Thursday, December 14, 2006

Silent Night (hack, hack)

Yeah, I'm getting desperate for titles.

In the last few days, I've felt that my body suddenly decided to have a party and didn't tell me about it. I can almost hear the hilarious sitcom like activity.

Stomach: Hey! Let's have a party!
Lungs: Okay. That sounds like fun.
Brain: Do you think we should let Dana know about this?
Stomach: No. You know how she gets. She's still mad at me for the time I was acting up and she had to drink that chalky antacid for a month. Remember how the doctor threatened to shove a camera down Throat? She was terrified. Hee!
Throat: Yeah, you laugh but believe me, I would have had my revenge.
Brain: Guys. That was 20 odd years ago. Let's not rehash this again.
Lungs: I'll send out the invitations.
Stomach: Oh, I got a better idea. Let's just post flyers all around town.
Brain: But, um, don't you think it might be a better idea to stick to a guest list?
Lungs: Brain, you're so boring. Guest lists are so 90's. Party hearty, dude.
Brain: Oh, yes, you're so hip. I wash my hands of you.
Hands: Don't tell us what to do, Brain. We'll wash ourselves when we are good and ready. And forget that antibacterial stuff you're always telling us to use. It's so boring.

A few minutes later.

Lungs: Hey, dudes, come on in. The party's just getting started. And I don't care that you're complete strangers and look a little shifty.
Airborne Germs: Don't mind if we do. Hey, get a good whiff of my new cologne.
Lungs: Oh, hey, that's really great...cough. Hack. Cough. What do you call that?
Airborne Germs: Oh, it's a knockoff version of the bubonic plague. It's called Minnesota Misery.
Lungs: It's nice...haaaaaaack. Cooooouuuugh. Oh, I'm sorry. That's just nasty. I wonder how that happened.
Airborne Germs: Don't ask us. We're going to go visit the rest of the body now.
Stomach: Woo-hoo! New party-goers! I'm so excited to see you!
Airborne Germs: Hey, we brought you a party gift.
Stomach: Oh, thanks! It's...lovely. What is it?
Airborne Germs: A ticket to non-stop partying action in the bathroom of your choice!
Stomach: Wow! That's awesome...um, excuse me, I need to just exit quickly here.
Airborne Germs: No problem! We'll just hang around and get to know everyone here! It's great!
Brain: Intruders! Intruders! OUT, you damn spots that I'm seeing flash before my eyes. Why am I so dizzy? I'm just spinning around and around and I can't focus on anything. Aren't I supposed to be doing a job right now? Maybe help these people who keep on calling me? I think I'm going to go take a nap for a couple of days.

If you haven't guessed, yes, the bronchitis is back. And it is in my lungs and stomach and my brain doesn't work anymore and my God, I hate this. No one should have to live like this. I can't even use my CPAP because my stupid nose is so clogged up that I can't breathe. Breathing is important. Just in case you were wondering.

I am waiting for the bus to come, another 20 minutes and I will be on my way home. And to my bed where I'm not leaving for the next few days. Thankfully, my wonderful awesome boss whom I adore figured out that I have a day of PTO left. I don't know where it was hiding but I am taking it. I had 3 hours of overtime that is now being put towards standard hours and I stayed from 7 to 12:20 today (it was going to be noon but a customer came in at the last minute and I had to help them).

I know I am not dying, not really, but it sure feels like it. I hate this. Adios, amigos. Know that I'll be thinking of you. I'll catch up on you all next week.