Ten Things I've Never Done

Mark tagged me for this. I don’t think I’m going to be quite as creative as he was (check his post out here) but I think it’ll be fun.

1. I have never petted a cougar. I wanted to, once when I was at the Como Zoo; it was lying very close to the bars and looked quite cuddly. Fortunately, my mother squashed that idea by dragging me quite firmly the other way.

2. I have never had a driver’s license. I have had my driver’s permit twice. Once when I was 18 and once when I was 36 or 37. Ask Beth. She would know. I don’t remember these things.

3. I have never killed anyone. Even though my New Year’s Resolution this year was to not kill anyone, it was mainly a joke. I am not particularly a violent person. I mean, sure, I make vague threatening gestures with a fork when people irritate me but that doesn’t mean I’ll actually stab them or anything.

4. I have never been in love. I have been in like and in lust and in infatuation but never in love. I’m not sure I regret this, especially when I consider the men I have dated in the past. But, hey, better bruised pride than a broken heart, right?

5. I have also never been married (but I was engaged once) or been pregnant. I’m very thankful about the not having children. I do not think I would be a good mother because I am distracted easily and am not overly fond of small children under the age of six. Except for Josh, of course. And that’s not just because I’m afraid of my sister.

6. I have never been arrested. I was, however, stopped by the police a couple of times. Both times took place when I worked for the Sub Shoppe and was on my way home from work. The first time, one of my co-workers was walking me home since my ride had cancelled on me. As we walked down the street, a police officer stopped us and demanded to know our names. He wanted us to give them in a particular order and told us to give him our first names. I provide him with mine and he writes it down. Then my co-worker gives him her name and he almost blew a gasket.

Police Officer (PO): What is your first name?
Co-worker (CW): Sandymae (fake name).
PO: No. Don’t give me your middle name! I want your first name! What is your first name?
CW: Sandymae.
PO: NO! I said give me your first name! Quit messing around! What is your first name?
CW: My first name is Sandymae. Would you like to see my driver’s license?

The police officer snatched the license out of her hand and was dismayed to see that, yes, Sandymae was her first name. She had not been “messing around.” After he finally gets our names written down correctly, he tells us that two boys were seen breaking into a restaurant and stealing cigarette packs from the vending machine. Did we have anything to do with this? Uh, no. Since we’re not boys and weren’t coming from the direction of the restaurant.

The second time I was stopped was when my ride had forgotten to pick me up; I had to call home and was waiting outside of the building when I saw my ride go by. I crossed the street but got trapped on the median by all of the cars passing by. The police officer that stopped me was wondering what I was doing. I explained to him that I was waiting for my ride since I had just left work. When my ride pulled up, the police officer started interrogating him, wanting to know if we had been in a fight. The Putz (as I affectionately called my roommate’s boyfriend), said “No. I fell asleep.”

7. I’ve never been to the United Kingdom. Two months ago, I would have written that I’ve never been to Europe but that was before Beth and I went to see Johnny last month. However, the plan is to visit the UK in a few years, after we go to Italy in 2007. Note to Beth, I spoke to Larry last night through Windows Messenger and he is possibly making a trip out to the Mall of America in October or November. His goal is to end up on your list of “In Real Life” friends.

8. I have never finished a novel. I have problems with this, I have a tendency to write a chapter and then overanalyze it and edit until there’s almost nothing left. It’s quite irritating. I have, however, published a poem in an anthology through www.poetry.com. I have the book. It’s very exciting (not really). One of these days I should start posting the novel I sort of am working on now and see what you all think. Maybe you could help me get over my need to critique myself.

9. I have never physically been in a movie. I did a voice over once with other students for Lakewood Community College but they had another people pretend to be us. I did do a lot of acting in high school and at my church and I miss it. I think that’s why I like karaoke so much. I get to be on stage again.

10. I have never run a marathon. Thanks to Rachel for helping me think of this. She’s looking at a muscle and fitness magazine right now because she thinks she needs to lose weight. Dear Internet, if you could see her, you would join me in laughing at her because she is gorgeous and the type of person I would hate if she wasn’t so damn nice.

This was fun. I feel no need to tag anyone to do this but if any of you wanted to, I would be happy to read it!