Dreams, Vampires and why I'm going to hell

From: DM
Sent: Sunday, January 11, 2004 7:42 AM
To: Keem; Beth; Adam

Yesterday, all my troubles were so far away, now I need a place for me to stay. Ooh, I believe in Yesterday. Okay, sorry, couldn't help it. Anyway, yesterday was my 4 year anniversary with NABABNA. Long live NABABNA & Dana - a wondrous partnership.

From: Keem
Sent: Sunday, January 11, 2004 8:03 AM
To: DM

Congrats! You're a dork, by the way.

From: DM
Sent: Sunday, January 11, 2004 8:07 AM
To: Keem

Nooooo...not me. Barb says I should call the dream doctor to find out what my dreams mean (I had two dreams about Patrick Warburton (ah, Puddy, how I love thee. Even when you are blue. Even when you are a stupid cop (I don't think cops are stupid. The character is stupid. And a cop)). In one of them I was supposed to keep him from doing anything stupid because he was, apparently, a werewolf vampire mix and had a tendency to eat people that insulted me because he was hopelessly in love with me. The other dream, he kept asking me to marry him and I kept telling him he couldn’t be in love with me. And then his Dad proposed to Beth. Or Keem. Not sure anymore. Great dreams though, even with the whole he was eating people. Because, hey, Patrick Warburton was in love with me in two dreams. Obviously it’s coming true).

From: Keem
Sent: Sunday, January 11, 2004 8:14 AM
To: DM

The dream doctor? I would say that you have this thing about Puddy right now.

From: DM
Sent: Sunday, January 11, 2004 8:16 AM
To: Keem

I'm sure there's much more to it psychologically, perhaps my subconscious is telling me I am not sure of myself and I should recognize my inner beauty. Or that I think Puddy's hot.

From: Keem
Sent: Sunday, January 11, 2004 8:20 AM
To: DM

I'd go with the Puddy's hot thing. I am saddened. They handed out the balloons for the annual sales conference. I was hoping that I would get to go...yes, it's a long shot, but it's fun to dream. Just once I would like to be able to go...

From: DM
Sent: Sunday, January 11, 2004 8:35 AM
To: Keem

Oh, I know...I wish that I could go as well, it would be fun.

From: Keem
Sent: Sunday, January 11, 2004 8:44 AM
To: DM

Oh well. Life goes on.

From: DM
Sent: Sunday, January 11, 2004 8:48 AM
To: Keem

Yes, yes, it does. It is very good that it continues because otherwise, we would be dead and that would be sad.

From: Keem
Sent: Sunday, January 11, 2004 8:51 AM
To: DM

It would be sad, but then we wouldn't have to work anymore.

From: DM
Sent: Sunday, January 11, 2004 8:52 AM
To: Keem

Well, yes, maybe, unless we were the undead. Then we would still end up working and there's the whole brains as food issue. Yuck.

From: Keem
Sent: Sunday, January 11, 2004 8:54 AM
To: DM

Just because we were the undead, doesn't mean we'd eat brains as food. We could be vampires, turn Beth and then we would all be together eternally. Think of it as an eternity of Sheepshead, stamping and scrapbooking.

From: DM
Sent: Sunday, January 11, 2004 8:55 AM
To: Keem

Yeah, but then there's the whole blood thing...yuck. And you know Beth would be on some weird sleep schedule that was different then ours. Although the rest wouldn't be bad...could we turn Puddy?

From: Keem
Sent: Sunday, January 11, 2004 8:58 AM
To: DM

Sure. You can have Puddy, I'll turn my Male Friend I've Had A Crush On Forever and Beth can have whomever she wants. Her sleep schedule probably wouldn't change that much to worry about it. We'd all get on the same schedule anyway. I can adapt. Blood schmood. Angel does it. It doesn't have to be from a person. Just think of the options. We could just knock off a blood bank every once in a while. If we live in The Apartment Building We Currently Reside In, the Red Cross isn't that far away. Just 3 blocks. We can get it there.

From: DM
Sent: Sunday, January 11, 2004 9:01 AM
To: Keem

Ok. I guess I'll learn to deal with it. The English eat blood pudding and seem to like it.

From: Keem
Sent: Sunday, January 11, 2004 9:16 AM
To: DM

Blood pudding??? Ick!!!


From: DM
Sent: Sunday, January 11, 2004 9:18 AM
To: Keem

Well, yeah, I know. But hello, you're talking about drinking blood like it's no big deal and then there's the whole no more soul thing and it'll be awful because then I'll go to hell and I won't like that one bit and then God will be mad at me...sorry, a vampire's life is not for me. How about I'll be the vampire slayer that befriends you and you guys will work for good and that's why I'll complain about Beth's sleep schedule.

From: Keem
Sent: Sunday, January 11, 2004 9:19 AM
To: DM

You can be the vampire with a soul. It just never left you. You can be a Holy Vampire.

From: DM
Sent: Sunday, January 11, 2004 9:20 AM
To: Keem

Wait. How do you become a Holy Vampire? I suppose I could convert all the evil vampires.

From: Keem
Sent: Sunday, January 11, 2004 9:23 AM
To: DM

Well, they do it in the Anita Blake novels...but then it's all about becoming a vampire. You can do it. As long as you ask for forgiveness, God will forgive you...

From: DM
Sent: Sunday, January 11, 2004 9:25 AM
To: Keem

Um, I think God might seriously frown on me deliberately giving my soul away. I really think that might be a deal breaker on the whole forgiveness thing. I suppose I could ask a theologian what they think. Are there holy vampires in the novels? I don't remember that.

From: Keem
Sent: Sunday, January 11, 2004 9:28 AM
To: DM

Technically, you don't have the choice. The vampire who turns you has to have the willpower to stop before they kill you. I think you'd still be forgiven on a technicality...hee hee
The books have the church of eternal life, but that's for those who want to become a vampire. Kinda weird. But you could be the first to start one...

From: DM
Sent: Sunday, January 11, 2004 9:32 AM
To: Keem

Hmm, we'll have to think about this. Eternal life, getting to keep my soul...well, gosh, that sounds just like accepting Jesus as your saviour. Oh, I just had a terrible thought, I was thinking there's no blood but then I thought about drink this wine, it is my blood...Jesus was a vampire! Oh, crap. I am so going to Hell for blasphemy.

Previous Comments:

At 12:35 PM, Firebear said...
Was that a goat? Ha ha ha! I love that movie. And as for the holy vampire, I would have to think on Lestat, from the Ann Rice novels. He meet, and tasted Jesus. That has to be considered a blessing of sort.