Open letter to my body

Dear body.

Just what the heck is going on? Okay, I get the whole I chopped my bangs thing. That was my own fault. But what's with the two-toned hair? I realize you refused to let the pink streaks take and fine, maybe bright pink isn't the right hair color choice for a woman who has just turned 40. Fine. I get that. But now having bright, bright red where the gray was and maroonish black (which only shows under office lighting (in other words, I can't spell florescent)) hair is okay? That I don't understand.

And then there's the whole heel spurs/possible arthritis thing. You realize that by having heel spurs, you've proven Mom right. This is unforgivable. And I'm pretty sure she mentioned I could possibly have arthritis in her knowing Mom tone.

And yeah, I get that I wasn't really watching where I was going on Thursday and I walked into a pothole (for those of you wondering why I haven't claimed it, the pothole wasn't that big and I really can't file a workman's comp claim on something that is already a problem. After ice and propping up my legs on the footstool at work, I'm doing much better. Still sore but was there already) and wrenched the knee again. And the limping, holding on to chairs, really, really, really hurts when I'm tired thing, I get that. I'm old. Fine.

But I do not understand this latest fiasco. I do not understand what the problem today was. I got up. I went to work (after missing my bus, of course) via cab. I had a nutritious lunch (chicken with rice soup). What was up with the nausea right before I left work followed by the horrible bus ride and the dry heaving which was then followed by walking into the apartment and throwing up in the kitchen sink? That I don't get. Not at all.

Does this have something to do with the 5 cans of Mountain Dew and the really disgusting "hamburger" that I got out of the "Wheel O'Death" (also referred to as the "Vend O'Hurl") I had for breakfast? Because point taken. Point really taken!

Knock it off. I can't afford to be sick. I'm going to bed now, you wuss.

Sincerely,

Me

Lioness said...
Oh you poor thing. Might I suggest some halthier living? You know, less hamburgers for breakfast? More fruit and veggies? No? You want to hurt me? Oh well. YOU NEED TO EAT BETTER!