Sledgehammer

So that touch barrier that I was so worried about breaking? Yeah, well, this weekend I not only broke it but I kind of took a sledgehammer to it. It is lying in little pieces wondering what the heck happened to shy, reclusive Dana that freezes up whenever she tried to interact with a guy she likes (which is the only time that I'm ever shy, reclusive Dana. Any other time I am charmingly askew, refreshingly mad Dana that loves being the center of attention).

Okay, when I say took a sledgehammer to it, I don't mean that I grabbed Gil and threw him onto the table and had my way with him. No. That would require one of those concrete ball things that smashes walls (One of my favorite lines from Gone in 60 Seconds is "Are you okay? Because you just went through a wall" when the concrete ball wall smashing thing knocks a cop car through the wall).

I am not sure why I am still referring to him as Gil since, if he ever stumbles across my blog, he is going to know that I am talking about him since the actions I took last night could not be about anyone but him. But I am not ready to reveal his real name yet. Maybe if something goes a little more further, maybe if there is an actual, oh, I don't know, kiss or something.

This is the email I sent to Rachel:

Okay, so we were sitting there, he comes in and makes sure that he sits next to me, like he usually does. We're talking, his arm or his leg will brush up against me which is driving me crazy, of course. There are a couple of periods when our legs are in full contact for a good five-ten minutes.

He asked to try my drink, Beth thought it was interesting that he chose to drink directly from the straw instead of the side of the glass. I asked to try his beer (Rolling Rock, not bad at all. Which is odd since I hate beer). I then say to Beth "Gil is the only person I know that makes beer smell good." Beth agrees and then adds that so does Liz. I respond with "Well, I don't smell Liz." Which was completely bold and I can't believe I said it but he caught it and was kind of stunned. He did that sort of laugh of amazement, you know what I mean? The "Oh, my God, did she really say that?"

So I sang What Would Happen last night and kind of sang it directly to him at a few points. Yikes. Not so much because that was the plan but I'd look up and he would be watching me.

Then we are getting ready to leave and he has put on this sweatshirt which both Beth and Liz are feeling to see what the texture feels like. Beth is insistent that I feel the sweatshirt even though I already did. So I reach out and oh, not so much feel the sweatshirt but kind of stroke his bicep. Yikes!

Then Bryan and Liz invited us over to their place and Gil was over, he sat next to me and we kind of talked through the night but nothing really happened except that, when he was leaving, he looks directly to me and said that "I hope you survive today." Because I have to start work at 8. And didn't leave there until 4:30 AM. Very tired right now but giddy! Giddy!

Oh. And I also said that seeing him on Sundays was the highlight of my week. I think I might have thrown Liz in there as well but still.

My goodness. I cannot believe I did this. I cannot wait to see him again.

Sledgehammer - Peter Gabriel

You could have a steam train
If you’d just lay down your tracks
You could have an aeroplane flying
If you bring your blue sky back

All you do is call me
I’ll be anything you need

You could have a big dipper
Going up and down, all around the bends
You could have a bumper car, bumping
This amusement never ends

I want to be your sledgehammer
Why don’t you call my name
Oh let me be your sledgehammer
This will be my testimony
Show me round your fruitcage
’cos I will be your honey bee
Open up your fruitcage
Where the fruit is as sweet as can be

I want to be your sledgehammer
Why don’t you call my name
You’d better call the sledgehammer
Put your mind at rest
I’m going to be-the sledgehammer
This can be my testimony
I’m your sledgehammer
Let there be no doubt about it

Sledge sledge sledgehammer

I’ve kicked the habit
Shed my skin
This is the new stuff
I go dancing in, we go dancing in
Oh won’t you show for me
And I will show for you
Show for me, I will show for you
Yea, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I do mean you
Only you
You’ve been coming through
Going to build that power
Build, build up that power, hey
I’ve been feeding the rhythm
I’ve been feeding the rhythm
Going to feel that power, build in you
Come on, come on, help me do
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you
I’ve been feeding the rhythm
I’ve been feeding the rhythm
It’s what we’re doing, doing
All day and night