So my mother found out about my being diabetic. Kari hadn't wanted to tell her because she was afraid of how Mom would react (Mom has a tendency to panic about stuff). I didn't want to tell her because I knew it would lead to lectures so I was okay with that.
Well, the other night I get a call from Mom. I say hi and the first thing out of her mouth is "Is there something you need to tell me?" Uh, no. We then spent the next ten minutes where she lectured me about how I need to have the gastric bypass (um, that's my choice, mother) and how she was going to send me stuff.
DM: NO! Don't send me anything! That's why I didn't want to tell you!
Mom: Why not?
DM: Because you'll send me 453 pamphlets about this!
Apparently Kari let the cat out of the bag when Mom was telling her they needed to have an intervention for me because of my weight. I am now planning an intervention for my mother because she is obviously on crack. Mom immediately panicked and started filling Kari's head with all of these statistics and how I have to be very careful and could lose a leg and blah, blah, blah.
This has now led Kari to calling me now and asking me what my level was. And why don't I go back to the doctor because I need to be on insulin? Because she talked to someone who said something.
This morning, Keem threatened to call Kari because I was going to have a can of yummy, yummy Mountain Dew. I called her bluff and called Kari myself. Big mistake. Huge.
DM: I'm going to have a Mountain Dew.
Kari: Oh? Why would you choose to do that to yourself?
DM: Because it is yummy.
Kari: I think you need to think about your nephew. How would he feel if you died because you had that Mountain Dew (she may not have been that dramatic but she's really good at the guilt now that she's a mother)?
DM: Whatever. I'm drinking it.
I take a sip. Hmm. Something seems to be off here.
DM: Beau? Do you want my Mountain Dew? I only took a sip of it.
DM: Because it doesn't taste right to me. I blame my sister.
DM: I hope you are happy. You have made Mountain Dew taste like guilt.
Kari: I am. And your nephew will be happy as well. Now set up an appointment with your doctor. I'll take the day off and go with you.
DM: Okay. And then you can tell her you think I need insulin.
Kari: No. You WILL tell her that.
Is it any surprise to you that her nickname when we were growing up was Brat? Or Bug? I think I'm going to start calling her that again.
And, for the record, my level's pretty good today. Don't panic!