Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Beth's Worst Nightmare & my God, is my cat spoiled

So I admit it. I watch American Idol. I actually kind of even like the show. Granted, I think it is a bit of a joke, with Randy interjecting the word "Dawg" into each sentence 40 times and Paula floating on her "oh life is so wonderful and filled with Care Bears and Rainbows and la la la" cloud. The only person who ever says anything remotely interesting is Simon and people boo him the moment he opens his mouth. And no, the fact that I think Simon is hot has absolutely nothing to do with my defense of him. Nothing. Also, for your safety, please do not get me started on Ryan Seacrest and his annoying hair and "oh, aren't I so funny" and "look at me, I'm just a pretty boy who thinks I am talented but we all know I'm really not but look - I'm pretty" attitude. I don't like Seacrest. Okay?

Anyway, Idol is becoming interesting. Sanjaya is finally gone, the top 6 people left are going to become top 4 tonight, we're getting close to the end.

Last night was (sorry, Beth) Bon Jovi night.

Keem: Are you okay?
DM: Yeah. Why?
Keem: You don't seem enthused.
DM: Yeah, Bon Jovi is really, really popular at karaoke. I'm a little scared.

By this I mean that anyone who grew up in the 80's or ever saw Young Guns absolutely has to sing Bon Jovi. At least once. Some of them aren't bad (Marian sings Bed of Roses and is awesome) and some of them are terrible. Sometimes there is screaming. Not all of the screaming comes from the stage. Some of it is in my head (Shut up! Shut up! For the Love of God, shut up!).

However, last night was pretty good. Jon Bon Jovi was mentoring the Idols and looks much better now that he has short hair (I may love the hair bands of the 80's but I don't really like the hair).

The two performances that really stand out for me were from Blake and Melinda. Keem and I have been rooting for Melinda from the beginning and about 3 weeks ago I turned to her and said "I would go see her in concert now." She sang "Have a Nice Day" and it was fantastic. I don't know how else to describe it. She was hard rock and flirty with the guitar player and spectacular. I really believe she could win this. I've felt that way from the beginning.

But Blake. Oh my God. Blake. Blake with his freshly dyed black hair and his beat boxing and the leather jacket and the cool, kind of robot like moves and then the drumming duel between him and the drummer? He took "You Give Love a Bad Name" and made it fresh and new and Randy was right. Dude. That was hot. Keem and I had to watch it a second time, thanks to the miracle of DVR. I think it is going to be between Melinda and Blake and I am torn right now because I really want them both to win. They both took the songs and made them their own. It was wonderful. It was like watching Bryan sing Prince or Neil Diamond or anything and twisting it around to fit him. Beth might even have liked it. If she didn't run screaming the minute she saw that I wrote Bon Jovi.

And, in other news, remember my cat? Eddy? The one that loves only Keem? Yeah, I have just realized how spoiled he is. How did I find that out? By sending an email to the concierge in my building, explaining the care and feeding of Eddy. This is the email.


Thanks for getting back to me. Here is a list of Eddy's demands, I mean regular routine. And yes, I am aware that he is spoiled.

Dry cat food and water dish will be in the kitchen. Dry cat food is kept filled but doesn't need anything put in on a daily basis, just when it starts to get low. Believe me, he would rather have the wet food on a constant basis.

Wet cat food is usually once in the morning and once in the afternoon but he will not perish if he only gets the wet food once a day. He may act like it but he'll be fine. If you can stop by twice a day, awesome, if not, that's completely okay. The wet food is only a small amount, half a teaspoon or so, if he eats too much of it, he has a tendency to throw up and that's just gross.

He also has a dish on the coffee table that gets filled with a mixture of Pounce & Temptation treats. A layer on the bottom of the dish should be fine. According to my roommate, you're supposed to stir it up so he gets a nice selection but that's just ridiculous. It's already bad enough that the cat eats better than we do, he doesn't need to be waited on hand and foot.

And then, the water. If you can take the white glass that will be on the coffee table and fill it with ice water each day, that will be perfect. He likes to have a nice selection of water. As I type this, I realize how crazy this sounds but I did say he was spoiled.

The litter box will be in the hallway bathroom and it is clumping. Anything else would be uncivilized.

Thank you so much for doing this, it is so greatly appreciated. He has a nervous breakdown if we're gone for an entire day and he has to go without treats, I couldn't even begin to imagine what it would be like if you weren't willing to help us.

Oh my God. Keem actually told me last night to stir the treats up so he had a selection. Is there any reason why he likes her more than me?

Anyway, it is back to work. This will be my last post for awhile. I hope you'll all be having a great time and I look forward to catching up with you when I return from vacation. Hopefully I will have lots of fun stories to share and not how my cat drove the concierge crazy.