ARRGH! Alternatively titled in which Dana is not having a great weekend (or I guess we would say week, wouldn't we?)

Okay, may I just take this time to complain about stuff? May I please? I try not to spend a lot of time complaining about stuff (shut up, Keem. You don't read my blog anyway. Not that I would ever complain about that. Because I'm not a complainer) and maintain a positive and happy attitude and spread joy to all those I come across. I think I do a pretty good job about that. But today I am kind of cranky. But not really cranky because that would be bad and defeat the whole spreading of joy mission statement I have (okay, no, I don't really have a mission statement but really, don't you think it might be a good idea, as Queen of the Universe, if I had one? I'll have to think about this).

Anyway, there is going to be a post soon of Operation Eye Cancer, in which Beth, Char and myself attempted to doctor my eye which has a suspicious lump in it. There will be a photo essay of the hilarity that ensues when you go to Super America looking for medical supplies. Because they have none. I swear that all of this will make sense to you soon. But, for now, just keep in mind that I'm not dying. Yet. Apparently it is a cyst or, if the word cyst scares you like it does everyone else, an infected duct of some sort. Said cyst is the size of a grain of rice and it really hurts to try and focus on things so I am wearing a patch. Yes. Just call me Pirate Dana. Or Slurricane Dana of the Seven Seas. But, again, ignore this because that's not what I want to complain about. Or, well, I do, but it will be so much more fun when there will be accompanying pictures.

I still have leprosy (not really leprosy, just extremely dry skin) and, even though I went to the doctor yesterday, I forgot to ask about it. Instead we concentrated on my not eye cancer and the fact that I needed a prescription for Provera because of a horribly disgusting condition that I have. Let's put it this way, most women have a monthly visitor. I have a visitor that never goes away. Never. Sometimes this visitor sleeps a lot and doesn't make a big fuss or cause much of a problem. And sometimes this visitor has a party and invites a lot of friends and destroys the house. There's an actual name for it but I can never remember what it is (abnormal uterine bleeding?) and like to refer to it as BLOODY HELL! (with exclamation point).

Moving up to the counter has been both a blessing and a curse. Curse first - my carpal tunnel, which only is aggravated by writing with a pen as opposed to typing, has been acting up because there is a lot of paperwork to fill out (in triplicate) and only so much of it can be printed off the computer. Today I took a request to transfer stock and it was a total of 12 transfers, which is 3 forms to fill out. Ouch. Hand's a bit numb right now. I bought a brace but that always makes my hand even more numb and I don't like being numb. Numb is bad.

Blessing - I am walking so much more since I've moved. On Friday, I walked about 1.46 miles. 3102 steps. I was exhausted by the end of the day but I still was amazed. A normal day, before the move, would have been .25 miles, IF I went out of my way to walk around more. For some reason, if it is part of my work routine, I don't consider it exercise. Run up and down the steps to other departments to pick up checks and stock certificates? No problem. Walk around the block? Forget about it. The only problem is that my asthma has said "What? What are you trying to do to me, woman? Are you nuts?" Fortunately I do have my inhaler.

And now, complaint 453, which is the most irritating of all my complaints. My computer hates me. It was bad enough when I couldn't load a simple CD or burn a CD. Oh, no. My computer decided that it needed to bring me a token of the love it has for me. That would be not being able to connect to the Internet. No, actually, I can connect to the Internet but it will not pull up any websites unless they are secure sites. So, while I can pull up https:/www.nababanaretirement.com, I cannot pull up www.nababna.com or Blogger or Bloglines or flickr or snapfish or anything I'd like to look at. Fortunately, one of the guys on our tech team told me to bring in my hard drive next week and he'll take a look at it. If he can't fix the CD drive and the Internet, he'll at least try to pull my pictures and music off of it before he reformats it.

So, if you're wondering why I haven't been to your site lately to say hi, it is because I am a profusely bleeding, carpal tunnel suffering, computerless, asthmatic Pirate. But I love you all. Really I do.

My week has to get better, right? Right?*

*Actually, regardless of all of this, I am in a spectacular mood. Can you say "Thank God for Effexor?" I knew you could.