Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Trip to Tomah to talk to Texan! - Tale Two

Tale One is here.

This is mainly some more of the random and bizarre things Beth and I came across on our way to and from Tomah to meet Mark. Since this trip, Beth and I have both discovered that we are ill (she has the cold from hell, I seem to want to pass out every time I move) so this may have something to do with the oddness.

DM: Okay, I thought that said fart for sale.
B: What did it say?
DM: Farm for sale. I was thinking "Who the fuck would buy a fart?"

As we drove past a field, I had noticed the patterns caused by the farm thingies when they harvest the corn or whatever they do. "I want a crop circle," I said. Beth, for no reason, thought that I might be insane.

DM: Why is it, when we drove by those houses, I wanted to say "Beauty, eh?"
B: Because you've turned Canadian?

The billboard for the Norske Nook was odd enough but this one is Odden! Odden's Norske Huskflid. What the heck is a huskflid?

A convertible had driven by us and I was a little upset over the fact that their Pet Taxi had been turned so it was lying at an angle, almost upside down. I can't remember exactly what I had said but Beth and I had a conversation about the fact that it's not actually a small taxi for pets but the brand name of a pet carrier. Then, out of nowhere, she said the following:

B: You do know that the stems of cherries are wood, right?
DM: Yeah.
B: And yet, you still eat them.
DM: Well, yeah, because they have the maraschino flavor.
B: So they're pickled wood. They're still wood.
DM: What made you think of this?
B: The Pet Taxi. Weird things you've said and done.
DM: Okay.
B: You eat the wood.
DM: I like trees.
B: You eat them! You hug them and you eat them! Stop loving your food!

I'd like to say that our conversation became very mature and not at all silly but you all know I'd be lying. Mainly we talked about how I eat wood, how Beth told her father about this:

DM: I can't believe you told your Dad I ate the wood!
B: Well, I didn't put it that way. I just said you ate cherry stems and he thought that was kind of weird.

I also thought I should bring up this to defend my wood eating ways:

DM: I used to eat cardboard.
B: Oh, yeah. That's normal.
DM: And paper.
B: What?
DM: Paper is very nutritious.
B: No, it's not! It's paper!
DM: Yes, yes, it is. There are lots of vitamins in it. There's vitamin P.
B: Vitamin Paper? You're weird.

I asked Bobby if he thought it was weird that I ate the cherry stems at karaoke on Sunday. He said yes. Apparently, I am weird. Who knew?