Why did I even open my bloody mouth? Seriously.

Do you know what happens when you entitle a post "Bathroom Adventures?" Do you? Let me tell you. You get to spend time in the bathroom for not fun reasons. That's all I'm saying about that. Obviously the holiday gods are laughing at me. But I am of hardy stock and am sure I will be my normal healthy self tomorrow. Johnny recommended some rice and water. I am sure that I could go on the BRAT diet but would rather shoot myself. You know the BRAT diet, right? Bananas (yuck), rice (okay but without butter. What's the point if there is not butter?), Applesauce (see previous mention about bananas) and toast (again, without butter. Again, what is the point?).

I have to say that the food here is marvelous. When I went to Mexico, I had a hard time finding anything that I really liked. Too many tomatoes, for one thing. Tomatoes are evil. Just in case you didn't know that. But here, there is much to be enjoyed.

Last night, Johnny made us what she called chicken steaks (chicken breasts), cabbage with garlic and olive oil (yum) and pasta (also yum).

Beth and I split some different foods at the cafeteria at the museum. The bread here is just the way I like it, thick crusts and soft insides. I could live on bread and butter daily. The pastry we tried was extremely flaky and wonderful and there was not a frightening sausage pasty thing inside. Coke Light is awful. Tastes like Pepsi only worse. Coke is fabulous. We did try something referred to as a slice of pudding. We each only managed one bite apiece. It reminded me of flan and we both had huge texture issues with it.

Today Johnny called something "freakin'." She is blaming Beth and I are for sticking this into her vocabulary. However, we both keep saying "bloody" and "holiday" so I think we're tied. Beth has picked up some of Johnny's mannerisms. It's funny to watch them sit next to each other and see the same gestures. Beth can't do it on purpose though.

Random observations:

Here are some of the things that Beth and I have seen while here.

1. A show similar to Jerry Springer from Brazil. It was in Portuguese so Johnny was translating. Apparently it is a show where you test your lover's fidelity. This girl's boyfriend was making out with 3 actresses. Some of the things he said to the actresses were "Oh, forget I have a girlfriend," "Kill me with pleasure," "Smack me around," and also described his erection in detail. All this while his girlfriend was watching. Nice, huh? When he was told that he had been observed by not only his girlfriend but much of Brazil, he tried to win her back with flowers. When that didn't work, he seemed to think telling her that she was fat and ugly and that she couldn't give him what these 3 women did (as Johnny put it, she is one woman. How can she compete with 3? Bloody wanker) might work. It didn't seem to melt her heart.
2. A man playing the accordian on the Metro (subway).
3. Watching VH1 and seeing the video for the Red Hot Chili Peppers song "Can't Stop." In which there is a man wearing a purple moose head and a guy wearing yellow buckets on his head, hands and feet. Dancing. Weird doesn't even begin to cover it. We refer to it as the weird Timmy video after a friend of ours who once told us he walked around town wearing a box on his head when he was younger.
4. We also saw No Doubt's video for "It's my life." This is funny because there was a time when Beth and I were scrapbooking and this video played every hour on the hour. So it was interesting to see it in Portugal.
5. Watching VH1, we saw the Duran Duran video for "A View To A Kill." If you've never seen it, it's from a James Bond movie. I turned to Beth when it was over and said "What James Bond movie is this from?" She looks at me and says "I'm pretty sure it's 'A View To A Kill'." I replied "Oh. Yeah. Duh."
6. Lots and lots of fish at the grocery store. And also, full Pork heads. There is a picture of it. We'll have to post it.

Keep reading Beth's site as well, she does more detailed posts. I just look for the weird. That's my job. Here's a link to some of my fabulous pictures from the museum.