Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Stop the Presses! Breaking News!

October 20th, 2004
St. Paul, MN

Today Dana, Queen of the Universe, stood on her podium in the cold and announced her retirement from the blogging world. Apparently, an anonymous blogger informed her that she was fat. Stunned by this revelation, living as she has in a world completely devoid of mirrors, clothing measurements and interested bystanders who would point this out for her own good, Ms. Dana was devestated.

"I never knew," The Queen of the Universe stated in a tear-choked voice. "All this time, I had thought I was thin. If I have learned anything from this experience, it is to be grateful to Anonymous for telling me. How have I gone this long without being aware of this?"

For the record, if anyone has any doubts about the above statement, this is sarcasm.

Let me tell you something, Anonymous or Kisses, however you choose to be known, that if you think for one moment that your comments hurt me in any manner, you are a fool. Maybe in my past, when I made bad choices and hung out with people who thought it was cool to make fun of me, this would have set me back for days, if not months. However, I am not that person anymore. I am not that weak little girl who let herself be taken advantage of day after day. I have friends who care about me and think I am awesome, as is apparent from the comments left on both posts. And I think they are just as awesome.

So you have some choices to make here. You can continue to post your little barbs and hope that you're finding a sensitive spot, you can come forward and tell us what your real name (but I'm thinking you won't) or you can go away and play teleprompter with someone else.

Just so you're clear here, I don't really give a damn what you do. You are beneath me. If you are who I think you are, you have always been beneath me. Here's some information for you. Your comments, while juvenile and pathetic, merely amuse me. That's why I haven't deleted them. But, again, let's be clear. I'm the one with the power in this situation. If I want to, your comments can be deleted. So, really, why even bother? No one cares what you have to say.

Previous Comments:

At 4:12 PM, Firebear said...
Oh wait are we still talking about this kid? LOL Good post, and if i really thought you were quitting blogging, i would have to come over that and straighton you out!
At 4:44 PM, The Lioness said...
You go girl! (That first part was hilarious!)
At 6:13 PM, Anonymous said...
Hilarious? Ha ha. I remember using sarcasm when I was 12. I felt real clever back then.No one cares what I have to say? I have 1,2,...14,15 pages of text that say otherwise. Y'all do go on, don't you?I can safely say that this is the single most amusing thing to me in the last five minutes. You make me giggle with your "outrage".- Kisses
At 6:48 PM, angelia said...
Dana,I want you to know a lot of people don't judge others by their appearance or come to the conclusion of their character based on ignorant sterotypes. I know who you are as a person, and you are wonderful, I am so thankful that I can call you my friend.
At 12:00 PM, CarpeDM said...
Thanks, Ang, you rock. I am glad to call you my friend as well!
At 2:04 AM, brooksba said...
Dana,I enjoyed this post. I think you are strong and wonderful. You are one of my heroes.