All my bags are packed and I'm ready to go

Except that my bags aren't packed yet and I have no idea where I'm going.

So Keem and I have been planning to go see Jeff (former roommate) for months. Since he moved out last year. We actually made the request for time off in January, barely minutes after they said "Hey, you can request your time off for the year." My vacation starts officially at 3:30 PM Thursday, May 3rd.

At this point, Keem and I do not know where we are going. We have been waiting to hear from Jeff about when the best time would be to see him in Colorado (we figured we'd drive around the Denver area on the days he was working and spend quality time with him when he wasn't) but at last notice, something was going on and he was up in the air as to when that best time would be. Today is, as you may have noticed, April 30th. Something tells me we're not going to Denver, Toto.

Our thoughts are this. We're driving. Somewhere. We don't know where. Thoughts include Duluth. Itasca State Park (because I really want to walk across the Mississippi River again (the last time I was 7 or 8 or somewhere around there) that is somewhere up in North Minnesota. Brainerd. Madison. Milwaukee. Ann Arbor (mainly because Keem said there was a planetarium and I like planets. But Liz said we shouldn't go there and we should go to Chicago with Beth next year).

Pretty much I think we're going to get into the car and find a major highway and say "left or right" and then go either left or right.

I think Duluth and Madison/Milwaukee are our two main stops. I want to go to Ella's Deli again. My boyfriend Dave (when I was living in Madison, people, this is not a new development) took me there once and I loved the place. Of course. It was bright and shiny and there is a carousel. Plus the best tuna fish/cream cheese on a bagel sandwich I have ever had in my life.

We come back on May 12th or 13th. Beth is less than pleased with me because I am going to be missing 3 nights of karaoke. I'm also not going to be blogging unless we come across a place that has computers. I won't even be reading blogs. I'm not sure how I'm going to survive this separation from all of you but hey, I'll be on the road, with one of my best friends, driving her insane. Examples of things that will drive Keem insane:

• Are we there yet?
• Um, I have to go to the bathroom and you just passed the last rest stop for 40 miles.
• ZZZZZZZZZ (that would be me snoring because I fell asleep).
• Ooh! Let's go there (this will be followed by Keem saying "What is there? Where is it?" and I will say "I don't know. It just looked like fun.")
• Can I drive?
• I'm bored. You never let me do anything fun (in response to the above bullet point).

Expect lots of pictures when I get back.

Oh, for Teri, who seems to have thought I have forgotten about the whole Craig/James love thing.

Craig has a thing for Beth. Beth does not return his affections. This is a good thing because if she did, I think I would have to hit her. James likes to mock Craig because it is fun.

Anyway, a couple of Sundays ago, Craig got up to sing some song. It doesn't really matter what it was. But James, being the smart ass that we love and adore, had to, well, be a smart ass.

J: What are you going to sing to me, Craig?
C: Nothing! And don't you be writing me notes like a love struck teenager!

I grab my notebook and start writing the following (picture will follow eventually).

Dear Craig,

I love you like a love struck teenager.

Love,

Then I handed it to James and told him to sign it. After much arguing, he did (James: What? DM: Sign it. James: Okay).

I flung the paper down to where Craig was sitting and John* (who was sitting between Beth and Craig, much to her relief) put it on top of his stuff.

*John, by the way, is this guy that I had a slight, tiny, little crush on, mainly because he is smart and doesn’t creep me out the way that Craig does, even though he is kind of lumpy looking and has an unfortunate hair cut. He also is gay, something I thankfully found out before I embarrassed myself completely by getting drunk some night and comparing him to the Flash.

DM: John’s gay.
B: Yep.
DM: He's more fun to talk to now that we know he's gay.
B: Yeah. Because we can talk to him about boys.
DM: I know!*

*You'll all be happy to know that, while Keanu Reeves acting skills were called into question, the opinion is that, as long as he takes off his shirt, none of us care. This is about when Craig said "Oh my God, shut up about men already!" He was probably jealous because he does not look like Keanu Reeves, David Duchovny or whatever other guys we were discussing.

Craig comes back, sits down and sees the note.

C: What's this?
John: Looks like a love note.
C: Did you put him up to this?

He is looking in my direction.

DM: Hee hee hee hee hee (this would be me dissolving into giggles).

Well, none of us can leave it there, of course. James keeps asking Craig about their "love." Craig tells him to do something in some sort of slang that may or may not be English but none of us know that because we live in America and so does Craig for the last TWENTY YEARS! And besides, he claims to be Scottish so perhaps he should be using Scottish slang instead of English slang that might have been popular in the Fifties.

I console James because his love has been rejected. Craig is about ready to hit us all. With the stupid baton/beating stick thing he carries around. Apparently to prove he's a man, I guess.

John grabs the note and writes XXXOOOXXX on it.

John: If I had red lipstick right now, I would kiss this.
DM: Ooh! I have lipstick. It's not red but it'll work.

I slather my lipstick on (I was hoping John would do the lipstick but no, he didn't. Of course I had to. The sacrifices I make for good blogging material) and plant a big kiss on the paper. Then I grab the perfume roll-on I am carrying around for some reason* and wheel the applicator across the paper.

*I don't typically wear makeup or perfume but I will buy it. I figure I am girly enough to like buying it but not girly enough to go through the hassle of putting the stuff on.

DM: There. Now it's scented. Scented with James's love.

This made Liz laugh. That is akin with making Bryan tell me I did a good job singing. While Liz laughs at me alot, this was really the first time it was "Hey, that was damn funny" instead of "Oh my God, you're such a freak, I am laughing to keep you from stabbing me." I can tell the difference between her laughs*.

*Okay, sometimes she does this "Heh" sound which is "You have amused me." This was the first time that it was full laugh. Don't ask. I'm weird. You should have figured this out already.

Later on, after the laughter about the love letter has passed, John is telling us about the car accident he was in.

John: And then I was in a car accident and the fire department was the first to arrive and...
Liz: You were in a car accident? Was anyone hurt?
DM (at the same time as Liz): There was a fireman? Was he cute?
John (to Liz): No, I'm fine. No one else was hurt.
John (to DM): Yes. Very.
DM: Did you get his phone number?
John: No.
DM: Why not? I have to live vicariously through someone since the whole Craig/James thing doesn't seem to be working out.*