Sometimes I swear that my life must be this big cosmic joke and God is sitting there laughing at the newest reality show called "The Life and Times of Dana." Seriously.
What's going on? How about I give you the bullet point version? Bullet points are soothing and make me feel better and less like I am whining incessantly, once again, about how craptacular my life is. And these bullet points are pink. I like pink. (Do not ask me what happened with the bullet points. They started messing with me. They are evil bullet points. EVIL!) Yes, I feel the soothing starting as we speak. Or that could be the Puffs scented with Vicks tissue that I have draped over my nose like a veil.
There are many other things that are irritating and annoying and also somewhat funny in a bizarre and tortured sort of way but I have to go home now so I can cough and whine to Keem about how I am dying and obviously I am dying because, instead of telling me to shut up because I am annoying, she has been very sympathetic. But there is one good thing. When I am sick, I get paranoid about germs. And how the germs are out there, waiting to get me. And then I clean. So I cleaned (partially) my room and found the battery charger for my camera that has been missing for months. So this is good. And also, Dilbert, Brevity and Get Fuzzy were incredibly amusing today. Good-bye. Stay away from me because I am sick.