Everyone wants to be me

I live in a whirlwind of excitement. Here's why:

• So we come home from work and Keem is refilling the treat bag (gallon size Glad bag that we pour a variety of crunchy treats into so it is mixed properly for Eddy (he's spoiled. We admit it). Kalli is circling around Keem's ankles, trying her best to convince us that she is starving and no one feeds her and she has to scramble for crumbs because we are so mean and cruel to her. And then she leaps! And grabs on to Keem's shorts for dear life, her back claws digging into Keem's leg. The next thing I know, Kalli is hanging straight down, her front paws holding on to Keem's shirt. Keem is saying "Ow, ow, ow! Cat! Ow!" And I am in the kitchen, watching all of this. Do I run into the living room to save Keem? No. I am laughing hysterically and wishing I had my camera handy.
• Kalli discovered how to get on top of the Entertainment Center last night. But she does not know how to get down and sits there and mews. So I rescued her. And about 15 minutes later, when I am in bed, sleeping like a normal person, I hear a crash. She has knocked over the shelf the VHS tapes are on (eventually we will get rid of them. It's not like we have hooked up the VCR in this apartment) and is back on the Entertainment Center. Still hasn't figured how to get down. I rescuse her again. Hmm. Perhaps I should move the small table she's using to leap up onto the DVD rack and from there the Entertainment Center. That would be smart.
• Keem just opened a box from Swiss Colony and is singing "I've got a box of mixed nuts, diddly dee" (to the tune of "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts", in case you were confused). Hee!
• If you thought getting the Despair.com catalog was the highlight of my month, you would be wrong. Clearly it was the Mustard Museum newsletter. Featuring a picture of the owner dressed as Edward Splatterhands. Wish I which I could find on their website because it is seriously funny and would creep out James (the guy's hands are dripping with mustard).

Who needs depressing poetry written at the height of my angsty years when you have all of this, right? My life is so full.

• Oh, and also, when my mom asked me if I was still taking Meridia and if it worked, I said no, my prescription ran out and it worked when I remembered to take it. Her response? "Oh, Dana, you're a big girl." Um, yeah, that's why I was taking a diet aid! I know that's not how she meant it but still, work on the phrasing there, mother.