Eh. It's a bullet point kind of day.

• Seriously I think there is nothing more annoying than listening to one of my co-workers talk about her grandchildren. Not so much because I don't like kids but she has to repeat, word for word, what they've said or done. And she uses baby-talk. Grr. After you hear, for the 30th time, that her grandson calls her granddaughter Haywee because he can't say Hayley, you tend to get a little frustrated. I mean, I know I talk about Eddy a lot and his tendency to mrow at us but I don't say it to everyone that passes by. I certainly don't go and seek people out and yammer at them in cat talk.
• I should be thrilled to death that it has been slow at work and, really, I am, but it's also so boring. I cannot wait until November 1st when the new job starts. Hopefully I will also get lots and lots of reports to do. Reports are fun. Especially when they involve Excel.
• Keem heard back about job number 3. She didn't even get an interview. However, job number 4 was the lucky number. She is now the newest member of the help desk, which helps customer service reps with calls and also takes escalated calls. They also do research so it is a job that is incredibly suited to her. She also starts on November 1st. Our hours will switch from 7-3:30 to 9:30-6. Not as thrilled about the later hours but it is going to be nice not dragging myself out of bed at 5:45 every morning.
• My desk is empty. Well, as empty as my desk can be. All my fun stuff is packed away, waiting to be rearranged on my new desk. I can't wait. New desks are fun and exciting and involve arranging things just so...plus I found my cubicle sweet cubicle sign. Yay!
• Pomegranate Green Tea is not as exciting as I thought it would be. Eric's right. Green tea does kind of taste like grass.
• I will miss not sitting in the same row as Co-worker Eric. I will also miss Co-worker John and Co-worker Rykken. It's not like I can't come up to the counter to see them but still, who will I talk to about Heroes? Who will laugh at me when I am being thwarted by my cork board? Who will refer to my desk as Fairy Land?
• I have cramps. I am not pleased. I suppose I could take some ibuprofen but that always seems to not help much. Plus my purse is too far away. Okay, it is only a foot but still...and yes, sometimes I really am that lazy. Rolling across floor in wheelie office chair is fun though so here I go...ibuprofen achieved. Retreat, cramps, retreat!
• Today is Beth's birthday. Happy birthday, Beth! Yay! To celebrate, we are going to the Best! Steakhouse! Ever! to have steak. Mmm. Steak. I will be partaking of the Bludgeon of Beef again. My mouth is starting to water already.
• We are also going to spend the entire weekend scrapbooking. This will be fun. It would be more fun if I would actually develop pictures but the pictures are on my computer and I can't get to them yet. My room is kind of messy and the path doesn't go that far.
• Do not, if you can at all avoid it, read the book "What came before he shot her" by Elizabeth George. It's so very sad. I will definitely recommend "American Gods" by Neil Gaiman. Just finished rereading it and am now working on "Anansi Boys" which is the sequel. I love Neil Gaiman.
• Break is over. Must work now. Yay, work. Have a good day. And a spectacular weekend.

Look! It's a new Meme!

Because I still have nothing to say. Except that "I got a new job! Yay me!" Oh, right, I mentioned that before. Keem, however, did not get job 2 of 4 jobs applied for. Keem is unhappy right now. Let's all pray/appeal to higher power/think happy, empowering thoughts that Keem does get a new job as well because right now it is very tough on her self-confidence to keep being told how great she is and then passed over for someone who has been here less time and has less qualifications. Poor Keem. It is very sad.

Anyway, enough about work. Here is a meme that Patti tagged me for, which I am grateful because, as I said, nothing really to talk about here that isn't about my shiny new job or the fact that I think bras are evil and should be outlawed. Ha! That was random, wasn't it? Weren't expecting that!

Yeah, I'm going to just bring you the meme and shut up now. I think of done this before but don't care. My answers always change and/or become longer. Because that is the power of Dana.*

*I may have overdosed on happy pills. I've been remembering to take them and, well, sometimes the power of happy pills can be a little frightening.

Four Jobs I’ve Held:

Orange Julius orange wrangler (Sounds exciting, doesn’t it? It’s not. And that wasn’t my official title; I can’t remember what we were called. Peons, perhaps?)

Customer Service Rep (many, many times, including now. It is odd that I like customer service when I really don’t like people that much (Okay, before you do the whole “but we’re people. If you don’t like people, you don’t like us” let me just explain to you what I have told Beth and Keem. You don’t count. You’re cool. I don’t like people as a whole but I like individual people. Persons if you will. And I have mentioned that I thought I’d make a great hermit before if it wasn’t for the fact that caves rarely have cable or internet (although Batman probably does. I could move in with Batman. I’ve always wanted to be a crime fighter)))

Office Manager (Worst job ever. I’ve posted about this before but my boss was a complete dictator who didn’t like it that I alphabetized. Excuse me? You’re upset because I’m efficient? WTF? Or, in alphabetical order, FTW?)

Cotton Candy maker (I hate cotton candy. I despise it. It tastes horrible, smells even worse when you’re making it and, when you give it to small children, makes them insane on a sugar high. Plus, when you’ve spent the entire day making it, you become covered with it. There is cotton candy in your hair. There is sugar in your pockets. When you step into the shower, you will start melting.

Four Films I Could Watch Over and Over:

The Imposters
So I Married an Axe Murderer
Big Trouble in Little China
Big Trouble (the movie based on the novel Dave Barry wrote)

If you got the idea that I prefer comedy, you would be correct.

Four TV Shows I Watch:

Burn Notice
Heroes
How I Met Your Mother
America’s Next Top Model (I have to get my drama somewhere. There is nothing more dramatic than a bunch of skinny girls who think they are the greatest thing in the world and it turns out, that uh, no you’re not. The one we’re rooting for this year is Heather who has a mild case of autism (there’s a fancy name for it but I can’t spell it and I’m too lazy to Google it). And Lisa who is an exotic dancer and all the other girls are “You know the Next Top Model isn’t going to be a stripper (Yeah, well, honey, she’s got way more poise and grace in her little toe than you do in your entire body). We’re so great, blah, blah, blah.” And Miss J both fascinates and repels me a little bit)

Four Places I’ve Lived:

Mahtomedi, MN
Saint Paul, MN
North Saint Paul, MN
Madison, WI

Four Favorite Foods:

Turkey burgers (I know. Who knew they could be so yummy?)
Real, juicy, made from a cow, hamburgers (I could kill for Fuddruckers. I won’t because that would be wrong and then I’d go to jail and I’m pretty sure they don’t have Fuddruckers in jail. Or Ruby Tuesdays)
Bread (not that I’ve had any lately. I haven’t had bread in weeks)
Au Gratin potatoes (sigh. Why are all my favorite foods starches? Why?)

Four Websites I Visit Daily:
I really don’t visit websites daily but these are ones that I do when I’m at work, when I’m most on the internet.
Bloglines.com (and look! You’re all there!)
Popcap.com (Peggle is addicting and wrong. Even more so than Alchemy)
Google
Go Fug Yourself.com (they always have a post and I’m sorry but I enjoy their sense of humor and it is nice to look at both pretty and really scary clothing)

Four Favorite Colors:

Pink
Brown (with pink)
Blue and Purple plaid
Orange

Four Places I Would Love to be Right Now:

Portugal
China (They have Pandas! (plus Keem and I watch Survivor China and it is pretty)
Italy
Las Vegas

Four Names I Love, But Could/Would Not Use for My Children:

Henri (pronounced On-ri)
Dmitri Aloysius
Willow (Hi, honey, I named you after a tree! And a movie! And a witch on Buffy! What do you mean, you hate me?)
Adelaide

Halloween Meme and an exciting update

Nothing that exciting going on here except that I have been sick and by sick I mean suffering from some sort of plague that has turned my life into an adventure. Not Adventure In Babysitting but more of an adventure titled Will Dana Make It To The Bathroom In Time? And the answer is, for those of you dying to know, is No. Not always. That is all I am going to say about this except for the fact that you know, maybe Pepper Jack cheese is not the best breakfast choice.

Still waiting to hear about the QA position.* Keem did not get the Supervisor position (either one of them) but did have her interview for Training and that appeared to go well.

*No longer waiting to hear about the QA position. I got it!!!!!! Yay! I am very excited. I start officially on November 1st.

Anyway, stole this from Miss Melissa because it was fun and I needed something to do. I am bored, bored, bored because I don't have any new books to read. Well, that's not true, I do have some but they are not what I want to read. I want something witty and fun and joyful, not a depressing book about some 12 year old who had a really crappy life and then shot someone. I'm the type of person that has to finish a book once I start it but I am really tempted to stop before it gets any more soul-wrenching. It's well written but my God, I just want to scoop this poor kid up and save him.

What’s the scariest movie you’ve ever seen?

I don’t like gore so I very rarely ever watch it. Some of the ones that really have freaked me out were “Scary Movie 3 (I know it was a spoof on Scary Movies but it was still scary so shut up)”, “The Eyes of Laura Mars (saw it when I was 12, about a woman who can see through the eyes of a killer)”, “Stir of Echoes (my sister insisted on watching it and so I hung out in the bathroom and watched part of it through the crack in the door)” and “The Watcher in the Woods.” That one was very frightening. It had a very psychological feel to it and was spooky more than scary. I still can remember parts of it and it just creeped me out. Best scary movie ever? The Spiral Staircase. Black and white movie about a serial killer who is after women with deformities. The main character is a woman who can’t talk due to a traumatic event and he is after her as well.

What was your favorite Halloween costume as a child?

I don’t remember. My favorite costume as an adult was Queen of the Universe. Complete with stars velcroed onto my shirt, construction paper crown, etc.

Given enough money what would be your fantasy Halloween costume?

Queen of the Universe. But, you know, there would be the actual Queen of the Universe salary to go with the costume. And real stars. I would SPARKLE!

When was the last time you went trick-or-treating?

How am I expected to remember this? Um, yesterday when I hit up Keem’s candy dish?

What is your favorite Halloween candy?

I’m quite fond of the mini Reese’s peanut butter cups but I also like milk duds. Pretty much as long as the chocolate is covering something, I like it. Plain chocolate? Blech.

Tell us about a scary nightmare you once had?

Oh, there was the one where the neighbors had an evil old man living in their basement and he had a giant oven where he would cremate people. There was the evil woman who turned all of her rivals into statues (that was probably after seeing some stupid movie about Heracles and how this woman turned her lovers into statues after she was done with them but lost out on his love so she dove into the statue making stuff herself). There were the aliens. There was the serial killer…have I mentioned that I have an overactive imagination?

What is your supernatural fear?

I’m afraid of vampires. They’re out there. Lurking. But if the vampires happen to be Angel and/or Spike, I’m okay with them. And Henry from Blood Ties. He's kind of hot. I like the cop better though.

What is your ‘creepy-crawly’ fear?

Clowns. Insects. Republicans (oh, like you’d be able to resist listing that).

Tell us about a time when you saw a ghost, or heard something go bump in the night?

So my friend LeeAnn and I have this apartment in North Saint Paul. One night I’m in the living room and I see something out of the corner of my eye. Someone (I assume it is LeeAnn) is going to the bathroom. This happens on and off for a few hours. Either she is really thirsty or has the bladder the size of a pea. But for some reason, something compels me to stare straight at the television and not turn my head at all.

The next morning I ask her why she kept visiting the bathroom. The answer? “I didn’t leave my room once I went to bed.” Then she asks me why I came into her room and shut her window. Uh, I didn’t. Sure enough, the window over her bed is shut, the one across the room is still open. Odd. Plus, she said that when this person came into the room, LeeAnn found herself unable to open her eyes.

We figured out we had a ghost, not overly surprising, it is an apartment complex, I’m sure someone has died here. I name him Mr. Ghost. Sometimes I can see him out of the corner of my eye. Mainly he just hung around and rattles the door when he wanted to leave the room (Figures I have the only ghost in the history of ghosthood who cannot walk through walls). And before you say it’s the wind, all the windows were closed.

Would you stay overnight in a real haunted house?

Depends. Are the ghosts friendly? Or are they the type to fly around and try to scare you out of the house? Friendly I can handle. Scary and I do not mix well.

Are you a traditionalist or a creative carver of your Jack-O’Lantern?

I would like to say that I am creative and that my pumpkins are fantastic and you will see them on those emails that get forwarded around to everyone but the truth is that I’m not very artistic. My pumpkins, even the traditional ones, look like a slightly deranged 2 year old got a hold of a knife.

How much do you decorate your house at Halloween?

Don’t. I have a fake pumpkin somewhere. Keem decorates her desk. Does that count?

What do you want on your tombstone?

Pepperoni and Sausage. Yes, yes, dumb joke. Sorry.

No, actually I found this quote that I absolutely loved and I would like that on my tombstone.

Don't cry because it's over - smile because it happened. – Dr. Seuss.

Is that not the most fitting thing ever?

Anyway, if you want to do this, go ahead. Let me know because I like memes. I am a dork.

Good morning, starshine! AKA I am going to kill Sheryl because this song is still stuck in my head! After six days!

ogl


I think I will leave that there and you will all wonder what cryptic code I am leaving for you. Here's a hint. I was trying to access bloglines and blogger popper up at the same time so I ended up typing it here. But it could be spy lingo. Should I quote to you from Burn Notice which is becoming one of my Favorite! Shows! Ever! Yes, I should.


Michael Westen: I've found that if you ever need to make fake C4, cake icing, or fondant, as it is known in the baking world, works the best.


That might not be an exact quote but still, how can you not love this? Michael is the perfect man, handsome, deadly and with a good sense of humor. And then there is Sam, played by my beloved Bruce Campbell (I have many beloved actors. Deal with it). Keem says this show is like McGyver for spies because Michael is always doing this little voiceovers about how you can make powerful magnets to destroy an enemy's computer or make a listening device from a cell phone. Don't know whether it would work or not but still, lots of fun.


Anyway, let's move away from Burn Notice and concentrate on other stuff...

• I did not get the job I last applied for, as an Account Associate. This is okay. I had pretty much decided if I didn't get it, I would be fine. I love my department and really want to stick around and not move to another floor.
• My manager, new Cheryl, got the position. So she is a job thief and an abandoner! She giggles every time I tell her this. It is fun.
• NABABNA recently accquired some new business so we are growing as a Stock Transfer department. Because of that, there are tons of new positions opening up. Keem has applied for 3 of them, I have applied for one - Quality Assurance. I love QA. It is the most important part of customer service, as far as I'm concerned. If you aren't providing the right information, it doesn't really matter what you do. I had my interview today. Keem is going to have a casual interview for the Team Manager position today, I wish her much luck. There's also a training position she is interested in and one for another department but I don't understand what they do. Anyway, please send the bloggy mojo my way!
• I put my pills in front of my computer so now, when the little reminder goes off, I look at it and then at my pills. Now that they are not hiding it the drawer, it is easier to remember them.

Anyway, that's pretty much it. I'll be making the blog rounds in the next day or so. Hope you're all well!

10 reasons why I want to go back to bed (and a few reasons why I'm staying up)

Numbers are why I'm in a mood. Letters are why my mood is lessening.

1. People are cranky. Yes, I understand we are busy. Yes, I understand that we made a mistake. How about you shut up long enough for me to do my job, bad word that starts with a b? Huh? You think you can do that? And offering to buy reading glasses for the Approval department is not making me want to help you.

2. Lady, I am sorry that you had to wait on the phone but no, there is not a way that we can get the automated system to recognize that you are calling from Ohio. The recording is going to give you the address. No one is saying you have to come here to get the direct deposit form. And, you know what? If you shut your trap, maybe I'll order it for you.

3. I want Mountain Dew. Eric was supposed to buy me Mountain Dew. He says he forgot but I am thinking he is one of those "Dana needs to eat/drink healthy" people. Grr. And, yes, I am too lazy to go and get it myself. What's your point?

A. Free breakfast today. There was bacon. I love bacon. Bacon is quite possibly the most perfect meat.

4. Just figured out that I forgot to take my pills for the last couple days. Hmm. Could be behind the crankiness. I really need to come up with a better system other than having people say "Oh my God, you're being such a bitch. Take your pills." You'd think the Outlook reminder I set up would be enough.

B. Josh is 4 today. I get to go to Chuckie Cheese and see my seriously excited nephew. This should be cool. I hope there are decent video games.

5. I haven't done laundry in approximately two weeks. I am not looking forward to it. I'm supposed to it tonight but Kari frowned on the thought of me missing Josh's birthday for laundry. I suppose I can do a load or two before she comes to pick me up.

C. Remember the crazy woman from a few weekends ago? Yeah, turns out that her boyfriend lives on the 24th floor, not the 27th and he's in the process of being evicted. So I got asked to go to court tomorrow with the office staff in case the judge has questions about what happened. I get off of work early AND get to see our justice system in process. This is awesome.

6. My lunch is almost over. I am less than pleased. Lunch should last forever. I need to find out a way to get paid for blogging and playing Age of Empires. Any suggestions?

D. I could only come up with 6 reasons for being cranky. This is good.

E. It's customer service week at work. Monday was Red and Blue day. I got bored holding for the help desk and decided to color my gray hair with a blue marker. And I colored one eyebrow red and one blue. And I drew little red and blue circles all over my hands. Yesterday was pajamas day so I wore pajamas and put my CO Bigelow Purifying Clay mask all over my face. Today is sports day. We were supposed to dress up and show our support for our favorite teams. My favorite team? The X-Men. Super Heroism can be considered a sport. I bought florescent hair color in yellow (looks more green) and did the X-Men logo in eyeliner on my cheeks. Apparently customer service week means Draw on Dana's face! Works for me.

Hope you're all having a better day than I am. Although I do feel better now. Venting really does work for me.

Saint Paul Ink

So last night Beth and I went to Octoberfest at the Happy Gnome and it was, in a word, awesome. There was roast pig and music (granted, it was Martin Zeller and while he appears to be very talented, he sounds like Bob Dylan. But in a less annoying way (I am not overly fond of Bob Dylan). However, this made him difficult to understand. The guitar playing was nice, though) and people watching. There was beef brisket as well. Yummy beef brisket. I did not eat a bun with my pork or brisket. I did have potato salad because, damn it, I like it.

Plus Bryan and Liz were there and we like them. The Happy Gnome is the restaurant that Liz works at and Bryan was helping out by selling beer. There was lots of beer. I don't understand the concept of beer but apparently it is important to have at Octoberfest. There were 4 beers that were called Something Octoberfest. That's just not very original, people. I was intrigued by the New Holland Pumpkin Ale but then I remembered that Ale, like Beer, is disgusting. Bryan had a pumpkin on his table that had a hole and the word Tips carved into it. Apparently people would walk by, see the pumpkin and decide to tip him, even if they didn't buy beer from him. He's quite ingenious. Beth and I also tipped him. Because he gave me milk duds (well, that's not why we tipped him but he is our friend and we would have bought beer from him except that it is disgusting).

We were supposed to hook up with Liz and James after Octoberfest so Beth and I decided to drive around, looking for something to do. Our something to do ended up that we drove around and looked at businesses (they fascinate me. It's so intriguing to look at a name of something and wonder why they do. I mean, the ones that aren't called such and such Chiropractic) and I babbled a lot and Beth laughed at me.

DM: We could go to Minneapolis and get our palms read.
B: We could.
DM: I'm sure they have a psychic somewhere.

Later...

DM: I really want to go get my palm read now.
B: Hmm. Let me see your palm.

I extend my hand.

B: I see you have a long life line and you would have more money if you stopped spending it on frivolous things.
DM: True.
B: Oh, and your love line starts later so that's why you haven't met the right guy yet. I'm pretty good at this.
DM: Yes, yes you are.

DM: Breadsmith. I bet they make bread there. Ooh. Pumpkin bread. That's the problem. I can't just walk in there and buy a loaf of pumpkin bread.
B: Because you would eat the entire loaf of bread?
DM: Yes.
B: Well, it could be worse. You could buy a loaf of pumpkin bread and then eat a loaf of onion bread. That would be disturbing (or confusing. I don't hear well).

DM: We could go to the tatto shop and I could pick out my next tattoo.
B: What about my next tattoo?
DM: Oh, your tattoo too.
B: Laughs.

We then start saying tattoo too, tattoo too over and over again. Because we are dorks.

And then we started playing 20 questions. After about 40 questions, I was about ready to hit her because I could not figure out who the person she was talking about was.

DM: Let's go stalk James. I bet he would know.

James calls. Beth is talking to him.

DM: Give me the phone.

Beth does.

DM: Okay, we're playing 20 questions and Beth is driving me crazy. I need a famous actress who is blonde, married to a famous actor and is on a cable television show.
James: Kyra Sedgewick. The Closer.
DM: Kyra Sedgewick? Kyra Sedgewick? She picks Kyra frickin' Sedgewick? Oh my God. Who is she married to?
James: Kevin Bacon.
DM: What? Kevin Bacon? I didn't know Kevin Bacon was married. No one told me.
James: I am sorry they did not announce their wedding to you.

I went on in this vein for quite some time. Beth giggled. James laughed at me. I might have sworn some more.

We did not meet up with James and Liz but instead drove around some and laughed and played more 20 questions and had a great time. It was a good night. Did you have a good weekend? Was Kyra Sedgewick involved? Did you know she was married to Kevin Bacon?

Updated:

Also, from co-worker Eric, the following conversation.

DM: Pig got married this morning.
Eric: Who?
DM: Pig!

Pig, for those of you not in the know, is my piggy bank. I wrote a haiku about him once. I bought him because I was going to use him to save up for my trip to Vegas for my sister's wedding. Haiku is as follows.

I have a piggy.
His name is Elvis Vegas.
But I call him Pig.

Anyway, last night at Super Target, I saw Pigette (she is pink and is wearing a tiarra and a tutu (I can't find a picture of her online. Stupid Target)). Quite adorable.

Eric comes and looks at Pig and Pigette, standing proudly next to each other.

Eric: You know, sometimes I come here and I am in real world (walks towards where Co-worker John and Co-worker Rykken sit) and then Fairy World (walks towards my cubicle). Real world, Fairy World.
DM: You know I'm blogging this, right?
Eric. Figured.