Rest in peace, Harvey. You were the best.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
I ended up going home early on Friday because I wasn't feeling good. Went to bed and slept until after 5 before Keem called me on her way home to LaCrosse. Sleeping that late wreaked havoc on my sleep schedule and I found myself with a lot of time to kill. I mean, yeah, sure, I could have cleaned or done something productive but that's boring. Instead I decided to watch a ton of movies.
There’s this website that Keem and I go to a lot, www.pogo.com. You can play games there and also chat with people if you want. Keem and I are not chatters but there is a feature called private chat where you can be in a “room” with someone else and talk. Sometimes Keem and I will do this when we are not even 2 feet away from each other. She finds it funny and will tell me she can’t hear me if I say something to her. Instead I have to type it. It also works as a way for us to communicate when we’re not in the same room. When we were staying at the Ramada and I was in the lobby playing on the computer, we could talk to each other without my having to walk up to our room or for her to come downstairs to tell me she and her mom were going to eat and what did I want on my pizza?
Anyway, if Keem’s not around or even when she is, we will put something on television as background noise – something to watch sort of out of the corner of our eye (this also works for scrapbooking. Warning, do not put in Clue. You will find yourself watching the entire thing, even if you have seen it a 100 times).
Keem and I subscribe to Comcast for phone, internet and cable. Do I need to have cable? No, probably not. Do I love it madly? Yes. Very much so. One of the most beloved features is the ability to have free movies on demand. I scrolled through the comedy section Friday night and found Groundhog Day (never seen it but both Beth and Keem have told me I'd like it). I enjoyed it a lot and finally, after all these years, figured out who James reminds me of. Oddly enough he has a lot of Bill Murray's mannerisms. How weird is that?
I also watched Cry Baby with Johnny Depp. I don't know what it is about this movie but it makes me laugh hysterically. I love a good musical and watching Johnny Depp gyrate across the screen amused the heck out of me.
I was supposed to go to a cookout this weekend but decided against it since I still wasn't feeling well on Sunday. Why not watch some more movies? Okay, don't mind if I do. Cannot remember what I watched and it probably doesn't matter that much.
Monday was another day for movies. I've started another cross stitch project, this huge gardening thing that I liked because it had an orange tree in the middle of it. I got it on clearance years ago. I spent the weekend separating the floss because it had to have a ton of different colors, of course. When I finally had the colors separated, I wanted something to watch so I could concentrate on the stitching and I remembered seeing Jesus Christ Superstar in the musical section.
I know I've written about being in this play back when I was 16. It was a great experience and I miss acting so much. I miss singing as well, stupid Chalet and their "We don't need to have karaoke on Sunday nights" mentality. Grr. I could sing on Thursdays, I guess, but it's not the same.
And now for what this section of the Encyclopedia of Dee Em is all about.
F is for Fame and Faith
Fame. I wanna live forever. Light of the sky like a flame. I'm gonna something or another. People will remember my name.
I bet you would be surprised to know that I am famous somewhere else besides my mind. Yes. That's it; your beloved Queen of the Universe is an actual published writer. Ever heard of poetry.com? I entered one of my poems into their competition and, while I didn't win, got the opportunity to purchase a gigantic book with my poem in it! Wow! Only 50 bucks (or something like that). I did actually go ahead and purchase the book. I figured what the heck, right? Someday I might actually find it and put it on my coffee table.
I always thought that someday I would be famous, more than expensive coffee table book famous. I wasn't sure what it was going to be for but it would be cool. There has only been one time in my life that I did experience the "Hey, aren't you…" moment and it was pretty awesome.
During my church's (Saint Andrews Lutheran Church, Mahtomedi, MN) production of Jesus Christ Superstar, it was decided to copy one of the more pivotal moments in the film when Pilate plunges his hands into a glass bowl of water and the water turns into blood. On this particular night, the man playing Pilate (I'm not sure but I think I remember his name as Bela and he was Hungarian?) does the same thing but the blood capsule floating in the bowl decided not to pop this time.
Imagine, if you will, the thundering “Die if you want, you innocent puppet!” fading as Bela squeezes and squeezes, waiting for the water to turn red. Nothing happens for one of the longest moments ever. I remember sitting on the stage in my role as people egging Pilate into crucifying Jesus, staring up at Bela. He finally uses all of his force and the capsule explodes.
Not only does the water turn bloody but there are blood spatters all over the stage. And on me. There is a large spot of blood on my hand. I remember staring at it, stunned, shocked and horrified. I don’t know for sure what the expression on my face was, something akin to Lady MacBeth’s, I’m sure, but it was noticed in the audience.
Some woman, sitting next to my father, turned to her kid and said “Look. Look at that girl. Do you see her face? Now that is an actress.”
My dad proudly leaned over and said “That’s my daughter.”
A few days later, I was walking somewhere (the church? The neighborhood store that my sister and I still call Jerry’s even though it has changed ownership many, many times and is now for lease again? No clue) and this woman stopped me. Now this was 1983 or 1984 so I thought nothing about stopping. I am glad I did.
Unknown Woman (UW): Excuse me. Weren’t you in Jesus Christ Superstar?
DM: Yes, I was.
UW: I thought so. I saw you. I just had to say you were wonderful. The whole play was excellent but I really thought you were great.
Wow. My heart swelled.
DM: Thank you.
UW: No. Thank you.
I didn’t have a part; I was just one of the many followers/lepers/temple defilers (the market scene. I wore a visor and believe I was supposed to be a bookie). I wasn’t Mary Magdalene or Jesus or my favorite part, Judas. I was just a member of the choir. And this woman was thanking me. It was such an amazing experience.
Watching Jesus Christ Superstar yesterday brought back that summer to me. From the first note to the last, I was overwhelmed with memories. I was singing along with the television (and remembered all of the words. I who can’t remember my name sometimes remembered every word. Not all of the notes, unfortunately. Surprised my neighbors didn’t pound on the wall).
I found tears streaming down my face while Jesus was being flogged. I watched Pilate plunge his hands in the water again and I remembered sitting on that stage, staring at the blood on my hands.
When Keem got home, we went to get lunch. She was asking me about my weekend.
DM: I watched Jesus Christ Superstar.
Keem: You mentioned that.
DM: I cried.
Keem: You did?
DM: Yeah. Jesus dies.
There are a lot of things that puzzle me about the world. I can’t watch the news or pay attention to politics because it makes me hurt. I don’t understand why, even with Bush at his lowest approval rating ever, there are still people who talk about what a great president he is. There are still people who think being at war is a good thing.
We are living in a world where I sometimes feel I have to apologize for being a Christian because there are these people who out there who think it is okay to use God as a reason to kill and to hate. Who think that someone not being the same religion or color or sexual preference is a crime and should result in death.
I guess what I am trying to say is that when I was 16 and that blood landed on my hand, everything was clear to me. That moment was brought back to me yesterday during the movie.
Jesus died for my sins. For me. Because God so loved the world that he gave his only son. There’s a scene in the movie where Ted Neeley is singing at the Garden of Gethsemane. The song is so bittersweet it makes me cry to think about it.
“God thy will is hard
But you hold every card
I will drink your cup of poison
Nail me to your cross and break me
Bleed me, beat me
Kill me, take me now
Before I change my mind.”
I have always been grateful for that. You know it had to be hard on him. Can you imagine waking up one day and knowing that this was going to be the day you died because your Father said it was time? Kind of makes you wonder why he didn’t grab Mary Magdalene and run like the wind.
I believe that everyone makes a choice and I don’t believe that we are predestined to do anything but for Jesus and Judas, I think they were set on a road that they had no choice but to follow.
When Carl Anderson is singing during Judas’s death:
“My mind is darkness now
My god I am sick
I've been used
And you knew
All the time
God I'll never ever know
Why you chose me for your crime
For your foul bloody crime
You have murdered me!
You have murdered me!”
I have always felt that Judas wasn’t the bad guy. I think he did act out of concern and was portrayed badly. So I love this movie for portraying him as someone who was trying to protect Jesus.
Anyway, that’s my two cents. I’m not sure what my point was – maybe that I like Jesus? And feel that Judas wasn’t all that bad? I guess that’s it. And that while I don’t believe in organized religion, I do believe that there’s such a thing as faith. And it is important to me. Not important in a “I must shove my beliefs down your throat” but a “Hey, this is what I feel.”
So saieth thy Queen CarpeDM at 2:22 PM
Thursday, May 22, 2008
It’s time for another bullet-point day.
- I am stressed out. Seriously. I come back from vacation to two Inboxes filled with a ton of stuff to do.
- My Inbox had approximately 265 emails. I was gone for a week. Although why I’m surprised, I’m not sure. I once had 50 emails when I returned to the office after a doctor’s appointment.
- While I am thankful that my co-workers handled the seriously urgent items, our online resource Inbox was stuffed to the gills and about ready to explode.
- And then there was the email to take one of the documents and completely redo it. That’s only taken me about 3 days to come up with the rough draft.
- Add my monitorings on top of that and I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised that I was headed towards a mini breakdown last Friday.
- Oh, and guess who kind of forgot to take her Effexor while on vacation? That’s right. This girl.
- Well, I remembered some of the days. I figured out on Friday that, out of 16 days of May, I had probably taken 7 doses. Oops.
- Which meant that, while I wasn’t crying, about ready to jump out of the nearest 27th story window, I didn’t have my usual calm in the eye of the storm demeanor.
- If I had been taking my pills as I was supposed to, as I explained to Co-Worker Jessica, I would still be overwhelmed but able to deal with it better.
- Which, I guess, really isn’t the best way to handle things. I’ve had anxiety attacks in the past. I really want to avoid them.
- Stop clenching, chest muscles! I’m not in the mood!
- Yesterday I spent all day working on the online resource Inbox. I cleaned out the majority of the stuff from the beginning of the month, dealt with the seriously urgent and some not so urgent but while I’m working on this other stuff, I might as well get the rest of it done.
- I turned my back for two minutes and suddenly there were 18 new emails. ARGH!
- Cleaned those out last night and today there were another 18 new emails. Someone seriously hates me.
- Okay, so I know this is not a heart attack and probably is heart burn but it’s a little amusing to hear William Shatner sing “Live life like you’re going to die. Because you are going to die.” when you have chest pains.
- Maybe I don’t mean amusing. Maybe I mean seriously freaky.
- If my regular duties weren’t enough (why, yes, I’m back to whining about work), I’ve answering approximately 20 questions a day. And while I get that is part of my job, um, hi, people, I have work of my own to do!
- And could you not argue with me about my answer when I’m on lunch? If you don’t like my answer, go ask someone else.
- If all this wasn’t enough, Kari, Eric and Josh are in Las Vegas right now.
- Eric’s dad Rob and his girlfriend Betty got married yesterday.
- Really wish I could have been there.
- Because if I was there, I would not be in charge of the demon cat.
- That’s right. Sebastian’s back.
- And as loud as last time.
- However, he and Eddy are getting along better. This is mainly because Eddy has learned to keep to high spots. Such as the buffet this morning when Sebastian was trying to “play” with him. Or, as we call it in the Keem/Dana household – violating my baby.
- He’s not as frequently loud or maybe we’re learning to sleep through it but Oh my God, is it annoying.
- We are also pet-sitting 3 gerbils – Oreo, Snickers and Stinky. Guess which one my nephew named. They are highly adorable and Keem is quite fond of them.
- I really, really want ice cream right now. Ice cream is relaxing.
- Pringles Extreme screamin’ dill pickle chips are not relaxing. I love dill pickle chips but only Old Dutch seems to get them right.
- Why can’t we get Paprika Pringles in the US? It’s not fair. Beth and I had them in Portugal and they were very, very yummy.
- Yay. Chest pains were heart burn. Well, that’s a relief.
- I feel better now that I’ve vented. Thanks for reading.
So saieth thy Queen CarpeDM at 12:16 PM
Monday, May 19, 2008
This is my life.
Our heroine, DM, has just been contacted by her friend, Beth. It is Thursday night and time for karaoke. Camera focuses on DM entering the elevator. She appears tired (that's because she IS tired) as she presses the button for the 1st floor.
Camera stays on DM as she leans her head against the elevator wall. She is not paying attention to the numbers flashing on the thing that flashes the floor numbers on the elevator. Camera tightens on the number 15. DM does not notice this and starts to head out as the doors open.
On the other side of the door is an attractive man, possibly anywhere between 25 to 30. DM almost walks into him.
DM (visibly startled): Oh. Sorry.
DM steps back into the elevator.
Attractive Man (AM): That's okay.
DM: I guess I'm not used to people going out at this time of the night.
Close up on AM's watch. It is not quite midnight.
DM: But then I'm old.
There is a brief pause where it is apparent that DM is dying inside. Perhaps the words "But then I'm old" can echo throughout the elevator.
AM: Where are you going, if I may ask?
DM: The Chalet. A friend of mine is the karaoke host there. I go there every Thursday.
The elevator reaches the 1st floor. AM allows DM to exit in front of him. He smiles his brilliant smile (nice teeth!).
AM: Have a good time.
DM: Yes, you too.
The camera follows our heroine as she walks to the waiting car of her friend. She is shaking her head the entire time, dismayed over her ability to transform herself into a dork whenever talking to a member of the opposite sex.
Seriously. This actually happened. It's amazing I didn't say something about "You young kids today" or talk about "When I was your age, I used to walk to the bar 20 miles. Uphill both ways! In the snow."
I think we can pretty much guarantee that I will never ever have sex again. Well, at least if it involves talking to someone. Although, if I'd lower my standards a little bit, I'm thinking I probably could have got lucky* with the incredibly drunk man that kept wandering over to where Liz, Beth and I were talking about Beth's soon to be house. There's nothing that says sexy like having a complete stranger come up, put his arm around your shoulder and drag your head down until you are inches away from his armpit.
*And when I say lucky, I mean the exact opposite of lucky. Which I guess would be unlucky but that just doesn't seem strong enough of a word.
So saieth thy Queen CarpeDM at 11:51 AM
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
I think if you were to type 453 in the little search area on the top of the page, you would come up with a lot of hits. I don't know where this number came from but I've been using it for years, starting with the amount of pamphlets my mother brought home from the doctor when I was a teenager (quit smoking, don't have sex, don't ever do anything enjoyable ever because it's bad for you). I know this is going to come as a shock to you all but sometimes, every once in awhile, I exaggerate. Just a little.*
*Co-worker Christy would be rolling her eyes right now over that statement. I do love her so. Even though she is my exact opposite in many ways, my adoration for her is such that I tolerate her using the word "obvi" as an abbreviation for "obviously" (but only because she says it in a completely sarcastic, snotty way and it's funny) and actually walked into a Coach store. I know! Me! I who can't even imagine paying more than $20 for a purse and have resorted to putting my fingers in my ears (and also saying lalalala) when she mentions what she paid for a pair of shoes. I don't get designer fashion. But she does and I thought it would be cool to say "hey, I was thinking of you on my vacation." And I even ending up buying something for the both of us (cell phone charms. Although, since I don't have a cell phone, mine will go on Zoe (my camera)) because it was reasonably priced. I did resist the really cute key chain that was $50. I love key chains with a passion but had to pass it by. No one needs a $50 key chain. Especally someone who doesn't drive.
Anyway, I went back to work today and boy was it ever fun. No, not really. It wasn't horrible but it was the first day back after vacation and that's never something you really want to do. Last night I was trying to convince Keem we should tell Cheryl the car broke down and we were stranded in Wisconsin but then interrupted myself to say "No, that wouldn't work. Let's face it, Cheryl would just come and get us." And then we agreed that she's the best manager ever because she would do exactly that if we were in trouble. I told Cheryl that this morning and she laughed at me but was also pleased by the description.
Oh, I was going to say why I can't talk to men anymore. That would be because I, in another display of verbal diarrhea, decided to have the following conversation with Co-Worker Rykken.
DM: You did something different.
My eyes are narrowed and staring at his hair.
Rykken: I decided to brush it this way (indicates his left. Or right. He was facing me and it was my right so that would be his left? Right? I think?) this morning. Nothing else has changed.
DM: You need to let it grow again. And also grow the beard back.
Rykken: September isn't that far away.
DM: September? You can't make me wait until September!
Later. We have somehow got back on the beard topic again.
DM: You should grow the beard back.
Someone: But it's hot and humid, Dana. Too hot for the beard.
Co-Worker Beau: He should have the beard.
DM: That guy on "Lost" has the beard when it's hot!
Beau: Maybe it's fake.
DM: Sawyer. Josh Holloway. No, it isn't. I read the article and he said he shaves it every hiatus and his wife says "Ooh,who are you?"
Rykken: That's just stubble.
DM: I would be accepting of stubble.
Rykken: Stubble isn't appropriate for work.
DM: Dang it! I have very specific criteria for my eye candy and you are failing!
Rykken: Eye candy? I've never been called eye candy before.
DM: Oh dear God, that was probably not appropriate for work.
And then I hid for the rest of the day until we forgot all about it.
Speaking of not appropriate for work, I made Beau the coolest thing this week. It was so easy and fun and it is the first cross stitch thing I have done that has not taken me years and caused me so much frustration that I set it aside and forgot all about it (sorry about that, Beth and Diana. Although, Diana, I did find the one I started for you last month when I was cleaning my room. Of course, now I can't find it again. And I was pretty much done. Except for the French knots. I hate French knots. They are evil and mean).
I found it on the Subversive Cross Stitch website and it was the easiest thing ever. No half stitches, no daisy stitches, just simple and cute and fun. I love to cross stitch but get cranky when I can't get it to work properly (I may have mentioned the French knots) or I screw up. But this was so simple that I even smiled when I realized I had put a heart in the wrong place and had to redo the whole thing. I smiled! Because I enjoyed it. I've already started stitching another one for old roommate Jeff because I think he'll get a kick out of it as well. And then it is back to the website for the Bite Me one. And then the WTF? Keem wants me to make the Happy Fucking Holidays quartet for next Christmas.
The creator, Julie, wrote on her instructions to enjoy the thrill of stitching snarky messages where people would least expect them. And she was so right!
Okay, now for some trip pictures:
There was a Cheese Shop across the street from the Ramada. On the 2nd floor, there were some clothes and hats. Including the CHICKEN! hat. Keem and I had to wear the hat for proof of the oddness. No, we did not buy the hat.
I took Hippo on the trip with me. After a long day out, we came home to find the room cleaned and Hippo awaiting on top of the bed. I loved staying at the Ramada.
Here is one of the pictures from the Mustard Museum. I love this type of print and so was pleased to capture it!
Look. It is a tractor. I am fascinated with farms. I don't know why.
This picture turned out much better than I thought it would. It's a turkey vulture.
This is one of the many cool rock sculptures on the Wisconsin River. This is called the Ink Pot.
This is the dam for the Wisconsin River. One of 27? Something like that. The Wisconsin is known as the hardest working river.
Keem's mom Kathy in the Witch's Gulch.
This was not from my vacation, it was on a trip to the happy place (casino) outside of Hastings. As you know, my cat's name is Eddy. I figure this will make a good scrapbook title for when I finally finish my Portugal album.
In LaCrosse, we drove by the River Walk or River View or something River. There was a prom. I love taking pictures of random people.
We went to the Isle of Capri on our first weekend in LaCrosse. It's a River Boat Casino in Marquette, Iowa. This is the city hall in Marquette. I thought it was cute. The 2nd picture was taken from the boat and is of a flag and bridge.
Here is a picture from the Minnesota Zoo. It is Katie, Jamie, Keem and me. And my new glasses!
It is irritating that Keem is always much more photogenic than me.
There will be more pictures to come. I only loaded these because I could actually figure out what they were when trying to load. I'm going to have to play around with the others.
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Or I'm not hearing things and the piped in music in the Ramada Inn lobby is actually some jazzy version of "The Little Drummer Boy."
Seriously. I just had to check the date. It is May 7th. Christmas is not for many, many months. Who plays Christmas music in May?
And then, I swear to all that is Holy (such as the night), it then turned into this jazzy rendition of "At Last." WTF? Are you kidding me? Not that it wasn't good but it was a duet. Very strange.
I also got to hear a conversation between some English guy and the male clerk at the front desk about how the English guy usually scores pretty well because he's English. Apparently we foolish American women are turned on by an accent and overlook the fact that he a) is married and b) seems to have no personality. Apparently both he and male clerk are on their 3rd wives. Male clerk looks to be about 35. Also, English guy got married for the 1st time when he was 16. Apparently that's legal in England.
In case you are wondering, the lobby has computers with free internet so I can catch up on my blogs and email. And eavesdrop on interesting conversations between the clerk and random people. The Ramada Inn, by the way, features a Belgium waffle breakfast. I've heard that approximately 6 times. I have also heard "Rockin' Robin" and "Little Bitty Pretty One" twice within the last hour so apparently the music played here is odder than I thought.
The vacation is going well. On Friday Keem and I went to the zoo (the Minnesota Zoo, it's bigger than the Como Zoo in Saint Paul but the Como Zoo will always be my favorite) and the worst Mexican restaurant in the world (Tequila's in LaCrosse with Keem's mom Kathy and her niece Kylee (a mini version of Keem - silly and sarcastic. At the age of 9. I thought sarcasm wasn't something you learned until you were a teenager)).
We spent two nights in LaCrosse and went to visit my favorite store in the world, Shopko. I don't know why Shopko is my favorite. I have loved it ever since I lived in Madison, many, many years ago. Perhaps because it was cheap but also had cool stuff. Saturday, Keem, Kathy and I drove to Marquette, Iowa to the Isle of Capri (a river boat casino. Not as exciting as I thought but I did manage to walk out with money left in my pocket and only lost 5 dollars. In my book, that counts as winning). The drive was very pretty and I have many pictures.
Keem, Kathy and I drove to Wisconsin Dells on Sunday (after I called my sister and wished her a happy Mother's Day. And then everyone laughed at me because apparently Mother's Day is this Sunday, not last Sunday). We stayed at the Ho-Chunk Casino because Keem and I stayed there last year and enjoyed it. The hotel is very nice. We decided to only stay there for two days because it is expensive and also, the temptation to gamble is removed if you're not actually staying in the casino.
On Monday, we took the upper Dells boat trip. Very fun, would have been better if not for the two screaming little girls that sat in front of us. Apparently they were tired, which you would think the parents would notice before taking the kids on a two hour boat ride. After awhile, you could just turn them out and they did stop the screaming for most of the trip. Their older brother was a perfect angel during the entire trip and amused me greatly when he turned to his dad and asked "Can't we just throw them off the boat?" His dad responded with "I think I'm going to jump off the boat."
Keem and I got rather sunburned so we decided to take another boat trip the other day and compound the sunburn. This was on the lower Dells and was only an hour.
Today was kind of rainy. Kathy left earlier this morning and it is now just Keem and I. So we decided to go to the movies. We saw "Made of Honor" with Patrick Dempsey (I've liked him ever since "Can't Buy Me Love" and "Lover Boy" and that other one he was in where he was a pizza delivery boy who began to supplement his income by providing other services besides pizza (can't remember the name, too tired to go to IMDB) and "Iron Man" with Robert Downey Jr.
Liked them both. For different reasons, of course. "Made of Honor" was cute, funny and had some gorgeous scenery (parts of it is filmed in the UK). "Iron Man" had things that blew up, an awesome plane chase and Robert Downey Jr.
Tomorrow we are off to Mount Horeb for the second annual visit to the Mustard Museum. So looking forward to that. NPW, not sure if they have post cards but if they do, you will receive one. If not, I'll find another one for you somewhere.
Pictures when we get home. Have a great week, guys!
Thursday, May 01, 2008
For some reason, I have the theme song for One Day at a Time in my head and that's how it starts so that's what I'm titling this post.
Anyway, posting and commenting will be intermittent for the next eleven days (11! Count them! It is awesome). Tomorrow starts the "2nd annual Keem and Dana go drive around Wisconsin aimlessly" road trip. We have a better idea of where we're going this year, last year we planned our trip by going to the Rest Top at the Wisconsin border and grabbing brochures of whatever sounds good.
Our plans include going to the Minnesota Zoo with our friends Katie and Jamie (you may remember him as my future fake husband. Although our fake marriage is off again. I'm not sure what he did but he annoyed me somehow. It might have been because he said we couldn't have a pink flamingo lawn ornament at our future home) tomorrow.
And then we are off. Off to La Crosse, to pick up Keem's mom. Then we will go to many places. I am very excited.
Some of the highlights of our trip will be visiting the Dells Mining Company, the Mustard Museum, a train museum which has an ACTUAL TRAIN that WE CAN RIDE ON! (Why, yes, I am excited & I’m not sure what the link is), and also the Flamingo hotel where I will take a picture of what might actually be the largest Pink Flamingo sign in America.
I like flamingos. They are pretty and pink and make me happy.
Hope you all have a great week or so!
So saieth thy Queen CarpeDM at 2:25 PM