Woe is Me and Other Tales of Dana

Title Story

So the powers that be at NABABNA have decided that you cannot blog at work. I’m not sure why. Probably something to do with the fact that they hate me (well me and everyone else who has a blog).

Now, here’s the thing. I’ve known this for awhile. But I am a rebel, baby, and no one can keep me down. Even though Keem kept threatening to call the Ethics Line on me, I kept posting away at work because, hello, really, really fast Internet access and a keyboard that can keep up with the speed that I type (we now have broadband so I can’t use the first excuse anymore but Keem’s keyboard sticks and doesn’t seem to believe that there should be spaces between words or that keyboard is not spelled kybord).

Anyway, one of my co-workers overheard me talking to Co-Worker Jessica last week and panicked on my behalf.

CWJ: You don’t start until 9:30, right? Why are you here so early?
DM: Right. But Keem’s been putting in overtime. I’m going to start now though, because I don’t have any more posts to read today.

Unnamed Co-Worker (UCW): Posting? Are you blogging? You could get into a lot of trouble for that. I got written up.
DM: Oh. Well, then I guess I’ll stop. Dagnabit.

I’m not sure how I’m going to fill my break and lunch time at work now. I am all caught up on transcripts. I stopped making bookmarks because I got promoted and didn’t have time in between calls anymore. I suppose I could make them at lunch time because I can’t find half of the ones I made (which, of course, is the whole reason why I made them in the first place, because I lose bookmarks constantly, usually by leaving them in whatever book I was reading. I have found some favorite bookmarks three years later when I decide to reread a book). There are a few sites that I can still read at work because I just pull them up in www.bloglines.com because of lovely, lovely RSS feeds. I don’t know what I would do without my daily Dilbert fix.

Anyway, I will make the rounds to your blogs on weekends now. I have not forgotten about you. I still adore you all but am forced to comply with the rules now. Stupid rules.

Oh! And to make everything even more fun for me, when we get really busy, I have to take phone calls. And not Help Desk calls which I enjoy (except the screaming ones. I am not fond of being screamed at) but regular calls. Regular “What’s my cost basis” calls. Not that I’ve had a cost basis call yet but I know they are out there. Lurking. Possibly in the freezer with the vampires.

Preparing himself for a lifetime of working in Corporate America

I was talking to my sister the other day and could hear Josh in the background talking about cookies.

Kari: My son’s quite the entrepreneur.
DM: What’s he doing?
Kari: Baking cookies. He’s told me that he’s going to open up a cookie shop and have a website at www dot com.*
DM: That’s cute. Let me talk to him.
Josh: Hello?
DM: Hi, Josh. Are you baking cookies?
Josh: Yes. I am making lots and lots of cookies.
DM: That’s good. Are they yummy?
Josh: Yes. Mumble, mumble, toddler speak, something or another.
DM: Okay.
Kari: Did you hear what he said?
DM: No.
Kari: He said “I work in a box.”
DM: What?

I was worried that Josh had turned into the Ralph Wiggum of his generation (“I sleep in a drawer.”) but apparently, he commandeered the box my Christmas present came in (a humidifier! Lucky me! Although I actually got $50 in gift certificates to Barnes and Noble from them as well so I am not complaining about the practical gift. Well, not much) and turned it into his bakery. Have I mentioned how brilliant and imaginative the nephew is? I’m sure I have before but in case I haven’t; my nephew is brilliant AND imaginative.

*The brilliant part is that he is four and already understands that the Internet requires the www, dot and the com. Just not the filler part. How many four year olds know that? He’s brilliant for many other reasons but what kind of proud aunt would I be if I didn’t brag about my nephew?

Oh and Kari told me what she wanted for Christmas. Legos. My sister has turned into a Lego junkie. I realize she is playing with Josh but who asks for Legos when they are over the age of 8? Or perhaps I am not aware of the power of Legos. Hmm. Perhaps I should research this by purchasing a small Lego set of my own. Although Lord knows I do not need anymore stuff at my desk.

Keem, I was dying but now I am not

Anyway, that’s what’s been going on. Nothing much. I’ve been sick forever and am finally (knock fake wood) on the road to recovery. I went to the Minute Clinic last week (which actually, as Keem and I discovered, is more like the 60 Minutes Clinic because I ended up waiting forever). Turns out I didn’t have strep but instead had sinusitis (which I cannot pronounce and keep referring to cyanideitis or syninenineitis). This is, apparently, when all the mucus in the world decides to take up residence in your head and then drip ever so slowly down your throat which causes the sore throat. So, after lots and lots of drugs, the mucus left my head and took up residence in my lungs for a few days. Yay me! I love mucus!

But the sore throat is finally gone, I can breathe again (more the most part) and night is not a exercise in futility with trying to use my CPAP.

How are all of you?

And no, I didn't break the rules, this post was my first email post! Isn't technology wonderful? Now if I could only comment by email…which, yes, I know I could send you all emails but I like to actually comment on posts themselves. I figure since I'm a comment junkie you probably all are as well.