As a born again Christian, I find that I am in a small minority. That minority is called "People that believe that Jesus is their savior but don't believe that means they should Lord (hee, pun intended) it over everyone because that's not what Jesus had in mind, you hypocritical jack ass. And yes, George W. Bush, I'm talking to you."
It's a wordy name for a minority but I kind of like it.
Anyway, I saw this on Overheard in New York and, as I said, it made me snort.
Everybody's Saved. Now Could Somebody Buy Me Breakfast?
Uptight middle-aged evangelist woman: You are all sinners. Jesus Christ is coming and you are all going to be condemned to hell.
Toothless eighty-year-old hobo: I'm Jesus.
Uptight middle-aged evangelist woman: Jesus is coming and you all will be dining with Satan.
Toothless eighty-year-old hobo: I'm already here. I'm Jesus.
Uptight middle-aged evangelist woman: No you aren't.
Toothless eighty-year-old hobo: I'm telling you, I'm Jesus. How do you know I'm not Jesus?
NYU hipster: My lord! You have returned!
Personally, I think Satan might be an interesting dining companion.