Friday, February 23, 2007

Game Night

About two weeks ago, Beth and I journeyed in the Perfectly Terrible Cruiser over to her mother's house for yummy food (you have to love anyone who makes you steak, fresh green beans, summer corn (she freezes it so she can have summer sweet corn all year round. That's just ingenious. Why have I never thought of this?), baked potatoes and garlic bread (and then says to you, "Oh by the way, I have butter, garlic butter and honey butter for you to take home" (and when you respond "I love you" she replies with "Yeah, I know.")) AND homemade ice cream. With mini chocolate chips).

After stuffing ourselves with incredibly good food, we decided to play Trivial Pursuit. I think everyone has a good Trivial Pursuit story, I know I have several. Such as answering every question about a US president with "Martin Van Buren" just because I like his name. Or trying to remember the name of the author of "Peter Cottontail" and only being able to say, over and over again "Beatrix...Beatrix...damn it, I know this!" and have your English teacher say "Yeah, I'm just impressed you knew her first name but watch the swearing." Or my favorite Trivial Pursuit story about the night the police were called.

But anyway, we are gathered around the table at Laurie's (Beth's mom), the board spread out in front of us and questions started flying. My personal favorite category is brown but I soon realized that this was the 20th Anniversary Trivial Pursuit and brown was not Literature based. Dang it. Beth said that it is more fun to play this game with people who don't know all the answers because the result is hilarious. And she is right.

B: What Mediterranean nation saw an increase in Ostrich farms after Mad Cow disease was discovered?
DM: Um, New Zealand.
B: What Mediterranean nation saw an increase in Ostrich farms after Mad Cow disease was discovered?
DM: Oh! Uh, Greece?
B: No, it's Italy.
DM: I like how you just read the question over again with the emphasis on Mediterranean. Geography is not my strong point.

This was proved over and over again because the stupid blue question - Global View. Grr.

The night continued on, more questions were asked, answers both wrong and right were given and there was a lot of laughter. And that's the best part of playing a game. It doesn't matter who wins or loses, just as long as there is a good time had by all.

But I won. Just so there's no doubt. You know, because I am a winner, baby (and no, I'm not really this obnoxious when I win, I just couldn't resist it).

That Sunday, after visiting Laurie again, Beth thought it would be a good idea to stop at Target to kill some time (we were way too early for karaoke). We ended up in the game aisle and Beth decided to pick up two games, one a Trivial Pursuit game with questions from the 80's and another one called Loaded Questions.

Playing Trivial Pursuit at karaoke is actually a lot of fun. We normally get there early and sometimes on Sundays it is slow. So this gives us time to interact with each other and get Bryan involved as well (we normally ask him the music and movie questions that we didn't get just to see if we can stump him). Liz has started playing with us as well once she comes up. We laugh, we talk, we try to stump one another, we even give hints (that sometimes includes playing charades. Something I'm also not good at) in creative ways - it's an excellent way to increase the greatness that is karaoke at The Chalet.

The other game Beth bought, Loaded Questions, is also fun but it would probably be better with a large group of people. It reminded me of a time in my past that I miss (but also regret as well).

Years ago, I hung out with a girl I met in college, Becky, and also some people we met through out the years. One of them was named Illya (totally cool name) who lived in Minneapolis and we would go over to his place or over to Becky's and play games. One night, we were hanging out at Illya's and decided to play Trivial Pursuit. But instead of going around the board, we just read the questions to each other. It was late, we were making up answers and just started getting sillier and sillier. Suddenly there is a knock on the door. Now it is 3 in the morning, Illya doesn't live in the best part of town (example - at his New Year's Eve party (the one where I decided my New Year's Resolution was to kiss every man in the apartment. Damn, that was a fun party) a random man walked in and started wandering around. There may have been the attempt to sell us drugs. I don't remember much about it but I do know that I did NOT kiss him) so we're a little concerned. Illya checks the peephole and pulls the door open. It is the Minneapolis police.

Police Officer #1 (PO1): What's going on here?
Illya: Uh, we're, uh...
Police Officer #2 (PO2): We got a complaint about the noise. What are you up to?
Illya: Well, I have some...
PO1: Are you going to let us in?
Illya: Sure.

Police Officer 1 and 2 walk into the living room. They see the group of us sitting on the couch, spread out on the floor, etc. On the coffee table is the Trivial Pursuit board. Scattered around it are the overflowing ashtrays (only with cigarettes, thank you very much) and different pop cans.

PO2: What are you all up to?
PO1: Oh, good Lord. You're playing Trivial Pursuit?
Illya: Yes.
PO1: Okay. Well, keep it down. Stop having so much wholesome fun, dang it.*

*No, he didn't say the last sentence. Apparently a neighbor called the cops and waited downstairs to let them in because it was a security building. Granted, it was 3 in the morning but still...

There was another night when we were over at Becky's. We decided to start playing a game where each person would make up a question, every one had to answer and then the person who asked the question had to figure out who said what (this is very similar to Loaded Questions). This is the night that I was compared to an onion (Q: What vegetable would Dana be? A: An onion. There's more to her than what meets the eye. And she's got layers), a romantic porno (I'm not sure how where that came from) and was also called a "Love Bomb" (Illya - "When you meet the right guy, you're just going to explode all over him." Off my look. "In a good way. This is a compliment. I swear.")

I miss that group but if I hadn't ever drifted away from them, I never would have met Beth and Keem and Liz and Bryan and James and Matt and the rest of the Chalet crew. And my life is so much better now.

In other news, did you know that 40 is the new 20? I don't know if that scares me or makes me feel a little better about the fact that I'll be 40 in a few weeks.

So, since I got such a great response on the last question - what games do you like to play? Any favorites?

Monday, February 19, 2007

Easter Rant

Well, technically it is more of an Easter candy rant.

Did you know that Hershey is planning on moving some of their factory work to Mexico? This annoys me and I will need to boycott them. However, since Hershey is probably the only American chocolate that I enjoy, I'll have to wait until they actually move and then I will boycott them. It will be a small boycott because it's just me but still, I'll feel good about it. Until I start missing the Kisses with Almonds. And, hello, Hershey, yes, the coconut creme is good and all but where are the almonds? What were you thinking?

The chocolate I love the most is the Lindt bar with Hazelnuts and Pistachio paste (mmm, yummy) but it is hard to find here. Although I am fond of the Cadbury Fruit and Nut bar. Maybe I'll see if I get a stash of that.

I was wandering down the Target aisle and was complaining about not being able to find black Jelly Beans and then I saw a bag. In my excitement, I didn't notice that the bag said Brach's Black Jelly Bird Eggs. Apparently there is a difference between jelly beans and jelly bird eggs. The only difference that I am noticing is that the jelly bird eggs suck, well, um, eggs, I guess. They are too sweet and too bitter all in one. Grr. Perhaps I'll be able to find anise squares somewhere. Those are the best.

Oh and I am also excited to see that the Saint Paul Pioneer Press will be doing the Peeps Dioramas again this year. These are the best. I can't stand Peeps but I do enjoy websites featuring them.

So what's your favorite Easter candy? Any traditions that your family observes? Do you enjoy Easter eggs with ketchup and a little salt? Or is that just my family?

Thursday, February 15, 2007

The way to a girl's heart...well, if she's me.

Yesterday I had peer coaching. This is when a new hire or temp is sent to sit by me so I can tell them all the joys about working here and they listen to me answer calls and maintain a positive attitude, even after being asked "What's my cost basis" forty-three million times. Yesterday's new hire was Mike. Mike is tall and stocky and kind of cute.

I noticed he was wearing a hoodie with the Superman logo on it.

DM: You know, Batman's cooler.

He holds out his wrist. There is his watch. With the Batman logo.

DM: I love you. Well, in a purely platonic way. Because, you know, I just met you.

He laughs.

Later, I am flipping through documents and click on the Star Trek Transcript I am currently reading.

DM: Yeah, this is what I do when it is slow, I read Star Trek Transcripts. Yeah, I'm kind of a geek.
Mike: I really shouldn't say anything since I'm wearing 3 superhero logos.
DM: Whose the 3rd one?

Mike starts to unzip the hoodie. I see green.

DM: Green Lantern?
Mike: Green Lantern.

This leads to a discussion about movies based on comic books.

DM: I love them.
Mike: I do too but there's a few I'm not thrilled with.
DM: Which ones?
Mike: Superman Returns. I didn't like that one much.
DM: What? How is that possible? That was awesome.*

*I am finding that I am using the word "awesome" way too much. Have I suddenly become a Valley Girl without realizing it?**

**I figured it out last night on the way to karaoke). Barney on How I Met Your Mother (portrayed by the incomparable Neil Patrick Harris) says "Awesome" all the time. I'm blaming him. At least I haven't started saying "Legendary." But I'm sure that's next.

He also reveals that he likes Star Wars and I scoff.

DM: I'm not overly fond of Star Wars.
Mike: That's okay. I'm not a big fan of Star Trek. Captain Kirk annoyed me.

And that's when I realized he was not for me. If you dis Kirk, you're history, dude.*

*Because, yeah, that's the best way to decide if you've met your soul mate. Not finding out whether or not he's an axe killer or married or anything like that. Nope. That's too logical.

Monday, February 12, 2007

Hi! Remember me?

Yeah, so I'm a little behind on the blog posts. And the checking of the blogs. I'll get caught up, I promise. Please remember what time of year it is. Do you know? Do you? The time of year that I HATE!

Yes. It is tax season. I hate tax season.

So I have much to tell you, my friends. Let's start with this for my mom who is probably still waiting for an email about the results of the tests that I mentioned in the Pennies From Heaven post.

Mom. Please reread this sentence. Perhaps it will help you know why you haven't heard me mention my tests lately - "Several years ago (2002 to be exact) I had what I refer to as “The Cancer Scare – Act 1 and 2.”" Surprise! I don't have cancer.

I had a great weekend. Spent it over at Beth's. It was a long weekend, starting Thursday and ending this morning at 3 AM (I hate Mondays!). I ran out of my apartment this morning at 6:30 and hopped in the nearest cab. No way was I going to attempt the bus.

This has been my day so far.

3:30 AM Curse the fact that there is only one working phone jack in our entire apartment and it happens to be in my room so the really cool phone we have that allows you to have multiple cordless phones scattered through the apartment has to be plugged in my room and the outlet nearest the phone jack decided to only work in one of those little plug in things (whatever they are called) and that's the one connected directly to the light switch so I had to unplug my lamp and plug the phones in there and now I don't have a light in my room and 0h my God, have you ever tried to set up a CPAP in the dark? Not fun.

6:00 AM Hit the snooze alarm. Go back to bizarre dream where Beth and I are stalking this couple so we can convince them not to break up because they're so fun and happy and we love them and we don't really know them so I'm not really sure who they are (not Bryan and Liz, I'm pretty sure it was Richie and Lina from The Class. Except that Beth doesn't watch The Class with me, Keem does so I'm really surprised that it was Beth stalking the couple with me) and they had this really weird fight where she took her bike onto the elevator and then he was mad at her because there wasn't enough room for his CAR (in his defense it was a one seater and was probably the size of an open umbrella. And it was orange. It kind of looked like an open orange umbrella, now that I think about it, except of course that there are not many umbrellas that have steering wheels. And so Beth and I are following them around and we come across the controversial Bayer aspirin commercial being filmed where Bayer is going to be the First! Ever! Company! to film a commercial using the "F" word. Yeah. The line was "Fuck! I have a headache. But I'm going to take Bayer Aspirin and it will be okay." Hopefully Bayer will not sue me or decide to film this commercial.

I know. I don't understand me either. Beth and I are standing there, begging these people not to break up because they bring us such joy. "Don't panic but we stalk you. But we're not bad stalkers. We're not going to kill you or lock you up in our basement or anything. Neither of us have a basement." I really don't understand why they were so concerned.

6:30 AM Get out of bed. Realize that I do not have time to shower. Decide it doesn't matter that I smell like cigarette smoke from being in bar for hours last night because people pretty much avoid me on Mondays. Apparently I'm a little cranky. I don't know why they think that. I'm sure it is normal to snarl at people when they are perky. Talk to Keem for a little bit about the fact that she completely SUCKS and is not going to work because she has jury duty.

6:45 AM Stare at cab driver in disbelief as he drives past convenience store I told him I needed to stop at. Disbelief doubles when he pulls into small gas station. What did he not understand about the conversation? What?

DM: I need to stop at the convenenience store on the way.
CD: Okay. Which one?
DM: I don't know the name but it is on the left side of the road.

The small gas station is neither convenient OR on the left side of the road. It is on the right side! And they do not have breakfast like food (or even lunch like food because I have been known to eat hamburgers for breakfast). They have Mountain Dew (thank God). And a lot of
Cheetos. But Cheetos Puffs or Cheetos Flaming Hot! Not the regular Cheetos that I like.

7 AM: Listen to voice mails. All 16+. I had a broker leave me approximately 15 voice mails. All asking me the same thing. If I don't call you, maybe it is because I'm not able to call you. Leaving me a voice mail every 15 minutes will not make me call you any faster!

Anyway, I have real posts to write but not a lot of time right now. Maybe later. Hope you're all well.

Oh, I leave you with this. I fell in love this weekend. Her name is Zoe. And she's pink and pretty and I would marry her. Well, if she wasn't a camera. Yes. I named my camera. What's your point?

Monday, February 05, 2007

Because Hell! Hell is for Dana's work!

So the head of NABABNA Stock Transfer Department was talking at a quarterly meeting last week. And he said "Hey! Guess what? We're not having a problem with the heat! Everything's been taken care of and it's clear sailing and life is filled with puppies and David Hasslehoff and maybe a rainbow or two!"

Yeah. Right.

Thursday the boss of my boss (mainly written this way because I can't ever figure out if the possessive of boss should be boss's or boss'. I know it is not bosses) came over and looked out the window and said "Hmm. There's a lot of smoke billowing out of the entrance there."

Excuse me?

I mean, come on. How many problems can we have with this building? Just checking my blog, I find that there was January 3, 2006 where the heat wasn't working and it was 34 degrees outside but only 60 degrees in the building (unrelated but completely irritating - what happened to the degrees symbol? Do I have to type degrees each time? Where is the cute little circle that showed you that you were talking about degrees? Was it also the symbol for Pluto? And now, because Pluto is no longer a planet, we can't have the degrees symbol? Stupid scientists)?

So then the fire trucks came and we got to discover that water got into the radiators (apparently that's bad) and that meant no heat! In winter! In Minnesota! Again!

Anyway, that's pretty much it. It's actually March 23rd and I forgot I hadn't ever finished it and I wanted to link to this post for the post I'm writing now. Carry on.