Friday, March 14, 2008

I'm back in the office

Hello all.

I'm back at work after my glorious vacation and the procedure that took place on the 12th. Sorry for not updating you sooner.

Vacation was fun. Procedure (endometrial ablation) went smoothly. Except for one or two minor details.

Here is something that I would recommend you not do if you ever think that you might need surgery at some point in your life.

Get your "nether regions" pierced.

Why? Because apparently you cannot wear jewelry while in the operating room because it could cause a spark and there could be a fire. While my earrings were easy enough to remove, the lower piercing took some work. I was not able to remove it myself so you can imagine my sister's reaction when she was shown into my room by the nurse.

Nurse: She's having some difficulty removing a piercing and needs some help.
Kari: Where exactly is this piercing?
DM: Um, hi.
Kari: Oh, God, no.

Unfortunately this resulted in much pain from Kari trying to unscrew it and so I had to ask Doctor Jory (not Joy, remember) to do so. He decided to wait until I was sedated. Probably a wise decision.

Since I have sleep apnea, the person in charge of anesthesia (I know what they're called but I can't remember how to spell it so deal with this) thought it would be best to do a combination of sedating me and giving me something for pain instead of a "general." He offered to do a nerve blocker but I didn't think that was such a great idea. It just sounds scary.

Sedation worked well. Apparently I started singing when they put me under. This does not surprise me at all. I remember them bringing me into the surgery room and saying "Okay, Dana, it's going to be kind of chilly and bright in here" and my response was "Oh, thank God, I'm finally comfortable." I had been hot before. They've never actually had that reaction. Most people complain about the cold.

Also I apparently started coughing during the procedure and instruments shot out. This also doesn't surprise me. I mean, it's me, right? Obviously there has to be some sort of adventure involved.

The piercing was removed safely. I may scrapbook it. Because that's the kind of person I am.

I was not kept overnight, they let me go at about 5:30 because, even though my oxygen levels started dropping every time I started falling asleep (I was so damn bored!), every thing else was fine. And hello, I have sleep apnea, of course my oxygen levels fall when I am sleepy. Kari, Josh and I had a lovely dinner at Key's Café.

The only problem at all is that Wednesday night I started breaking out in hives on my neck. I took Tylenol PM which has Benadryl in it so the itching stopped shortly after that. I just have some lovely scratch marks on my neck. They are very pretty.

Patti, no, I did not go any where warm on vacation. Beth and I were going to go to Canada to take pictures of a frozen waterfall but, because it was snowing so badly on Monday, we instead decided to go to Duluth and take pictures of a frozen lake. Why? Because we are crazy. I'll be loading pictures soon. There was at one point where I thought "If I can get the picture I want, it doesn't matter if I lose my finger." You'll be happy to know that, while I didn't get the shot, I didn't lose my finger either." My mom was worried that Beth and I were taking pictures underneath a bridge because apparently that's where the homeless people hang out in Arizona. She needed to be reminded that you don't find many homeless people under the bridges in March, at least not in Duluth.

It was a great birthday. I do not feel 41. I barely feel a day over 39. Pictures soon!

Oh, since NPW asked, the "nether regions" piercing is not new. I've had it for many, many years. I don't know how many years this has been, however. Possibly 8 or 9? Kari asked me why I ever would possibly think that this piercing was a good idea and when I replied that it was supposed to increase sexual pleasure, wanted to know if this was true. And then I had to say "How would I know? It's not like I've had sex since I've had it."

Oh again. When I had to have a pre-op physical on Monday (thanks to Beth for rushing me to the doctor so I could get this done because I swear this was the first time I had heard of it), I was told I needed to give a urine sample so they could perform a pregnancy test. I know. Apparently this has to be done for legal purposes to make sure they don't accidentally do an abortion but um, if someone tells you they haven't had sex this Millennium, wouldn't you take their word for it? Sheesh.