so I can get the stuffed animals in the cross-hairs, unless you finish your story.Matt
At 3:25 PM, brooksba said...
DM,Please finish. I'm want to know the whole story, even though I know you've told me it IRL. But it's good to share. Share NOW!!!Beth
At 4:32 PM, Weary Hag said...
You sure know how to dangle your readers over a cliff!! I'm with Matt and Beth on this one ... this is very intrigueing and I can't wait to read the rest. Glad your depression is subsiding too, by the way. Every "good and nice" person I've ever known has suffered from some form of depression. No fair!Great storytelling DM ... Thanks for sharing. WearyHag
At 9:42 AM, annebrev said...
Yes, finish! Even if it is hard to write about... it's cathartic. You really can't just leave us hanging. Of course, you really can, because you did... but you shouldn't. Anyhow... glad to hear your depression is receding... I can relate to what a relief that is. Take good care.