Oh, the frustration - needing some bloggy Mojo

Teri every once in awhile turns to what she calls bloggy Mojo and it seems to work for her pretty well. Now it is my turn.

So. You know how I work for NABABNA in the Stock Transfer Department? Well, for the last four months (maybe longer), I've been helping out with monitoring calls for Quality Purposes. I love this. I was interested in QP back when I worked for NABABNA's bank call center, applied for a position and ended up being Qualified Candidate number 7 when they had 6 jobs. The only reason I didn't get the 6th job was because I didn't speak Mandarin. I know. I mean how picky, right?

Anyway, today there is an email in my mail box that says "Hey, surprise, we're making some changes to the ST department!" One of those changes just happens to be an open position for QP. But there's a catch. Part of the job involves training. Oh, and taking phone calls as needed.

And there, my friends, lies the crux. I don't like training. Or, I guess I should say, I don't have the patientence for training. I get truly frustrated with newbies because they are all afraid to do things and sit around and say "Oh, I can't" or "I don't get this" or "Stop yelling at me, Dana (Okay, no one has actually ever said the last. I rarely ever yell at newbies)." And the person who I'd be assisting is more than aware of this because I told her this. If it was up to me, I would monitor calls from my little corner all day long and not deal with people. That would make me so happy.

And if this wasn't dilemma enough, guess what? There's more! Keem, who is an excellent trainer and patient with people and rarely ever makes them cry, is also interested in the position. She is more interested in the training part than the QP portion. We are both sitting here going "Why? Why couldn't they divide this up into two positions? Why?"

Anyway, I'm going to apply, she's going to apply and I'm sure others will. It's so frustrating. If you all could whisper some quick thoughts to the Mojo gnomes (or whatever they might be) that suddenly the decision will be made to split this into positions and both Keem and I would be hired, that would be great. I'm going to go back to banging my head against my desk. Thanks!

What's really bugging me about this is I dreamt Saturday morning that Keem, Beth and I all applied for the same job (not the one that is open, one as a personal assistant) and Keem was really upset about it because she was convinced she wouldn't get the job (in the dream). Of course, in the dream, I also really didn't want the job and took some extreme actions to make sure I didn't get it. It was very weird.

Hope you all have a great day! And weekend! Still working on questions for Beth and Sheryl. Brain is frozen.

Another Interview Meme - this one from Diana

I have managed to come up with questions for Patti & Teri. I'm working on questions for Beth & Sheryl. It's interesting trying to come up with good questions for people. Do I just go with wacky weird Dana questions or do I throw some seriousness into it as well? Hmm. I don't know. I'll continue with them this weekend.

Do you all have plans for the weekend? My plans include going to Beth's and scrapbooking and going to karaoke. I will also be cowering in a corner because, due to Co-worker Eric's penchant for Googling World News, I'm a little freaked out. Did you know that some cranky guy in Ukraine is going to use force on some other cranky guy? Force. What the heck does that mean? Is it deadly force? And apparently China has lots and lots of nuclear things we weren't aware of. They may also use force. I'm not sure on whom, he wasn't clear (or I may have been saying "La la la, I can't hear you!" One of the two). And there are also apparently scientists, quite possibly of the mad variety, adding flesh to computers to make cybermots for the military. What the hell is a cybermot? Add to that the news clip I saw while over at the bank where some guy in prison for drinking the blood of his victim had a botched execution (is it ironic that the executioner dudes couldn't find a vein? I get confused about what is actually irony). And Keem says there are no vampires hiding in the freezer. Ha! They're out there.

Okay, to let you escape from my paranoia of possible dive bombing cybermot vampirical natured bats, let us now turn to the list of questions from Diana. Much more sane. Well, sane for me.

1. If you were a piece of candy, any candy, what would you be?

Ooh! The choices are endless. I really love Anise Squares because they are red and pretty and then have that glorious licorice taste. My Dad got me hooked on them years ago and they bring back memories of him and going to Shakey’s for my birthday for bad pizza and singing waiters. I’m fond of chocolate but only if it has fruit and/or nuts in it. I think I would have to say that I am a piece of English Toffee at heart, sweet, brittle and a little nuts.

2. You seem to frequently be at war with your hair, or at least your hair seems to be at war with you. (Which makes for entertaining reading, let me say.) Is it that it whispers "cut me...dye me scarlet..." while you sleep or is all the experimental hair dressing to delight yourself and those of us who adore you?

I’m going to be completely honest with you. I have no clue. I tend to operate strictly on impulse. If something irritates me, I will deal with it without taking a moment to think “Is this the best idea?” In the case of my bangs, they got in my eyes, I didn’t have any clue when I would get my hair cut again and I just said the heck with it. I have trimmed them before and it was a much better result but this last time I just went without the mirror. Do I regret that? No, because I really love my new haircut – it’s cute and easy to deal with.

As for hair color, I get bored with the same thing over and over so I can never understand just covering the gray with the same hair color nature gave you. There are so many fun colors to experiment with. I think it is my way of rebelling against the normalcy of my mother and sister and also a way to fight off depression. Kind of like getting my nose pierced without pain and nose involved.

3. Would you be an eagle or a dolphin and why?

I just saw this documentary on the new aquarium in Spain and there was this whole segment on the dolphins. They looked so happy and were chattering away at their trainer and my heart melted. Also, I am a Pisces, so I would be at home at the water (but then I would be eating my fishy brethren and that would be wrong). But I do enjoy watching eagles soar. Except that Keem and I were on a drive one day and this eagle came swooping down and grabbed something from the medium and it was a squirrel and I said “Run, squirrel, run” and Keem said “It’s doomed, Dana. It won’t be running anywhere.” I don’t want a life where I would be forced to eat squirrels. I could be a dolgle! A flying dolphin. That would be cool. Or would that be an eaghin?

4. You've been decreed to wed one of the characters on any TV show. Which one is the lucky one?

While I am very fond of both Sawyer and Sayid from Lost, my true love is Hiro from Heroes. He’s perfect for me. Loves Star Trek, comic books, is geeky cute – even loves karaoke. If it doesn’t work out between us, I’m starting to really appreciate the somewhat overbearing charm of Hodges from CSI:

5. What is your favorite song to perform for karaoke? Would you perform it for a national audience?

I enjoy singing “Give Me One Reason” by Tracy Chapman. It allows me to get a little bluesy (bluesy might not be the right word but I can’t think what would be) and get into the music more. Would I perform it for a national audience? Of course I would. I love an audience, the more people the better. Singing karaoke reminds me of being on stage when I was in high school. I miss those days. I’m not saying I’m going to try out for America’s Got Talent because I’m an average singer but if someone asked me to sing, I’d do it.

Oh, bloody Hell. It's back (you should probably not read this if you're a man). Plus a meme from Melissa I forgot about.

Not too much detail because it is, well, icky, and I am not feeling that special joy that comes with being a woman right now. But anyway, I took the Provera while Keem and I were on vacation because, when you are traveling, it becomes a problem if you ruin 3 pairs of pants in one day (well, ruin isn't exactly true but who wants to go to the laundromat on vacation?) and only have 5 pairs for the entire trip. Also, when doing laundry by hand, keep in mind that dish soap and laundry soap are not the same and you will become overwhelmed with bubbles when using dish soap.


So this weekend, my special friend decided to come and visit and bring over every other single woman in the world's special friend with him and make my life less than fun. Even though I was with Beth and we were scrapbooking and that is always fun. It was very confusing funwise for me. Anyway, Beth and I are hanging in her living room and I had to run to the bathroom because she made me laugh and that is just not called for (especially right after I sneezed) because sometimes I do something really REALLY SPECIAL! which I refer to as bleeding through and I hate it.

DM: Well, at least it is a black chair in case there's a problem.
B: Oh, sure, and then I'll sit down on the chair wearing my white pants and I'll ruin them because you have your period.
DM: When do you wear white pants?
B: Occasionally. Okay, not since the 80's.

And then I laughed again because that was very funny.


Anyway, yesterday I ended up going home because of cramps (I don't normally get them) and it was not fun and I may have cried when trying to explain this to my boss (but miracle of miracles, she knows because she's been through the same thing and even had to take Provera as well) and I had to take a cab home because I was so not waiting another hour for a bus but Keem gave me Aleve and four tablets later, the cramps were gone and that is just amazing because nothing normally works. Plus, I talked her into going to Olive Garden because I really, really, really love their Zuppa Toscana (Tuscan Soup?) and if any of you know where I can get a recipe for that, I must have it.

In other news (non-icky related), Keem is back from Fargo but she's going to La Crosse this weekend. The cat actually was cuddly with the concierge while we were gone but hid under the bed when Josh was there (not really surprised by that. Josh is a little more familiar with Eddy than he would like). My brat of a sister has a laptop and can work from home now but her supposed "best friend" who hasn't been responding to any of Kari's emails or phone calls decided to end their friendship because Kari didn't email/call on her birthday or mother's day which strikes me as somewhat hypocritical. I'm going to scrapbook with Beth this weekend as well. Work is good. Life is good (well, when I remember to take my Effexor. Need to find a new spot to put it so it jumps out and says "Hey! Remember me! Take me!"). Hope you are all well. Hoping to get around to websites in the next few days. Busy at work. Not allowed. Why is it like Tax Hell right now?

Love to all of you. Send Bloggy Mojo my way so I don't have to deal with this anymore and maybe I can get a hysterectomy. It's not like I plan on using my uterus any time soon.

Meme from Melissa

1. If you couldn't be the Karaoke Queen of The Chalet, what would you do on those nights instead, and what would your new title be?

You mean besides sleep? On Thursday nights, Beth and I don’t usually get up to the Chalet until about 12-12:30 so I would definitely go to bed at a normal time on Thursday and not be ready to die from lack of sleep on Fridays. On Sundays we’d probably meet Liz and James somewhere & talk – it would be hours and hours of after karaoke. My title, of course, would be Queen of the Universe – that would never change.

2. You meet a fantastic man. If you had to pick, would Mr. Fantastic give you A-mind-blowing sex every night and good conversation once a year or B-mind-blowing conversation every night and good sex only once a year? Why?

B – Good conversation every night and good sex only once a year. That’s easy to answer. First of all, I’ve been celibate for years and sex is not that important to you after you make it past the first year, let alone the eighth. Second, there is no way I could ever be with anyone I couldn’t talk to about everything and anything.

3. What is your greatest strength and what is your greatest weakness?

Greatest strength would have to be my ability to find amusement in just about anything. I am constantly entertaining myself with little screen plays that run through my head or things I see or hear or read. I am definitely never bored.

My greatest weakness would either be that, without my friends and family, I would probably starve to death or end up in debtor’s prison. Beth, Keem and my sister Kari are great at keeping me focused. I am not a responsible adult and I am more than aware of that. I’d like to think that I would cook for myself if I needed to but I’m pretty sure I would exist only on Ramen and peanut butter and baloney sandwiches (shut up. They’re pretty good).

4. Name five things you absolutely could not live without. Family, friends, pets and modern conveniences are exempted from your choices here. Be creative. ;)

Zoe (my camera).
Blogger and the people I have met through blogging (IRL & on the web).
Books. Books are the most important thing in the world outside of friends, family, etc. I always have to have something to read.
Karaoke. My soul requires the music (okay, that was weird but we’ll throw actual music in here as well).
Food and water.

5. What are a few things you'd like to either experience or accomplish before you die, and what is the reasoning behind them?

Live in Portugal for at least a year. My reasoning? It’s awesome there.
Travel through Europe. Again with the awesome.
Bring peace and harmony to the world using my patented charm. Because I am awesome.

Apparently I should have put the word awesome on the above list. Dang you, really funny actors on How I Met Your Mother! Dang you!


Don't forget to post the rules!

Leave me a comment saying "Interview me!" I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions. You will update your weblog with the answers to the questions. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Boy, this is kind of a bossy meme, isn't it? You will...you will...you will...you will provide Dana with chocolate (just seeing if you're paying attention).

What not to wear - the Dana version

Okay. So there's this show that I am somewhat addicted to, gee, I wonder if you can figure out what it is from the title of this post. Hmm.

I don't understand what the appeal of this show is to me. I am highly fashioned challenged. I mix multiple colors together with the assumption that "Hey, they're all pink. It works (looking at photos from Portugal have proven to me that no, it doesn't)." However, I've always been really good at deciding what looks well on others. There was a girl I worked with at the dark side bank that used to run around in little tiny mini skirts and I finally snapped one day and said "Cassie. You need to stop that. No one needs to see your goods when you bend over. Wear palazzo pants. You'll thank me later." Of course she didn't have a clue what palazzo pants were & probably didn't appreciate the comment about her goods (no, I didn't put it that way. Well, I don't think I did. This was back in the B.E. (before Effexor) days and I could be blunt on occasion.

Anyway, before Keem and I went on our escapade, we did pay a visit to the wondrous people at Catherine's and I purchased some new clothes. Said new clothes were mostly found on the clearance rack, I have a hard time spending for than twenty dollars per item of clothing (which doesn't work if you want high quality, let me tell you. There is a big difference between clothes purchased at Wal-Mart (not that I would ever, ever shop there) and Catherine's, mainly that Catherine's uses excellent fabric that normally holds up pretty well (until it meets me and I spill something down the front of it (My name is Dana & I am a slob), fits much better and is fairly classy. Do I sometimes regret not being able to find cute tanks and t-shirts with fun graphics on them? Yes. But it is worth it in the long run).

Okay, after long previous paragraph, I'll get to my point. I found two very nice pair of denim slacks on the clearance rack. One pair is brown, one pair is dark green. So my question is, what the hell do I wear with them? Black is always an option, of course, but I try to avoid black because I am also a lint magnet as well as a slob. And I also have a cat with some white fur (Joe, yes, he did recognize us but boy, was he pissed. Keem got the brunt of it with the "Mrroww, I can't believe you abandoned me, mrroww, pet me now, dammit, I don't care if it is 3 in the morning, mrroww" but I did get a lecture as well) and I shed myself. It is not a good feeling to look at your shirt and start picking hairs off of it. I'm not sure why my hair keeps falling out, I've been told it is very healthy and isn't thinning at all, but it does and it is annoying.

I think pink would look good with either but it depends on the color of pink, right? As much as I love pink, I don't have that many pink shirts. I saw Stacy and Clinton pair a light blue shirt with a pair of brown pants so I'm sure that's an option but, if I remember right, they also threw a pair of gold high heels into the mix and I am not going there. I couldn't wear heels before the inserts & now that the inserts are part of my life, I'm really limited in options. Big ugly man sandals in basic black for the summer, a pair of black tennis shoes (that are too big length wise & are driving me crazy!) and a pair of white slip on tennis from Keem that are so comfortable but don't fit the inserts. I wear them when I am sick of the inserts & socks. It's the closest I get to going barefoot now. Did I mention that I can't go barefoot anymore? Did I mention how much that sucks (I should also mention that my knees don't bother me half as much as they did before the inserts, if I take some basic care and watch how I walk down stairs (sideways, clutching the bannister for dear life) but that detracts from the fun of the complaining)? What about green? I asked my semi-fashion guru here (Co-worker Carla. She laughed when I called her my fashion guru but she is always perfectly turned out (and slim. And beautiful. And I hate her a little but she's so damn nice)) about wearing light green with the brown and she said I would probably look like a tree. Since I like trees, is that really all that bad?

And is it a bad idea to buy the same shirt in different colors if you like the way it looks and fits? I now have two shirts that I have three different color of. Well, three if you count the tank tops. I am afraid of what Stacy and Clinton would say if they could get their hands on me. Actually, I wish they would. Would someone please submit my patheticness to them?

Although I did get my hair cut shorter (picture will follow, I promise) before we left since my beloved brother-in-law Eric took one look at the horribly chopped bangs and the shoulder-length hair and said "Why do you have a mullet?" It now comes to just under my jawline and makes my bangs look like they are supposed to be this length. So if I did get on the show, Nick wouldn't have a heart attack.

Before you think that all I do is watch reality TV (I don't. I watch Lost and Heroes and How I Met Your Mother and Whose Line Is It Anyway), I bring to you this meme I found on Teri's site (and will find on Joe's, once I get caught up on blogs):

What Be Your Nerd Type? Your Result: Literature Nerd   Does sitting by a nice cozy fire, with a cup of hot tea/chocolate, and a book you can read for hours even when your eyes grow red and dry and you look sort of scary sitting there with your insomniac appearance? Then you fit this category perfectly! You love the power of the written word and it's eloquence; and you may like to read/write poetry or novels. You contribute to the smart people of today's society, however you can probably be overly-critical of works. It's okay. I understand.
Drama Nerd
Social Nerd
Gamer/Computer Nerd
Musician
Artistic Nerd
Anime Nerd
Science/Math Nerd
What Be Your Nerd Type? Quizzes for MySpace

See! I'm not totally shallow. I like to read! Really I do!

I'm back!

Hello! Did you miss me? Of course you did.

Well, the first order of business is the question everyone at work has been asking:

Where did Keem and I go for vacation?

The answer is we hit every touristy spot we'd ever wanted to go to or had ever heard about or kind of stumbled onto as we were driving to another one.

We did go to Wisconsin but I, not being very organized, left my cell phone with Melissa's phone number in it on the desk. Brilliant, huh? Every time I saw an exit sign for Fond du Lac I would cringe a little.

We went to:

The House on the Rock (bring good walking shoes. And someone to carry you. We spent 4 1/2 hours walking. By the end, we were thinking "Oh, hey, that's a really cool item. Is this tour over yet?"

Little Norway (People moved to Wisconsin from Norway. Apparently they missed Norway. It was cool to look at all the stuff. More walking though. My thighs haven't seen this much action in years. They were not pleased)

The Mount Horeb Mustard Museum (which James was less than thrilled to hear about since he hates all condiments but mustard is his kryptonite, apparently (I bought a t-shirt that says "Friends don't let friend eat k*t*h*p." Awesome. I almost bought the one with the Plochman's mustard bottle (Plochman's, for those of you not in the know, is the best yellow mustard ever. French comes second) that said "Squeeze Me.")

The Jelly Belly Factory Tour (thank God this was on a train. And we got free Jelly Belly beans. Jelly Belly beans are the only Jelly Beans I will eat, other than licorice flavored.

The Milwaukee Zoo (very cool, very big. Once we hit the sea lions/polar bear exhibit, I said "Screw it. Let's go take the train. The train was fun. I have lots of pictures from the train (I also have a sunburn. Not bad but hello, the sunscreen was sitting right by the door. You'd think one of us would remember to grab it))

The Original Wisconsin Ducks ride (been on it once before but Keem hadn't. I recommend to everyone).

The Dells Mining Company (you get to mine for your own gemstones. It's an excuse to play in mud. This was a lot of fun. I want a rock tumbler now).

We also spent some time in with Keem's parents in La Crosse. There was also time spent in motel/hotel rooms watching TV/reading and cursing the pain from the excessive walking. Anyway, believe me when I say there will be pictures. And I will also be around to see what you have all been up to as well.

Did you miss me? I missed you...

Beth's Worst Nightmare & my God, is my cat spoiled

So I admit it. I watch American Idol. I actually kind of even like the show. Granted, I think it is a bit of a joke, with Randy interjecting the word "Dawg" into each sentence 40 times and Paula floating on her "oh life is so wonderful and filled with Care Bears and Rainbows and la la la" cloud. The only person who ever says anything remotely interesting is Simon and people boo him the moment he opens his mouth. And no, the fact that I think Simon is hot has absolutely nothing to do with my defense of him. Nothing. Also, for your safety, please do not get me started on Ryan Seacrest and his annoying hair and "oh, aren't I so funny" and "look at me, I'm just a pretty boy who thinks I am talented but we all know I'm really not but look - I'm pretty" attitude. I don't like Seacrest. Okay?

Anyway, Idol is becoming interesting. Sanjaya is finally gone, the top 6 people left are going to become top 4 tonight, we're getting close to the end.

Last night was (sorry, Beth) Bon Jovi night.

Keem: Are you okay?
DM: Yeah. Why?
Keem: You don't seem enthused.
DM: Yeah, Bon Jovi is really, really popular at karaoke. I'm a little scared.

By this I mean that anyone who grew up in the 80's or ever saw Young Guns absolutely has to sing Bon Jovi. At least once. Some of them aren't bad (Marian sings Bed of Roses and is awesome) and some of them are terrible. Sometimes there is screaming. Not all of the screaming comes from the stage. Some of it is in my head (Shut up! Shut up! For the Love of God, shut up!).

However, last night was pretty good. Jon Bon Jovi was mentoring the Idols and looks much better now that he has short hair (I may love the hair bands of the 80's but I don't really like the hair).

The two performances that really stand out for me were from Blake and Melinda. Keem and I have been rooting for Melinda from the beginning and about 3 weeks ago I turned to her and said "I would go see her in concert now." She sang "Have a Nice Day" and it was fantastic. I don't know how else to describe it. She was hard rock and flirty with the guitar player and spectacular. I really believe she could win this. I've felt that way from the beginning.

But Blake. Oh my God. Blake. Blake with his freshly dyed black hair and his beat boxing and the leather jacket and the cool, kind of robot like moves and then the drumming duel between him and the drummer? He took "You Give Love a Bad Name" and made it fresh and new and Randy was right. Dude. That was hot. Keem and I had to watch it a second time, thanks to the miracle of DVR. I think it is going to be between Melinda and Blake and I am torn right now because I really want them both to win. They both took the songs and made them their own. It was wonderful. It was like watching Bryan sing Prince or Neil Diamond or anything and twisting it around to fit him. Beth might even have liked it. If she didn't run screaming the minute she saw that I wrote Bon Jovi.

And, in other news, remember my cat? Eddy? The one that loves only Keem? Yeah, I have just realized how spoiled he is. How did I find that out? By sending an email to the concierge in my building, explaining the care and feeding of Eddy. This is the email.

Kristin,

Thanks for getting back to me. Here is a list of Eddy's demands, I mean regular routine. And yes, I am aware that he is spoiled.

Dry cat food and water dish will be in the kitchen. Dry cat food is kept filled but doesn't need anything put in on a daily basis, just when it starts to get low. Believe me, he would rather have the wet food on a constant basis.

Wet cat food is usually once in the morning and once in the afternoon but he will not perish if he only gets the wet food once a day. He may act like it but he'll be fine. If you can stop by twice a day, awesome, if not, that's completely okay. The wet food is only a small amount, half a teaspoon or so, if he eats too much of it, he has a tendency to throw up and that's just gross.

He also has a dish on the coffee table that gets filled with a mixture of Pounce & Temptation treats. A layer on the bottom of the dish should be fine. According to my roommate, you're supposed to stir it up so he gets a nice selection but that's just ridiculous. It's already bad enough that the cat eats better than we do, he doesn't need to be waited on hand and foot.

And then, the water. If you can take the white glass that will be on the coffee table and fill it with ice water each day, that will be perfect. He likes to have a nice selection of water. As I type this, I realize how crazy this sounds but I did say he was spoiled.

The litter box will be in the hallway bathroom and it is clumping. Anything else would be uncivilized.

Thank you so much for doing this, it is so greatly appreciated. He has a nervous breakdown if we're gone for an entire day and he has to go without treats, I couldn't even begin to imagine what it would be like if you weren't willing to help us.

Oh my God. Keem actually told me last night to stir the treats up so he had a selection. Is there any reason why he likes her more than me?

Anyway, it is back to work. This will be my last post for awhile. I hope you'll all be having a great time and I look forward to catching up with you when I return from vacation. Hopefully I will have lots of fun stories to share and not how my cat drove the concierge crazy.