For Beth because she needs something to read

I am working on a post right now. It is called "D'oh! A Deer!" Marvel at my cleverness with the title. Take a moment. I'll wait. Okay, are you back now? Good.

Anyway, emailing Beth back and forth today and she indicated that she needed something to read and wanted me to post something (FOR THE LOVE OF GOD (she may indicate that she did not use either those exact words or the all caps but it was implied. Right here where she says "I just want stuff to read. Please???" Do you see the three ??? question marks? She is calling out to me in pain)).

We have been very busy at work. Crazy busy. With the nutty customers calling and yelling and really, really ticking me off but then I remember that I used to be a supervisor and am a mature adult (please stop choking. It hurts me when you mock my maturity in this manner) and therefore I do not mapquest their address and drive to their house and kill them in horrible, horrible ways. Which, actually, I probably shouldn't kid about because you just know that one of these people will get killed in a horrible, horrible way and I'll get blamed for it. But then I'll be able to prove that I was obviously kidding because I talked about driving to their house and as you all know, I don't drive. Or, actually, it is more like that while I can drive a vehicle, it scares the heck out of me and I don't have a liscense and I really can't think of anyone I know who would let me borrow their car to go and kill someone. Except maybe Tim Allen in Big Trouble (you have to actually see Big Trouble to understand this reference. You should probably go watch it now. It is one of my favorite movies but I have many favorite movies so you may not like it. But I will still like you, even though your sense of humor is not like mine. And since Firebear has actually seen it and made a reference to it in a comment about an earlier post, he gets bonus points).

Last weekend I did lots of fun and exciting things. I just don't remember what they are now. I do know that on Sunday I went to karaoke (Gasp! Dana likes karaoke? We never knew!) with Beth and it was fun. Those of you who read Beth's blog are aware of THE BOY situation and will be very happy to know that she may or may not have a date with him on Saturday. I say may not simply because the invitation to meet at a bar did not come directly from THE BOY but from his friend, however THE BOY did second the invitation and also sat next to Beth while we were at karaoke and did not run away when she mentioned enemas. Believe me when I tell you that this is too weird for me to explain and you'll be better off reading the post she wrote about it. Go there now.

The reason that I've not been blogging as much is because a) the crazy busy part I mentioned earlier and b) the fact that I was busted last week. It's actually an amusing story so if you haven't read it, you should. And then you should comment and tell me how much you miss me. Because I miss you. I may not be able to comment all the time but I really do miss you. And I am still reading avidly.

Lioness, I tried to do the audio blogger thing on Sunday. Bryan was singing something incredibly wonderful and I wanted to capture it for the world but it didn't work. Maybe I did something wrong. I am sorry. Please know that I have been thinking about you and will try to comment more than I did today.

I've found three new blogs from Dooce. One of them, Emotional Toothpaste, was given what she described as being the ultimate shout out, a "Reading" mention on Dooce's site. She had written an ode to her winter coat and once I had visited the site, I was amused by what I had found. You know me. I am all about the funny and have added her to my blog roll. The other two blogs were found through the comments they left on the daily picture. Disney Mike had mentioned something about his dog Taffy and how his wife wanted to dress her up for Halloween as Dracula and call her Taffula. I check back frequently for some beautiful photography. These pictures are gorgeous so if you need something beautiful to uplift your day, I'd recommend his site. And then today, I found All Eyes On Jenny. Her comment said she had been "Dooced" ( You may or may not know that Dooce once lost a job because her employer found her blog) by a company she had applied at. She showed them her graphic arts online profile and they read her blog and said she was not presenting a corporate enough image. Yeah. 'Cause she's not a corporation. She's a person. I like her blog and she is very talented. If I was extremely rich and knew the first thing about applying images onto a blog, I'd ask her to design something for Moron Mouth. After clearing it with Beth and Keem first, of course. SMRC tried to explain it to me and I got so lost (I really like her blog as well, she works in a call center and understands us, she crochets (jealous of that because of the carpal tunnel, can't crochet. Sadness) and scrapbooks.

DeAnn, I loved your comment about thinking that I had to be making stuff, no one's life could be this funny re the last post I did. I will say that, while I don't make up things, I do have a tendency to be a wee bit dramatic (You're shocked by this, aren't you? I know. Me. Dramatic. Who would ever think that) and so I will embellish for the sake of entertainment. I love to make people laugh and I seriously think that if it wasn't for the fact that pain is not something I enjoy experiencing, I would try to do something to top the Fish Hook Saga. All for your entertainment.

Okay, it's near 7 PM and it's time for me to start logging off. Keem wants me to go and start the car because she is working overtime and I am using this extra time to read blogs and work on the post I'm writing now. Then we are going to the grocery store. I know it's not very exciting but maybe someone will ram me with their cart and we can have a rumble in the parking lot. I'll see what I can do. Just remember that when I get arrested that I'm doing it all for your amusement, Internet, and I'll expect you to be forthcoming with the money for bail.

Love you all. Yes, Matt, even you. I was only kidding. Sheesh.

Previous Comments:

At 12:54 AM, brooksba said...
Yea! A post!Finally! I am so DM deprived. I think I'm addicted to Green Duckies and you forced me to go cold turkey. Not a good thing when this girl is already sick. Massive shock to my system. I can't wait for the "D'oh! A Deer!" post. I have heard this story before and it's terrificly funny. I think I just made up a word. If I have more than 3 question marks, will that produce more posts? If so:????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????It's worth a shot, I guess.Love you!Beth
At 2:06 PM, DeAnn said...
Heh. Beth is hilarious!! And also, so are you.But never dramatic! I can't believe that!
At 6:52 PM, Firebear said...
Yea! I got points!